Previously on Brewster High. If we want to start winning again, we have to forget about Brady as if he's never coming back. Hi, guys, I'm back. Brady Brewster is back. I need more time for my article. No one cares about that anymore, Clara, I was just with Principal fair Weather, and she says that Principal fair Weather is the one who killed the story. Mr Nelson, it's me, Clara. How come the door to the newspaper room is locked. I don't want anyone to see me like this. Please let me in. I need to get my typewriter. It's over there by the table, but you won't be needing it anymore. Do you want a glass? What come? Scotch? Is that? I don't know what's from the dollar tree? There weren't any labels. What's going on? Mr Nelson? We're done, Clara. That expose about Principal fair Weather. You put on your subject blog for the record. You pushed buttons you shouldn't have pushed, whole levers you shouldn't have pulled, turned knobs you shouldn't have turned. And then don't even get me started about the police. The Principal Fairweather shut us down. That's bullshit. There must be something we can do. No, it's over. This isn't an LCD sound system situation where we do a farewell tour and then come right back. But my story not everything is about you, Clara. It's not about me at all. You care too much. Sometimes in the newspaper trade, Clara, all that matters is the number of words you type. Carry it up. Boys on staff wants to get in here. Soon. They're turning it all into a storage space for the cafeterias. Extra soup, that's the movers. What are you gonna do now? I don't know. I guess I'll keep teaching history in the middle. I'll do with my free nights weekends. And I poured everything I had in this paper, even when fair Weather told me it was unnecessary. Oh this, Nelson, this is a school newspaper. Nobody cares about it. You're a delusional she'd say, Well, here's her. I guess she was finally right. Oh, Mr Nelson, I'm sorry. Now leave me alone. I need to listen to Adele and cry. Okay my advice, Clara, Journalism is dead, all right? Get that super coming? Boys, Can you at least wait until I clear my stuff right here on the desk. All right, this is Clara trying out my new dictation software notes for my substack blog called for the record, I just left the newspaper classroom where Mr Nelson is drowning and cut rate scotch. Why is Principal Fairweather so eager to shut down the newspaper and block my reporting question mark? I must be onto something Comma, but whatever it is remains elusive. Period And that concludes the morning announcements. Now a personal message from all of us here in the PA booth. Welcome Brady on your first day back to Brewster High. Also, we all came up with a new nickname for you. It's Frisbro. We hope you enjoy having it as much as we did coming up with it. In other words, a lot, yeah, good to be back. Thanks wells Bro. Mrs Bagley always a sight for sore eyes, especially after where I've been. Where was that? I don't remember? I have amnesia. I don't remember anything from the past three weeks. Looks like your first day back is going nicely, Brady. It really is, Clara and I plan to milk it. Check it out. Here comes Charlie the p a announcer guy. He looks mad. You really mess things up for me, Clara. Not only did you get the newspaper canceled, but now Principal Fairweather's riding my ass about pi A announcements. It's not my fault. Stop the presses, Clara's a chad. Stop the best you got. Yes, I did a lot of research on newspaper specifics. I thought that was a winner. I guess not. The audience is never wrong. I'll do better next time. Sorry. Also, each ship, Clara can't and full from your mom's. She caught me again. Oh snap, as good a morning as I'm having, you're having the opposite a bad morning. This is what I meant. Let's get class and meet up with our friends at the coffee shop. Sounds good. We love hanging out at the coffee shop. All text Steffin in Hide and you text Dexter and Brant. Oh you better text Brant too. If I do, I'm afraid she'll get the wrong idea, the idea that you both are casually having sex together. Exactly keyword casually. If I text her, she'll think we're getting married. It's neat having you back and everything, Brady, But something just doesn't sit right with me about where you've been. Whatever happened for the past three weeks must have been a run of the male case of short term total amnesia. There's nothing suspicious about it, guys. Everything is suspicious about it. This is a classic psychological phenomenon. Clara. You had a hypothesis and then you wasted any new information to fit that hypothesis. It's called confirmation bias. I learned about it on a commercial for Adam Ruins Everything. Well, I guess it's time to get back to class. That was so smart for them to install a school bell here in the coffee shop. Hey hide, uh can we talk for a minute, sure, Brady, I want to rejuvenate our friendship and also I'm working on rebranding. Would you be into starting band? Yeah? Well, here's the thing, Clara, Geffin and Night we already started a band and it's a trio. Great, then I'll be or fourth. Then it wouldn't be a trio anymore, it'd be a quartet. Rock bands are never four people. Are you sure about that? Yeah? I mean the Police, the Beastie Boys, Link two Ben Folds five, all trios and I know what you're gonna say Ben Folds five isn't five people despite the name. Look, what's important is we'd be doing something together again. So can I join? Brady? How could I say no? And yet? No? Hey, Brady, can we talk for a minute just confirming that you and I are going to a charity ball together? Aren't we? Okay, I'll level with you. I'm not sure I want to go? Are you kidding? We've been excited about this all year. You've been excited about it. I've been just sort of is it me? It's not you, it's I can't say it. You can tell me anything, Brady, Okay. The truth is I don't feel comfortable dancing in public. I'm a great dancer in private, but in front of a lot of people, I guess I just can't do it. The word that gets tossed around the most often is lethargic. Oh, Brady, I never knew. Okay, So here's what we're gonna do. I'll go to a dance on my own and have a great time, and you stay home alone like some sort of loser. See you? Hey, Hi, can we talk for a minute? Shirt extra? What do you want to talk about? We're still going out right. Oh my god, of course cool. We just hadn't checked in on that for a while, and I wanted to close the loop on that storyline. Hey Clara, can we talk for a minute. Do you want to tell me I'm wrong about everything? To Britan No, I wanted to tell you that I believe you. Something doesn't add up. Don't give up your substat blog. I know it's expensive, but I've actually got that covered. I have an angel investor who's paying the cost of the whole thing. Amazing. Who here's the fun part. They're anonymous. Hey, Geffen, can we talk for a minute? What up? Dexter? It seems like everyone here is at a one on one moment with everyone else except you and me, So if we could just talk about something you got it. Let's talk about how we're on our way to Mr Nelson's history class. Oh boy, he's been in a lousy mood ever since Principal Fairweather shut down the school newspaper. His class is really going to be something that bell means. It's time for fifth period Mr Nelson's history class. When we start, as soon as I finish saying this announcement, now, al right, everybody settled down. Settle down, people, people, please settle down. Let's bring it Let's bring it down, guys, let's bring it down. Dial it down. Plays three to one. Um, we were totally settled down already before you said that you're suspended? Anyone else want to mess around today instead of studying history? Answer me? People, Uh no, that's it. You're suspended to Why now you're suspended? But you just suspended me five seconds ago? Do you want to get a third suspension? Do the suspensions run concurrently? Get down on my classroom. All right, everybody, helpd up your history books to chapter twenty nine. You're right, dexter. Mr Nelson really isn't a terrible mood today? Quiet geff in? Do you want to get us suspended? Two? Al right? On June Arch Duke Ferdinand was in fascinated by a member of the Young Bosnia. It is a terrific historical example of how one person's actions can affect tens of thousands of lives. And that's why we study history. Oh that's how you spell history. The past teaches us about the present. For example, if there was someone in the Middle Ages who got the London school newspaper shutdown. We could analyze what they did and avoid making the same mistake. And you guys get that. I'm t gently talking about Clara right because Clara got the school newspaper canceled. Oh that's how you spell newspaper very good. Now in I'm really worried about Mr Nelson. What can we do to help him? He needs something he can obsess over and put a lot of time and energy into. I've got it, a romantic relationship I've always wanted to ship to teachers together. It'll be like slash fiction, but with real, actual people. And that's how America got out of Vietnam. Your homework is the Red chapters thirty three through eighty nine. By tomorrow, what that'll take every waking moment, we're not gonna have lives. Welcome to the club. Also, your suspended, but you already suspended me. That's how I was just kidding this time. I mean, when are you kidding this time? Triple suspension? Hey, Geffen, let's finish this conversation in the hallway where Mr Nelson can hear us. Okay, so who should we hook him up with? Which teachers are single? Five minutes still, next class, No, dawdling everybody, definitely, no flirting. Principal fair Weather has been a nightmare all week. I think your divorce just got finalized. Watch out, she's coming this way. Hey, no running in the halls. Run. I don't know who goes a ship? Gevin? That's it? What will ship? Mr? Nelson with Principal fair Weather? Are you sure you're using the term ship correctly? Don't you dare question my use of modern slang, especially when it comes to fan fiction. But how are we going to do this? First we plant the seeds. I'll take Mr Nelson and you take fair Weather. Then we'll arrange for them to have a rendezvous. I don't know, Dexter, It's not that easy to just put two people together and expect sparks to fly. I mean, love is way more complicated than that. No, love is a simple biochemical reaction, and the human body, under the right conditions, the brain signals the body to produce hormones that trigger a physiological reaction. That we've got to create the right conditions, you know. I read that high stress and fear can mimic those conditions and bring out the proper hormones and pheromones. I've got the perfect idea, and as always, it involves a chemistry lab and space aliens. Thursday lunch break notes for my substack blog, Slow News Day so far. Hell, look, there's Brady talking to Hide about something. A man. If we're not going to start a band, I had an idea for another thing we could do together. Go on, all right, full Monty, What is that a card game or something? A movie? Okay? And it's about a bunch of average looking dudes who do mail stripping to raise money for something. We are not average looking. We're young and attractive and have amazing hot thoughts. Exactly, that's the twist. So you and I will go around and take off our clothes and people will just give us money. Where would we even do that? Wherever married women hang out, juice bars, kids, birthday parties, out in front of Forever twenty one. I'm linking this a lot. We have to find a needy cause though I've got one brand, she needs money. Okay, then brand it is get Ready World. You're about to see all you ever wanted to have. Hide and Brady, that's a little bit more. It's Mr Nelson's history class again. I wonder what's going to happen today? Okay, that's it for today's history class. Remember to read chapters fourteen to eighteen by Monday. Now get out on my site before I suspend a whole lot of you. Extra, What are you still doing here? And why are you standing right in front of me trying to get my attention? You're in the beef jerky, right? I mean, who isn't? Okay? Long story short, Principal fair Weather wanted us to give you this all purpose beef round. Oh what do you tell her? No? Thanks? All purpose translates to I can't cook for ship specific spices for specific dishes, kid, don't let anyone tell you different. Wait a minute, this is good stuff. I mean, I don't know about all purpose, but it would work on jerky. She made this herself. What an unusual woman. There's a lot about Principal fair Weather. You don't know. Oh, I almost forgot. She told me to tell you to meet her in the chemistry lab first thing tomorrow morning. She said something about finding out if you both had chemistry. She said, you know what that means, but should be told it's pretty obvious the chemistry lab. Huh. Thanks Stextra, you can go now. Also, you're suspended. Let me just take a moment to text my friend Jeffen Geffen. As George Bush would say, mission account a polished. Now it's your turn. Do you always say out loud exactly what you're texting? Meanwhile, in Principal Fairweather's office, what's Geffen up to? Principal Fairweather? The other students and I are sorready hear about your divorce. We pulled some money together and paid someone to steal this bottle of tequila from my dad's car. We hope we condule some of the pain. Thank you, Geff. But how did you all find out? Well, to start with, you stopped wearing your wedding ring or talking about anything other than your divorce. Now then he brought it up. I did have a rough time during my divorce twelve years down the drain. I know you probably don't want to discuss your personal life with a student, so I'll just Geffen, Am I ever going to have sex again? I know everyone says that after a breakup, but at some point everyone has sex for the last time without realizing it that that last time happened out of boredom because we couldn't get Netflix to connect. I get it. Divorce sucks. In fact, just yesterday Mr Nelson was telling me how worry was about you. He said, your husband must be an if he was letting a woman as incredible as you go. Otis Nelson said that more or less, I am in a pretty bad place and looking to go zero to sixty with someone like immediately. For what it's worth, Mr Nelson told me to tell you to meet him in the chem lab first thing tomorrow morning. Huh, I wonder if we'll have chemistry nice one, Principal fair Weather. Oh well, back to class for me. I just need to text my friend Dexter. First, Dexter all set. She bought it hook line and sinker. You kids sure have a funny way of saying out loud exactly what you're texting. Sounds like you're selling some fishing equipment. I should put you in touch with my cousin. He has a boat outside of Lake Erie. Thursday night Notes for for the record, I just headed over to see Brady and study statistics and probability I mean, is better now. I'm also looking for some sort of clue, something that will help solve the mystery of where Brady has been the past three weeks. Hey, Clara, can you stop dictating into your phone so we can get back to study? Okay, Brady? A mean preserving spread is a change from one probability distribution that's A to another that's B. I'm not following. Let me put it into a way that maybe you can understand. Think of the mean preserving spread in terms of frisbee. You take an average of all your final scores for this season. Any team whose averages above that has a better chance of winning, right Yeah, And from that you can get a point spread. What's a point spread? When you gamble on a frisbee game? You need to know the number of points the stronger team is expected to win. By gambling on high school sports is illegal? Oh, it's super illegal. Whatever you want, Brady, What is it? Clara? I can tell something's on your mind. All right. You weren't at a wellness resort, Brady, I wasn't. What do you know the address Principal Fairweather had for you? It turned out to be a weird bar. I've went there to find you and only found her a bunch of dad bicyclists. Were they wearing those tight little shorts and shirts that said I'm my daughter's bank account like that. A lot of them were bald And where was I? I was sort of helping you could tell me the past three weeks is a total blink. But I appreciate how much you're worried about me, Clara. So I got you this gift, a basket of fruit flowers. I thought you hated these things. What Who in their right mind would hate melon balls on sharp sticks? Who? Indeed? Well, Tomorrow morning is when Principal Fairweather and Otis Nelson needed the Ken Lab for their rendezvous. What they don't realize is that we're going to create a stressful situation to trigger their love hormones. I can't wait to see how that goes, or should I say here how that goes? Good morning, Bruster Hind. This is a morning pre announcement to give you a heads up that the morning announcements will begin in approximately forty minutes from all of us here in the p A Moon. We hope you have a pleasant pre announcement period. Principal fair Weather, I was afraid you wouldn't show up here in the chemistry lab this morning. The morning bell hasn't wrung yet and you can call me Angie. Well, here we are, Angie, just a couple of consenting adults, Principal fair Weather and Otis Nelson. Sounds like some kind of kids. Show you some homemade beef jerky. I don't know if you want something. Oh no, I don't eat beef. It's bad for the cows. Oh true, true, but just just just try it. That season you sent me is fantastic. Well I didn't send you any seasoning. Uh well, Dexter said you. Huh uh. I think those kids might be trying to set us up. That's crazy. I mean we'd we'd be a terrible magic. We don't have any chemistry. Well we do now because we're in a chemistry laugh. Oh yeah. Detention, Brewster High, this is gifting with your morning announcements. We're being invaded by space aliens. Space aliens have taken positions all around town and are at this very moment moving towards Brewster High. This is some real war the world's ship going on right now. So find someone you love holding type because this might be one of their last moments on Earth. Oh my god, I knew this is gonna happen sooner or later Also, I've been asked to mention that any unclaimed items in the Lost and Found box will be thrown out at the end of the week. Thank you, and watch out for the Unions ship who wanted don't look at that? Oh God t been Lister sing at all? He already enough faith bullet under this nest. Yes, hold on, father, I've never been scared of my life. They either did. We'll be safe here for now. I think these tables a really enforced though. We should be okay at least for five to seven minutes. Nelson, you're so really and how have I never seen it? The boy? Maybe you haven't loved I'm feeling something. It's a surge of adrenaline hand and a strong, strong attraction. I don't know how much longer will be alive, but whatever it is, I want to spend it with you. Can we spend it having sex? On a scale one to ten? That's a big yeah? Congratulations you two. When did you walk in here? Where did all the alien stuff go? You can remove your virtual reality goggles now we're not wearing any goggles. Holy cow, I am wearing VR goggles. Wait a minute, I am too. I didn't notice they were on. You're still in the came labs, just like you thought, Well, where are the aliens and and the spaceships and then the explosions? They were never here. They were all a digital overlay like Pokemon Go. Precisely, we were in a game in a sense, you were playing the game of love. Dexter and I wanted to give your romance a kickstart, so we created this fictional crisis to get the juices flowing. Okay, but how did you get these VR headsets on us without us noticing? Easy? We stuck them on you in the middle of the night while you were asleep. You've had them on since you woke up this morning. How did you get into our houses? That was a bit more complicated. Do you remember the food delivery guy who came to each of your houses? Well that was Dexter. I thought that was odd because I hadn't ordered food at me neither, But you ate those pizzas nonetheless, and in the stuffed crust was a bunch of bendrill. After you were asleep, Dexter came back in and put the headsets on you. Hold on, how did you get into our houses? I know mine was locked earlier? In the day. He bumped into each of you in the hallways. When he did, he pulled those keys right out of your pocket, ran home and made wax molds. When he bumped into again, he returned them. He took the wax impressions and brought them to a metal smith. The metal smith's it open late as a personal favor to my father. First we filled the wax with a quick heartening silicone shell. That new mold became the basis for several metal keys that were smelted right there in his shop. Wow. Not explains it than thank you, Vin. Now get back to fulling around. I have a feeling that erlen Meyer Flask wants to get the Bunsen burning. The principal Fairweather and Otis Nelson's fresh romance wasn't the only excitement that morning in the locker room. Brady and Hyde, we're practicing for their upcoming full Monty show and more importantly, rebuilding their friendship. We need some way to start our act. Yeah, every act needs a gimming. Ours is taking off all our clothes and flopping our junk around. Yeah, but what is the narrative here? The audience needs a way in a way to identify with us as characters. Totally agree. I think we kick it off with one of us saying something like, hey, everybody, we're about to take off all our clothes. That's what writer Dan Brown calls making a promise to your unions. I learned that in his masterclass. And then we deliver on that promise, one article of clothing at a time. But you know what could help music? When the music starts, we begin to move our bodies to the music in a sort of dance. While the idea of Hide and Brady stripping is exciting, I was even more excited for my meeting with my angel investor. I'm at the coffee shop right now, sitting across from him. As usual, he was in disguise as TV's Delightful ted Lasso. So what do you think of my piece so far? It's just a rough draft. Okay, I have a lot of notes. Next time on Brewster High. What if his name was Luke skywriter is your secret investor. Some of us players will want to have sex afterwards, so hang out by the locker room if you're looking for that sort of thing. Every time I meet with him, he's in a ted Lasso costume. Nice triceps. Oh yeah, you otis are the working out. Something you can grind to, like Drede or Ed Sheeran or Adele When you're doing jumping jacks, it'll make your penises really flop around. This episode of Brewster High was written by Celess Ballard and Laura McGuire and Carry O'Neil and Gilly the Scene and Jonathan Stern, and directed by Jonathan Stern. It was performed by Lelon Bowden, Jordan Dahl, Ali Gandor, Jared Goldstein, Greg Hess, Peter Kim, Mike McCafferty, Veronica or Sorio, Shakira, Janet Pay, Marcus Fray, Anna Saragina Sager, Shake, Amy Silverberg, and Morgan Walsh. Executive produced by Keith Quinn and Jonathan Stern. Produced by Frannie Baldwin, Jack brongardt, Natalie Gurgley and Dave Salinger. Music by Mac Novac, Greg Martin and Alison Newman. The supervising sound editor was Julie Diaz and the sound editor was Jack D. Crane. Mixed by Brent Kaiser Sound Design and mixed at Unbridled Sound. Brewster High was a production of abominable pictures and honorable mention for I Heart Media. If you like the way I read these credits, consider me to DJ your next wedding or bar mitzvah.

Previously on Brewster High. If we want to start winning again, we have to forget about Brady as if he's never coming back. Hi, guys, I'm back. Brady Brewster is back. I need more time for my article. No one cares about that anymore, Clara, I was just with Principal fair Weather, and she says that Principal fair Weather is the one who killed the story. Mr Nelson, it's me, Clara. How come the door to the newspaper room is locked. I don't want anyone to see me like this. Please let me in. I need to get my typewriter. It's over there by the table, but you won't be needing it anymore. Do you want a glass? What come? Scotch? Is that? I don't know what's from the dollar tree? There weren't any labels. What's going on? Mr Nelson? We're done, Clara. That expose about Principal fair Weather. You put on your subject blog for the record. You pushed buttons you shouldn't have pushed, whole levers you shouldn't have pulled, turned knobs you shouldn't have turned. And then don't even get me started about the police. The Principal Fairweather shut us down. That's bullshit. There must be something we can do. No, it's over. This isn't an LCD sound system situation where we do a farewell tour and then come right back. But my story not everything is about you, Clara. It's not about me at all. You care too much. Sometimes in the newspaper trade, Clara, all that matters is the number of words you type. Carry it up. Boys on staff wants to get in here. Soon. They're turning it all into a storage space for the cafeterias. Extra soup, that's the movers. What are you gonna do now? I don't know. I guess I'll keep teaching history in the middle. I'll do with my free nights weekends. And I poured everything I had in this paper, even when fair Weather told me it was unnecessary. Oh this, Nelson, this is a school newspaper. Nobody cares about it. You're a delusional she'd say, Well, here's her. I guess she was finally right. Oh, Mr Nelson, I'm sorry. Now leave me alone. I need to listen to Adele and cry. Okay my advice, Clara, Journalism is dead, all right? Get that super coming? Boys, Can you at least wait until I clear my stuff right here on the desk. All right, this is Clara trying out my new dictation software notes for my substack blog called for the record, I just left the newspaper classroom where Mr Nelson is drowning and cut rate scotch. Why is Principal Fairweather so eager to shut down the newspaper and block my reporting question mark? I must be onto something Comma, but whatever it is remains elusive. Period And that concludes the morning announcements. Now a personal message from all of us here in the PA booth. Welcome Brady on your first day back to Brewster High. Also, we all came up with a new nickname for you. It's Frisbro. We hope you enjoy having it as much as we did coming up with it. In other words, a lot, yeah, good to be back. Thanks wells Bro. Mrs Bagley always a sight for sore eyes, especially after where I've been. Where was that? I don't remember? I have amnesia. I don't remember anything from the past three weeks. Looks like your first day back is going nicely, Brady. It really is, Clara and I plan to milk it. Check it out. Here comes Charlie the p a announcer guy. He looks mad. You really mess things up for me, Clara. Not only did you get the newspaper canceled, but now Principal Fairweather's riding my ass about pi A announcements. It's not my fault. Stop the presses, Clara's a chad. Stop the best you got. Yes, I did a lot of research on newspaper specifics. I thought that was a winner. I guess not. The audience is never wrong. I'll do better next time. Sorry. Also, each ship, Clara can't and full from your mom's. She caught me again. Oh snap, as good a morning as I'm having, you're having the opposite a bad morning. This is what I meant. Let's get class and meet up with our friends at the coffee shop. Sounds good. We love hanging out at the coffee shop. All text Steffin in Hide and you text Dexter and Brant. Oh you better text Brant too. If I do, I'm afraid she'll get the wrong idea, the idea that you both are casually having sex together. Exactly keyword casually. If I text her, she'll think we're getting married. It's neat having you back and everything, Brady, But something just doesn't sit right with me about where you've been. Whatever happened for the past three weeks must have been a run of the male case of short term total amnesia. There's nothing suspicious about it, guys. Everything is suspicious about it. This is a classic psychological phenomenon. Clara. You had a hypothesis and then you wasted any new information to fit that hypothesis. It's called confirmation bias. I learned about it on a commercial for Adam Ruins Everything. Well, I guess it's time to get back to class. That was so smart for them to install a school bell here in the coffee shop. Hey hide, uh can we talk for a minute, sure, Brady, I want to rejuvenate our friendship and also I'm working on rebranding. Would you be into starting band? Yeah? Well, here's the thing, Clara, Geffin and Night we already started a band and it's a trio. Great, then I'll be or fourth. Then it wouldn't be a trio anymore, it'd be a quartet. Rock bands are never four people. Are you sure about that? Yeah? I mean the Police, the Beastie Boys, Link two Ben Folds five, all trios and I know what you're gonna say Ben Folds five isn't five people despite the name. Look, what's important is we'd be doing something together again. So can I join? Brady? How could I say no? And yet? No? Hey, Brady, can we talk for a minute just confirming that you and I are going to a charity ball together? Aren't we? Okay, I'll level with you. I'm not sure I want to go? Are you kidding? We've been excited about this all year. You've been excited about it. I've been just sort of is it me? It's not you, it's I can't say it. You can tell me anything, Brady, Okay. The truth is I don't feel comfortable dancing in public. I'm a great dancer in private, but in front of a lot of people, I guess I just can't do it. The word that gets tossed around the most often is lethargic. Oh, Brady, I never knew. Okay, So here's what we're gonna do. I'll go to a dance on my own and have a great time, and you stay home alone like some sort of loser. See you? Hey, Hi, can we talk for a minute? Shirt extra? What do you want to talk about? We're still going out right. Oh my god, of course cool. We just hadn't checked in on that for a while, and I wanted to close the loop on that storyline. Hey Clara, can we talk for a minute. Do you want to tell me I'm wrong about everything? To Britan No, I wanted to tell you that I believe you. Something doesn't add up. Don't give up your substat blog. I know it's expensive, but I've actually got that covered. I have an angel investor who's paying the cost of the whole thing. Amazing. Who here's the fun part. They're anonymous. Hey, Geffen, can we talk for a minute? What up? Dexter? It seems like everyone here is at a one on one moment with everyone else except you and me, So if we could just talk about something you got it. Let's talk about how we're on our way to Mr Nelson's history class. Oh boy, he's been in a lousy mood ever since Principal Fairweather shut down the school newspaper. His class is really going to be something that bell means. It's time for fifth period Mr Nelson's history class. When we start, as soon as I finish saying this announcement, now, al right, everybody settled down. Settle down, people, people, please settle down. Let's bring it Let's bring it down, guys, let's bring it down. Dial it down. Plays three to one. Um, we were totally settled down already before you said that you're suspended? Anyone else want to mess around today instead of studying history? Answer me? People, Uh no, that's it. You're suspended to Why now you're suspended? But you just suspended me five seconds ago? Do you want to get a third suspension? Do the suspensions run concurrently? Get down on my classroom. All right, everybody, helpd up your history books to chapter twenty nine. You're right, dexter. Mr Nelson really isn't a terrible mood today? Quiet geff in? Do you want to get us suspended? Two? Al right? On June Arch Duke Ferdinand was in fascinated by a member of the Young Bosnia. It is a terrific historical example of how one person's actions can affect tens of thousands of lives. And that's why we study history. Oh that's how you spell history. The past teaches us about the present. For example, if there was someone in the Middle Ages who got the London school newspaper shutdown. We could analyze what they did and avoid making the same mistake. And you guys get that. I'm t gently talking about Clara right because Clara got the school newspaper canceled. Oh that's how you spell newspaper very good. Now in I'm really worried about Mr Nelson. What can we do to help him? He needs something he can obsess over and put a lot of time and energy into. I've got it, a romantic relationship I've always wanted to ship to teachers together. It'll be like slash fiction, but with real, actual people. And that's how America got out of Vietnam. Your homework is the Red chapters thirty three through eighty nine. By tomorrow, what that'll take every waking moment, we're not gonna have lives. Welcome to the club. Also, your suspended, but you already suspended me. That's how I was just kidding this time. I mean, when are you kidding this time? Triple suspension? Hey, Geffen, let's finish this conversation in the hallway where Mr Nelson can hear us. Okay, so who should we hook him up with? Which teachers are single? Five minutes still, next class, No, dawdling everybody, definitely, no flirting. Principal fair Weather has been a nightmare all week. I think your divorce just got finalized. Watch out, she's coming this way. Hey, no running in the halls. Run. I don't know who goes a ship? Gevin? That's it? What will ship? Mr? Nelson with Principal fair Weather? Are you sure you're using the term ship correctly? Don't you dare question my use of modern slang, especially when it comes to fan fiction. But how are we going to do this? First we plant the seeds. I'll take Mr Nelson and you take fair Weather. Then we'll arrange for them to have a rendezvous. I don't know, Dexter, It's not that easy to just put two people together and expect sparks to fly. I mean, love is way more complicated than that. No, love is a simple biochemical reaction, and the human body, under the right conditions, the brain signals the body to produce hormones that trigger a physiological reaction. That we've got to create the right conditions, you know. I read that high stress and fear can mimic those conditions and bring out the proper hormones and pheromones. I've got the perfect idea, and as always, it involves a chemistry lab and space aliens. Thursday lunch break notes for my substack blog, Slow News Day so far. Hell, look, there's Brady talking to Hide about something. A man. If we're not going to start a band, I had an idea for another thing we could do together. Go on, all right, full Monty, What is that a card game or something? A movie? Okay? And it's about a bunch of average looking dudes who do mail stripping to raise money for something. We are not average looking. We're young and attractive and have amazing hot thoughts. Exactly, that's the twist. So you and I will go around and take off our clothes and people will just give us money. Where would we even do that? Wherever married women hang out, juice bars, kids, birthday parties, out in front of Forever twenty one. I'm linking this a lot. We have to find a needy cause though I've got one brand, she needs money. Okay, then brand it is get Ready World. You're about to see all you ever wanted to have. Hide and Brady, that's a little bit more. It's Mr Nelson's history class again. I wonder what's going to happen today? Okay, that's it for today's history class. Remember to read chapters fourteen to eighteen by Monday. Now get out on my site before I suspend a whole lot of you. Extra, What are you still doing here? And why are you standing right in front of me trying to get my attention? You're in the beef jerky, right? I mean, who isn't? Okay? Long story short, Principal fair Weather wanted us to give you this all purpose beef round. Oh what do you tell her? No? Thanks? All purpose translates to I can't cook for ship specific spices for specific dishes, kid, don't let anyone tell you different. Wait a minute, this is good stuff. I mean, I don't know about all purpose, but it would work on jerky. She made this herself. What an unusual woman. There's a lot about Principal fair Weather. You don't know. Oh, I almost forgot. She told me to tell you to meet her in the chemistry lab first thing tomorrow morning. She said something about finding out if you both had chemistry. She said, you know what that means, but should be told it's pretty obvious the chemistry lab. Huh. Thanks Stextra, you can go now. Also, you're suspended. Let me just take a moment to text my friend Jeffen Geffen. As George Bush would say, mission account a polished. Now it's your turn. Do you always say out loud exactly what you're texting? Meanwhile, in Principal Fairweather's office, what's Geffen up to? Principal Fairweather? The other students and I are sorready hear about your divorce. We pulled some money together and paid someone to steal this bottle of tequila from my dad's car. We hope we condule some of the pain. Thank you, Geff. But how did you all find out? Well, to start with, you stopped wearing your wedding ring or talking about anything other than your divorce. Now then he brought it up. I did have a rough time during my divorce twelve years down the drain. I know you probably don't want to discuss your personal life with a student, so I'll just Geffen, Am I ever going to have sex again? I know everyone says that after a breakup, but at some point everyone has sex for the last time without realizing it that that last time happened out of boredom because we couldn't get Netflix to connect. I get it. Divorce sucks. In fact, just yesterday Mr Nelson was telling me how worry was about you. He said, your husband must be an if he was letting a woman as incredible as you go. Otis Nelson said that more or less, I am in a pretty bad place and looking to go zero to sixty with someone like immediately. For what it's worth, Mr Nelson told me to tell you to meet him in the chem lab first thing tomorrow morning. Huh, I wonder if we'll have chemistry nice one, Principal fair Weather. Oh well, back to class for me. I just need to text my friend Dexter. First, Dexter all set. She bought it hook line and sinker. You kids sure have a funny way of saying out loud exactly what you're texting. Sounds like you're selling some fishing equipment. I should put you in touch with my cousin. He has a boat outside of Lake Erie. Thursday night Notes for for the record, I just headed over to see Brady and study statistics and probability I mean, is better now. I'm also looking for some sort of clue, something that will help solve the mystery of where Brady has been the past three weeks. Hey, Clara, can you stop dictating into your phone so we can get back to study? Okay, Brady? A mean preserving spread is a change from one probability distribution that's A to another that's B. I'm not following. Let me put it into a way that maybe you can understand. Think of the mean preserving spread in terms of frisbee. You take an average of all your final scores for this season. Any team whose averages above that has a better chance of winning, right Yeah, And from that you can get a point spread. What's a point spread? When you gamble on a frisbee game? You need to know the number of points the stronger team is expected to win. By gambling on high school sports is illegal? Oh, it's super illegal. Whatever you want, Brady, What is it? Clara? I can tell something's on your mind. All right. You weren't at a wellness resort, Brady, I wasn't. What do you know the address Principal Fairweather had for you? It turned out to be a weird bar. I've went there to find you and only found her a bunch of dad bicyclists. Were they wearing those tight little shorts and shirts that said I'm my daughter's bank account like that. A lot of them were bald And where was I? I was sort of helping you could tell me the past three weeks is a total blink. But I appreciate how much you're worried about me, Clara. So I got you this gift, a basket of fruit flowers. I thought you hated these things. What Who in their right mind would hate melon balls on sharp sticks? Who? Indeed? Well, Tomorrow morning is when Principal Fairweather and Otis Nelson needed the Ken Lab for their rendezvous. What they don't realize is that we're going to create a stressful situation to trigger their love hormones. I can't wait to see how that goes, or should I say here how that goes? Good morning, Bruster Hind. This is a morning pre announcement to give you a heads up that the morning announcements will begin in approximately forty minutes from all of us here in the p A Moon. We hope you have a pleasant pre announcement period. Principal fair Weather, I was afraid you wouldn't show up here in the chemistry lab this morning. The morning bell hasn't wrung yet and you can call me Angie. Well, here we are, Angie, just a couple of consenting adults, Principal fair Weather and Otis Nelson. Sounds like some kind of kids. Show you some homemade beef jerky. I don't know if you want something. Oh no, I don't eat beef. It's bad for the cows. Oh true, true, but just just just try it. That season you sent me is fantastic. Well I didn't send you any seasoning. Uh well, Dexter said you. Huh uh. I think those kids might be trying to set us up. That's crazy. I mean we'd we'd be a terrible magic. We don't have any chemistry. Well we do now because we're in a chemistry laugh. Oh yeah. Detention, Brewster High, this is gifting with your morning announcements. We're being invaded by space aliens. Space aliens have taken positions all around town and are at this very moment moving towards Brewster High. This is some real war the world's ship going on right now. So find someone you love holding type because this might be one of their last moments on Earth. Oh my god, I knew this is gonna happen sooner or later Also, I've been asked to mention that any unclaimed items in the Lost and Found box will be thrown out at the end of the week. Thank you, and watch out for the Unions ship who wanted don't look at that? Oh God t been Lister sing at all? He already enough faith bullet under this nest. Yes, hold on, father, I've never been scared of my life. They either did. We'll be safe here for now. I think these tables a really enforced though. We should be okay at least for five to seven minutes. Nelson, you're so really and how have I never seen it? The boy? Maybe you haven't loved I'm feeling something. It's a surge of adrenaline hand and a strong, strong attraction. I don't know how much longer will be alive, but whatever it is, I want to spend it with you. Can we spend it having sex? On a scale one to ten? That's a big yeah? Congratulations you two. When did you walk in here? Where did all the alien stuff go? You can remove your virtual reality goggles now we're not wearing any goggles. Holy cow, I am wearing VR goggles. Wait a minute, I am too. I didn't notice they were on. You're still in the came labs, just like you thought, Well, where are the aliens and and the spaceships and then the explosions? They were never here. They were all a digital overlay like Pokemon Go. Precisely, we were in a game in a sense, you were playing the game of love. Dexter and I wanted to give your romance a kickstart, so we created this fictional crisis to get the juices flowing. Okay, but how did you get these VR headsets on us without us noticing? Easy? We stuck them on you in the middle of the night while you were asleep. You've had them on since you woke up this morning. How did you get into our houses? That was a bit more complicated. Do you remember the food delivery guy who came to each of your houses? Well that was Dexter. I thought that was odd because I hadn't ordered food at me neither, But you ate those pizzas nonetheless, and in the stuffed crust was a bunch of bendrill. After you were asleep, Dexter came back in and put the headsets on you. Hold on, how did you get into our houses? I know mine was locked earlier? In the day. He bumped into each of you in the hallways. When he did, he pulled those keys right out of your pocket, ran home and made wax molds. When he bumped into again, he returned them. He took the wax impressions and brought them to a metal smith. The metal smith's it open late as a personal favor to my father. First we filled the wax with a quick heartening silicone shell. That new mold became the basis for several metal keys that were smelted right there in his shop. Wow. Not explains it than thank you, Vin. Now get back to fulling around. I have a feeling that erlen Meyer Flask wants to get the Bunsen burning. The principal Fairweather and Otis Nelson's fresh romance wasn't the only excitement that morning in the locker room. Brady and Hyde, we're practicing for their upcoming full Monty show and more importantly, rebuilding their friendship. We need some way to start our act. Yeah, every act needs a gimming. Ours is taking off all our clothes and flopping our junk around. Yeah, but what is the narrative here? The audience needs a way in a way to identify with us as characters. Totally agree. I think we kick it off with one of us saying something like, hey, everybody, we're about to take off all our clothes. That's what writer Dan Brown calls making a promise to your unions. I learned that in his masterclass. And then we deliver on that promise, one article of clothing at a time. But you know what could help music? When the music starts, we begin to move our bodies to the music in a sort of dance. While the idea of Hide and Brady stripping is exciting, I was even more excited for my meeting with my angel investor. I'm at the coffee shop right now, sitting across from him. As usual, he was in disguise as TV's Delightful ted Lasso. So what do you think of my piece so far? It's just a rough draft. Okay, I have a lot of notes. Next time on Brewster High. What if his name was Luke skywriter is your secret investor. Some of us players will want to have sex afterwards, so hang out by the locker room if you're looking for that sort of thing. Every time I meet with him, he's in a ted Lasso costume. Nice triceps. Oh yeah, you otis are the working out. Something you can grind to, like Drede or Ed Sheeran or Adele When you're doing jumping jacks, it'll make your penises really flop around. This episode of Brewster High was written by Celess Ballard and Laura McGuire and Carry O'Neil and Gilly the Scene and Jonathan Stern, and directed by Jonathan Stern. It was performed by Lelon Bowden, Jordan Dahl, Ali Gandor, Jared Goldstein, Greg Hess, Peter Kim, Mike McCafferty, Veronica or Sorio, Shakira, Janet Pay, Marcus Fray, Anna Saragina Sager, Shake, Amy Silverberg, and Morgan Walsh. Executive produced by Keith Quinn and Jonathan Stern. Produced by Frannie Baldwin, Jack brongardt, Natalie Gurgley and Dave Salinger. Music by Mac Novac, Greg Martin and Alison Newman. The supervising sound editor was Julie Diaz and the sound editor was Jack D. Crane. Mixed by Brent Kaiser Sound Design and mixed at Unbridled Sound. Brewster High was a production of abominable pictures and honorable mention for I Heart Media. If you like the way I read these credits, consider me to DJ your next wedding or bar mitzvah.