Brooke and JeffreyTinder is fun, but the dates don’t always work out, and can sometimes be really… really bad. Two of our listeners battle HEAD-to-HEAD to see who has the most tragic dating life in our segment, Battle of the Tinder Dates!
Two hopeless daters one dating app, then dares you swipe right.
The question is whose love life is more tragic.
It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.
It's the dating game show that got a little too passionate during CPR class when you threw on some Marvin Gay and Eagle straddle that dummy.
It's compressions only now, Jack.
It's the Battle of the Tinder Dates, where two of our listeners go head to head to find out whose dating life is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules in just a second, but first let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, she likes sending naughty picks, but only using the super pixelated camera on her two thousand and one Razor flip phone, and that's why the boys call her Motorola.
Lola doesn't look.
Good in those pixelated picks.
Yeah, you have some big squares there.
And in the other.
Corner, she set up a kissing booth outside the UN headquarters to end global conflicts a sexier way.
Wait a minute, World.
Peace Denise.
Representative from Libya really got into it.
But here's how the game works.
One contestant will start by telling one of their worst date stories, the other one trying to counter with a nightmare story of their own. We're gonna go back and forth for three rounds until we declare a winner, starting it off with Motorola, Lola, let's go.
Okay, So this guy and I went on a walk in the park, but there were pigeons everywhere. I mean, like a gross amount of pigeon.
Ull oh very park.
Like, yeah, it happens. But the funny thing is this guy gets really excited when he sees the pigeons and he pulls a letter out of his bag, a letter. Yeah, I'm like, huh, okay, quirky, intrigued, and then he tries to give it to a pigeon, telling me he's trying to train them to deliver mail.
Carrier pigeon.
It's probably a little bit cheaper than using the postal service is delivering mail?
Who needs forever stamps when you have forever pigeon. Okay, you just asked the best question, which is who is he delivering mail to? He was trying to contact his ex had blocked him, so she's going to.
Read that a pigeon in the bark dropped. Yeah, it's probably to tell his x ham with a much hotter girl.
Now that means world piece, Denise, we're over to you.
So you're in the middle of dinner at a quiet restaurant, okay, and the guy's like, hey, sorry, I have to take an important phone call, and he takes it in front of me.
Interesting, you'd usually excuse yourself. Yeah, yeah, No.
So it turns out it's a virtual court appearance for himself.
No.
I couldn't tell exactly what for why we were in a virtual court, but here we were in this he's help the judge. He actually has a character witness right next to him. We see to point the camera at me.
Oh what did you say?
I got up and left?
Whoam then yeah.
To Lola, back to you.
Okay, this was actually a really good date with this tall, dark and handsome guy. Okay, yeah. Yeah. We ended up going back to his house and we're in the middle of making out and then he like pulls back and looks deep into my eyes and he tells me how much I remind him of his fourth wife.
Did you ask if it was married past tense because it felt very present last your eight You know what?
I did not even ask after that, I just knew I did not want to be whatever.
The next number was going to be Denise Counter.
So I had this guy who offered to pick me up for our day, which horay right, But when he shows up, I opened the passenger car door and there's already a girl in the front seat. He tells me, no, no, it's okay, just hop in the back. So I get in the back, and then he proceeds to introduce it, saying that he klimbed our dates too close together, so he is going to drop her off first and then we can start her day.
Oh that's a gentleman. Moved to at least drop the other date off.
He wasn't late to get you.
Yeah?
Wait was she? Chill? No?
It was very awkward and si oh wow, Okay, her name is Stacey.
You guys are now friends apparently, So okay, I heard bell there. That means we're on to the third round. We need your best stories here, ladies. So Motorola, Lola, what do you got?
Okay? I was on this date with this guy. We're driving to the restaurant and he just says real quick, like I get to stop off somewhere. Is that cool? I'm like, yeah, totally. We enter a building and end up in a waiting room of a dentist's office.
Oh no, this is sexy. Keep going.
So I finally turned to him and I'm like, do you's an appointment or you like picking something? Use, Like, what's what's going on? And he tells me that he just enjoys the smell of fluoride so much so that it turns him on. Yeah, he was trying to set the mood for us, dude, and the dentist's office does have a real distinct smell.
Yeah, it's like a medicine. Yeah, Denise, this is your last chance.
So I went to dinner with this guy. He was super cute and everything was going really well okay, and says, you know, every couple argues at some point, I wonder if we're good at that. I'm like, oh no, I don't know, considering it's the first day. And he's like, why don't we try it after dessert?
And I laugh it off.
Okay, yeah, sure, Yeah, I really thought he was joking.
Yeah, let's play an art.
We finished, he gets the check, we get up, and he gets mad over nothing.
Oh my god.
He gives up and he leaves text me when I think he got far enough away to be like, now time for makeup hookup.
Actually, this is kind of smart. He's like role playing but not you his own thing. All right, there it is.
We got the final bell there that means the match is over.
We need to score it, Alexis.
I get Lola for.
The guy trying to contact his ex via pigeon.
Oh man, I gotta go Denise with court date phone call and the.
Three yearls were all tied up. You get the final call. I gotta go with Lola.
Congratulations the Ductress of Solitude, And as a prize, Brook will tell you her favorite sexy emoji that she uses to flirt with.
I like, how about winkie face a wow originally classic text in the seven, eight, five nine too.
If you want to appear on the next edition of Battle at the Tinder dates your phone
Tawn is next Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
