Pushkin. Hello, Hello, Malcolm Glabell Here, I have an important announcement. In this season of revisionist history. I'm launching a massive frontal assault on the Walt Disney Company's animated blockbuster, The Little Mermaid. I know what you're saying, Malcolm, what are you doing? It's a children's classic, a young mermaid falls in love and finds her voice. No, it's not a classic. It's a cinematic dumpster fire. And we devote no fewer than three episodes to explaining why we got so carried away that we ended up putting together an all star team to make our own version of The Little Mermaid, featuring Ready Dak Shepherd, Britt Marling, Jody Foster, and Glenn Close. Here's an exclusive preview, starting with our writer and narrator Britt Marling. We're trying to give the feeling of what is possible and then, well, you know, I'd like to see whether we can create a ground swell, public ground swell among nine year old girls in this country for a better version of Little Mermaid, retelling the real one. Yes, yes, yes, yes, So with that, may I present The Little Mermaid two point zero, written and narrated by Britt Marling. Ariel grabs onto a portal window. She hoists herself out of the sea, scales the side of the ship toward the deck. The final bars of cannon Indie float down from above as Aeriel ascends. Do you, Prince Eric, take Ursula to have and to hold in sickness and in health for as long as you bow shall live. Ariel throws one leg over the starboard, railing The guests, enraptured by the perfection of the bride and groom, don't even notice her arrival. Eric looks deep into Ursula's eyes, hypnotized, I do and do you Ursula? Take Prince Eric. Ariel, soaking wet, breathed, and seeweed right in the face, charges forward, leaps onto the stage, heads right for the couple to be like a charging bull. The guests gasp at this invasion, A scorned woman come to sabotage the wedding to throw Eric's fiance overboard. Ariel barrels forward, arms outstretched, and just when it seems like Ariel might strike Ursula, she collides with her in an embrace full of feeling. The guest's jaws drop God in heaven. Ursula shocked, disgusted, lets the mask of perfect bride slip, her true voice laced with bitterness. Get get off me, you fool. Ursula tries to extricate herself from Ariel's arms, but Ariel holds on with a strength of heart impossible to unravel. Ariel, what are you doing? Everyone looks on in a shock at this truly bizarre scene. One woman hugging another woman who wriggles squirms, fights to escape this embrace, but cannot break it and also seems to not really want to, the force of Ariela's kindness gains the power of actual magic, and the shell around Ursula's neck that holds Ariel's voice begins to glow, hum tog away from Ursula as if possessed, and move toward Ariel. Stop stop, stop, I said, But Ariel doesn't stop. By the heat of Ariel's love, Ursula begins to transform back into her original form. Her slender limbs morphin thick, barnacle covered tentacles, her wedding dress burst at the themes to reveal her sea slick octopus body. A woman in the audience screams, shrilly, good, God, disgust. What is she? Children cower under their seats. Grown men back away in horror. Eric stumbles and nearly falls over. Oh oh, I almost married an octopus? Well does Eric marry the octopus? What will Ariel do with Ursula? And who is the voice of that dashing priest? If you want to find out, go here. All three Little Mermaid episodes in the Revisionist History Feed, available wherever you get your podcasts.

Pushkin. Hello, Hello, Malcolm Glabell Here, I have an important announcement. In this season of revisionist history. I'm launching a massive frontal assault on the Walt Disney Company's animated blockbuster, The Little Mermaid. I know what you're saying, Malcolm, what are you doing? It's a children's classic, a young mermaid falls in love and finds her voice. No, it's not a classic. It's a cinematic dumpster fire. And we devote no fewer than three episodes to explaining why we got so carried away that we ended up putting together an all star team to make our own version of The Little Mermaid, featuring Ready Dak Shepherd, Britt Marling, Jody Foster, and Glenn Close. Here's an exclusive preview, starting with our writer and narrator Britt Marling. We're trying to give the feeling of what is possible and then, well, you know, I'd like to see whether we can create a ground swell, public ground swell among nine year old girls in this country for a better version of Little Mermaid, retelling the real one. Yes, yes, yes, yes, So with that, may I present The Little Mermaid two point zero, written and narrated by Britt Marling. Ariel grabs onto a portal window. She hoists herself out of the sea, scales the side of the ship toward the deck. The final bars of cannon Indie float down from above as Aeriel ascends. Do you, Prince Eric, take Ursula to have and to hold in sickness and in health for as long as you bow shall live. Ariel throws one leg over the starboard, railing The guests, enraptured by the perfection of the bride and groom, don't even notice her arrival. Eric looks deep into Ursula's eyes, hypnotized, I do and do you Ursula? Take Prince Eric. Ariel, soaking wet, breathed, and seeweed right in the face, charges forward, leaps onto the stage, heads right for the couple to be like a charging bull. The guests gasp at this invasion, A scorned woman come to sabotage the wedding to throw Eric's fiance overboard. Ariel barrels forward, arms outstretched, and just when it seems like Ariel might strike Ursula, she collides with her in an embrace full of feeling. The guest's jaws drop God in heaven. Ursula shocked, disgusted, lets the mask of perfect bride slip, her true voice laced with bitterness. Get get off me, you fool. Ursula tries to extricate herself from Ariel's arms, but Ariel holds on with a strength of heart impossible to unravel. Ariel, what are you doing? Everyone looks on in a shock at this truly bizarre scene. One woman hugging another woman who wriggles squirms, fights to escape this embrace, but cannot break it and also seems to not really want to, the force of Ariela's kindness gains the power of actual magic, and the shell around Ursula's neck that holds Ariel's voice begins to glow, hum tog away from Ursula as if possessed, and move toward Ariel. Stop stop, stop, I said, But Ariel doesn't stop. By the heat of Ariel's love, Ursula begins to transform back into her original form. Her slender limbs morphin thick, barnacle covered tentacles, her wedding dress burst at the themes to reveal her sea slick octopus body. A woman in the audience screams, shrilly, good, God, disgust. What is she? Children cower under their seats. Grown men back away in horror. Eric stumbles and nearly falls over. Oh oh, I almost married an octopus? Well does Eric marry the octopus? What will Ariel do with Ursula? And who is the voice of that dashing priest? If you want to find out, go here. All three Little Mermaid episodes in the Revisionist History Feed, available wherever you get your podcasts.