Hey, it's Roy Wood Jr. Up Next is a special presentation of the Daily Show podcast Beyond the Scenes, where we go a little deeper into segments that originally aired on the show. In this episode, I sit down with Daily Show corresponded Daisylid, Daily Show Segment Director Sarah Hamblin, and U S Senator Patty Murray to discuss childcare's impact on the economy, the challenges of being a working mother, and how dealing with toddlers can prepare anyone for a job in Congress. I got a six year old. I need to run play the episode. Welcome to Beyond the Scenes, the Daily Show podcast that goes a little deeper into the segments and topics that originally aired on the show. This this is what this podcast is. We're basically the toy at the bottom of the box of cereal. You know, you get some crunch berries and then you know, you almost eat the toy because it's right there in the bowl and it's it's like a little car or some hologram sticker or decoding a Dacoda ring. That's what we do. Dig to the bottom and we help you decode the Daily Show. Today we're going to be decoding a piece that aired on the show back in April one. It's about how the pandemic disproportionately affected women in the workplace. Here's the clip. The COVID nineteen pandemic has ravaged the US economy with millions out of work, and much like underwire and microblading, it's disproportionately hurting women. Economist Olga Sharkoff told me why. Since the February about two and a half million women left the workforce. Two and a half million. That's right, wasn't that job loss of Wow? Even when it comes to unemployment, women are overachieving. For decades, women have been chipping away at the glass ceiling, joining the labor force in greater numbers with each year until the pandemic, which has reduced the percentage of working women to ninet levels. The question is why is this happening? Johnny us. To help go beyond the scenes on this issue is Daily Show segment director Sarah Hamblin and Daily Show correspondent Dasy Like, how are you two ladies doing today? A wonderful, wonderful, wonderful day to you, wonderful day to you, Roy you as well. I just want to thank you for allowing me, as a man to even be in your space for all the wonderful things you were doing. Four women. Well, we'll smudge it afterwards with some stage. Some stage we'll stage. We'll stage it. Even though it's still remote. We still got a stage remote, fair enough, mercuries and retrograde, so anything can happen. Also joining us from the great state of Washington. She's a senator who's been working on this issue since she first ran for office. Senator Patty Murray. First off, thank you for coming on. Thank you to all of the wonderful ladies being a part of this, because as a man, I am extremely underqualified to even be talking about this all the table. Why are women leaving the workforce? They say that the issue, uh, well, one of the many issues is affordable childcare. Can you run us through some of the issues that working parents are facing right now? Well, working parents for a very long time, long before the pandemic, struggled with how do I go to work and make sure my kids are okay, they're safe and I can focus on my work. But it was sort of a silent epidemic because you didn't want to complain about it or you were feared losing your job. But the pandemic really ripped this wide open when all of a sudden, childcare facilities themselves as rare as they were shut down because they couldn't provide childcare for fewer people who were there, and they had all of a sudden do the same thing everybody else did. They had to wipe everything down. They had a fewer kids there, they couldn't afford to do it, their staff couldn't show up, and it just made this whole epidemic of lack of childcare in this country visible to every one. Meanwhile, if you were a nursing had to be at work, if you were a essential worker of any kind of had to be at work. You didn't a place to send your kids. So now we're as we come out of this pandemic, hopefully people want to go back to work, there are no child care facilities for them to go to. We have huge childcare deserts in this country and the cost is overwhelming. So this has become finely an open topic in this country that we recognize we have to deal with. Daisy, if I'm not mistaken, you were pregnant right when you started the daily show. Yes, yes, I was not just eating too many burritos, although I was also eating too many burritos. Oh my goodness, gras and and and I don't know if we've ever talked about this as fellow correspondence. Was there ever a feeling that your pregnancy would have been a hindrance to you potentially getting this job? Absolutely? Absolutely. The Daily Show was a dream job, a total dream of mine for for many, many years. And I auditioned for the show a couple of times, and when I put my tape together this last time, I was not pregnant. I just gotten married and we were kind of in the beginning stages of talking about it. But by the time I got the call to fly to New York and meet Trevor, I was pregnant. I was four months pregnant. And I remember having the conversation with my husband, with my agent, my manager at the time, going like, can can I and should I bring this up? I mean, do I owe anyone this information? It's you know, it's that's up for discussion. And when it came down to it, at the end of the day, I was going to be showing up on day one, six months pregnant, on camera and I thought, you know, I'm just I'm going to let them know because it's just the honest truth. And fortunately for me, Jen Flans, our executive producer, and the whole team was like, great, wonderful. You can use it, you can not use it for comedy whatever you want, and um, and that was really freeing and that's the way it should be. But it's just often not. Senator, how do we fix these issues that the parents are facing? Like is that because this seems to be you know, there's a lot of issues with just the economics of this. Is it a government issue or is it individual employers doing what they need to do to try well. For a long time in this country, it's just been your on your own, you know, you deal with your own kids. We're not going to deal with them. We found out that did not work because women can't be at work or they're worried about their kids, or kids are in unsafe places. And as we see right now, um, it's hurting our whole economy. So this has to be something we have to all be in for. And that's what we are working towards right now, passing legislation to first of all, we got to build childcare centers. There just isn't enough. We can't just say okay, everybody can go to and go get it now government program, Well there's nowhere to go. So first we have to invest in building childcare systems through UM, through government support UM to build them, and then we have to make sure people can afford them, and we have are going to implement that hopefully if we can get this past by looking at what people can afford and what they cannot afford, especially lower income or middle income women, by having a federal subsidy to make sure that they can afford it. You've been working on childcare since the nineties, like over time like would have been some changes to the conversation around working parents centator. Well, first of all, I really identified with what Desi said when she said she had to decide with it. You can tell anybody she is pregnant, let alone have a child, and you need childcare. It's what every woman goes through. Were conversely not not to cut you off, but conversely I found out a bunth later after being hired at the baby Show that I had a child on the way and I just want to chavor hey man, baby's coming anyway, what's next? Yeah? Well, and let me tell you when I decided to run for the Senate back in US Senate back, I brought some people to my house to convince them why I was the right person to do this, and they all listen politely, and this gentleman looks at me and he goes, what are you going to do with the bambinos? And my first reaction is a bambinos. I don't have any bambinos, oh my kids. And my second reaction was do you ask men this question who are running from public office? And my third was my actual response that came out of my mouth, which is, that's exactly why I'm running for the Senate because just like every woman who works in a grocery store, we need to have childcare for people in this country so that they can go do the jobs they that we need them to do. Sarah, how much of a concern has it been for you? Because I guess there's it's kind of twofold, because there is I'm having a baby on the way into getting a job, versus I'm already on this job and deciding when to start a family. During your tenure on the daily show you have welcomed a wonderful, wonderful, lovely child. How much did the considerations of work way into when to start your family between you and your husband. Yeah, I mean that was a big question for us, um and I think it's stressful as a woman. I think also, you know, I want to say, the entertainment industry can be very sexist, and so there's just a lot of fears of taking that time to have a baby, hitting that pause on career. I have a lot of female friends and entertainment who had a baby and then kind of came back to a job that was like two three runs down the ladder or they just couldn't get back into the industry. And I think, you know, for us, I mean, I remember when we started talking about it, when I eventually was pregnant, I was not telling anyone, and then I told Jen flanns our executive producer, because I was um potentially doing another outside project and I was worried about, okay, if if they allow me to have time off for that, And then I'm like surprised, I'm going to need more time off in six months? Am I going to get in trouble? Am I going to seem like a bad worker, and it's crazy. You know, generally a lot of people want to have kids, and you shouldn't feel like you have to choose. But there is a fear of, you know, not being taken seriously and not being able to have opportunities as a woman when you have a child. Senator, I know have time with you as limited. So I want to I want to end real quick with two questions for you here. Number one, outside of childcare, what are some of the other issues that are affecting women in the workplace? And what can employers do Until the government can do what they need to do, What can employers do to help fix some of those issues. Well, first of all, they can tell Congress to get the job done and have an economy in this country that actually works for women and men to participate in. You shouldn't have to say can I ask for this job in the future, Can I get a promotion because I have kids? I will shure you. Men don't think that way, but women have to because we are the caregivers more often than not. So we need employers standing up. We need businesses standing up and saying I need a workforce, I need to be able to have a child care system we can rely on, and that's what our country is about. We need you to take action. The other issue that's so important that you kind of just heard about was family leave. It shouldn't be a question of whether you can take time off and it might hurt your career, or it might hurt a promotion, or you might not be as good as the person next to you. If you decide to have a kid, it should be Oh, that's great for our country, that's great for our economy, that's great for our your family, what can we do to support that? And every other industrializing has family and medical leaves, so you can take that time off, you can focus on what you need to do and come back to a career that helps you support your family and really helps our country be successful. So you know, those are the two quick policies that I would say are most important. And again, what businesses need to do is stand up and quit saying it's their problem. It's businesses problem. They cannot survive if we don't have women in the workforce today. It hurts everybody. Can I sneak in and just ask a quick question. I feel like we're talking about the problems of this. But I feel like as a mother, you do kind of get some superpowers in terms of learning about negotiation, learning about people's you know, how to work with people who are maybe at task. I would just love to hear just personally what your experience as a parent those superpowers and how that's helped you in the US Senate, which is I'm sure filled with character. Well, and not only was my parent, but as a preschool teacher, so I learned to deal with bullies a long time ago. Um. But but I also learned you can't just inject your own personality on somebody and that they react. Well, you actually have to sit back and listen what is it my child is actually saying to me? What do they really want? And how can I have us both be winners and come out of this without a tantrum? Um. And so I use those skills all the time and trying to pass legislation and get things done and listen to other people and uh and respect other people. I think that that's been really important. And I learned how to deal with stuff happening in the background, just like all of you do. Um. I mean I remember one time I'll just share quickly. Um. I was in the Senate and UM. I was on the phone at home with my daughter, who was quite young, UM, with the governor of our state with this really critical conversation. I was trying to talk him into something and uh, and my daughter is pulling on my jacket and you know, just doing this whole routine under my arm and um. And finally she walked away and she came back like three minutes later with this little note. And she was young, and it was essay M p U K T. And I'm trying to read it. Talk to the governor, focus on what I'm doing. Sam was our dog, Sam pute And I'm totally lost my focus with the governor trying to think of what mess was out there. I mean, you know, this is how this is what you do as a legislator. You know, stuff happening all over and you have to be able to kind of deal with it, um and move forward. So yeah, I've learned a lot by being a parent. So is every parent. Well I hope Sam is okay. Senator Patty Murray, it was more like my living room rug. But stay never came out. We'll send you on as a thank you for going beyond the scenes with us. Just let us know the dimensions. Whatever you need, does he put it on your card center, Patty Murray, you got it. Thank you for going beyond the scenes with us. Thank you, take care, Thank you, Senator. After the break, Sarah DESI, we're going to talk more about how you all put this piece together, and I'm just going to sit back as a man and enjoy and learn before we dig into how you all came about creating this piece. I do want to say thank you one more time to Senator Patty Murray for giving us a little bit of her time. And I have to compliment she had one of them. It was it just me? Or does she have one of them official get some ship done chairs in her office? That high back leather. It looks like a judge chair, but it's in an office. You can't be online shopping in that chair. You're like really getting ship done. See. I could never have a chair like that because then I wouldn't be able to get away with all the nonsense that I sit in doo in my office. Yeah, I have to sit in the eighty dollar ergonomic from Staples, and it makes me feel I can do other things with my life, Sarah. I'll start with you just on the piece in general. You know, we've talked about this before on the podcast. Just and how so many different people in the building can pour into a creative pot to create the mold of what the story will eventually be when it goes out the door. How did this story walk me through the early German nation of this piece? Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. UM, so it's funny. It actually came from UH my virtual mom group because I had a baby during COVID and so I didn't have like a real life mom group. I have a WhatsApp group of moms that I um talked to, and one of the moms posted this article about UH scientists who was studying COVID in UM and she was studying infectious disease in incarcerated populations, and she was a medical doctor and she had to stop working to take care of her kids. The pandemic is one of the reasons that I just needed to step back from my research. We lost childcare for several months. Um. Sorry, I can't. I couldn't quite hear. There was a bit of a lego something in the background. Um, that's my three year old sons with a Lego trade card. So sorry, Hold, I know it's it's my I think it's My background is that the trash compactor. My research has been focused on infectious disease and incarcerated populations, and so I was looking at sort of how can we improved testing and support for these individuals who are very vulnerable to getting infected. So you were researching COVID and you had to take a step back. Yeah, I mean it was a very difficult decision. God, think of all that you could have accomplished in this past year if you had full time COVID safe child care, like I know, for me, I just know I would have been able to finish my one woman show from Home Home Alton. My whole life is in this room where it happens. This room where it happens, This room where it happens. Yeah, Art is import It was just such a shocking story to me like that. You know, not only are women leaving the workforce, but here's this woman who is uh an infectious disease researcher and a medical doctor, two things we really need right now in this pandemic. And you know she can't do her job because she has to do childcare. And I felt like, you know, that story just really resonated because women were just so in between a rock and a hard place in terms of how to handle childcare in this pandemic, and it didn't feel like there was a lot of outside support. And I think like when we were talking about this story and how to tell this story, there's not like a clear bad guy. There's not some boogeyman. There's not some easy solution. But I think one solution was just bringing some awareness so women who were going through this didn't have to feel so terrible and isolated. And also, um, and I should say not just women people. I mean there are plenty of you know, caregivers who don't identify or aren't women. Um, but just wanting to just wanting people to feel a little less alone, and also for the people who aren't going through this to be like, hey, stop getting mad at your employee for having their kids in the background. They have to and you're lucky that we're right now and people getting ridden up. At least, That's what I wanted to tell Trevor. Yeah, DESI what was the segment? And I know your child has walked in a couple of times. My son is finally at the age where he sees the camera in the tripod and he goes, oh my god, and he'll just come in and negotiate snacks like my son is smart. Knock, he knows hey, Like as soon as I'm setting up the tripod, he just goes snacks. Like, Yeah, a mob boss, that's what That's what you're hit at towards Sarah. Just a little mob boss walking in your rooms. Be a shame as somebody messed up your shot. How about a lollipop? Yeah, yeah, my kid too. He goes like, oh, mommy's doing bits again. Can I have candy? Can I have candy? Can I have candy? Until I just give up and say yes every time. Even women who are still working are experiencing sort of hidden burdens that they're doing this dual role. They no, no, you can't have a snack. You just can't have a snack. They have to work and at the same time take care of their children. What is your experience been, Daisy when the story was brought to you, was it like an instant light bulb of like, yes, this is exactly what people need to know. Because Sarah's right, this isn't a piece with a clear cut here's the person or thing preventing the solution from happening, the systemic, layered ass issues. So Sarah sees that in the mom's group, she types up the pitch and the email. You read it, what are your thoughts? I'm just like, oh, great, this is the this will be something that I'm like dying to talk about. It's something that I'm experiencing on some lesser level to a certain extent, Sarah's experiencing. Uh and and like, at that time, we were pretty early in the pandemic, and my biggest concern was juggling my son and his online school and doing shoots and trying to manage everything at the same time. And when Sarah and I started talking about this from like a creative perspective, we were like, let's just let it roll. Let's just if we have interruptions, if the kids run in, if you have to nurse, whatever we got to do, We're just gonna let it roll. It's all staying in And it was such a relief. If we would like to see things yet better, we need institutions, policymakers to pay attention to childcare and expand access to childcare. Shoot, I had a question off of that. Actually, sorry, maybe my producer Sarah, the question of women, haven't I definitely haven't written down in here. I remember when we came up the bad question. Yeah, sorry, but yeah, you got your handsful. It's okay, Oh boy, okay, I come prepared working. It was probably like one of the more honest pieces I've ever been able to do on the show. And like Sarah said, like, this was not this is on an issue that just suddenly started during the pandemic. This has been an issue for quite some time, that childcare in this country is such a such a problem um and and that women do often shoulder the burden of juggling caretaking and the responsibilities at work. But the pandemic certainly, uh brought it to the forefront. And with our doctor that we spoke to, um Dr methel Ingham, like that that was such a crazy circumstance. We're here, she's maybe going to be the one to help us get through this pandemic and she has to put her work off to the side. Yes, sorry about that pandemic. But God peeped in the carpet, so I have to go to deal with that right now as a man, go on, I'll tell you a story and then I'll ask a question. So you all know my lovely, lovely partner, you know her, in love her. And so we were going through a period a couple of years ago. We were trying to find childcare. We were trying to find more stable childcare, and you know, you know, like, hey, we need to find some childcare. And you know, as a man, uh, I'm on it, I get it, and I'll be honest as a man, I wasn't as thorough as I needed to be in communicating, Hey, I emailed this person. And so there was a community the wires across and we were kind of starting to email and message the same people who had already said I can't do it. I'm already already have a job. And the longer it took, the more I realized just how much of her day she and I didn't know this until this is the way you after the fact, how much of her day she had spent just trying to make sure that childcare was straight, you know. And it was one of those like damn, I'm a bad man moment. But you understand that childcare is important but just even the act of finding it is a deviation from your employment and from your work and the things that she wanted to do. How can men be more open to these issues? How do we open the eyes of more men to what there to what their female colleagues at their job are going through, and especially even these senators, because it's gonna be a bunch of men voting on Senator Patty's bill. So you know, how do we open me? Because I think we are dumb. Men are dumb, and a lot of us just lack a general unawareness of all of the layers of the issues that women in the workplace deal with. So what are some things that could be done to help make men a little bit more aware, especially the non dads. I'm a dad and I still had a blind spot. Well, I mean, it's so funny hearing you say that, Like it's not just men. Like I remember, before I was a parent, I worked with a producer on a show and I was like directing segments and I would only get one prep day and she was supposed to prep me on like what I was shooting, and I would get frustrated because she would leave early, Like she would leave at like five o'clock, which isn't really early, but she had had to get home and see her kid, and I was like, this is the one day I'm in the office and you have to leave at five. Like I took it very personally, and now that I'm a parent, I'm just like, oh my god, Aaron, I'm so so. I was always nice. I mean I was never It was more of a resentment that I had than like really saying anything. But now I totally get it, Like people should be able to get off work at five. And I do feel like in terms of educating men, I hope that the pandemic and so many you know fathers and parents who are the primary way journer, you know them working from home, They've been able to see a little bit more behind the scenes and see like how much work actually goes into childcare because we really don't value the contribution, especially of like stay at home parents, but also you know, part time working parents, parents working from home, like it's hard, and having the support from your employer, um, not just the government, but your employer in terms of having parental leave, uh and calling it parentally if not necessarily a maternity paternity to encourage fathers to take the same amount of time off it or to kind of equalize the amount of time that they're spending at home with the children. The more men are encouraged to take that family time, that care caregiving time, the better off we all are, the more levels the playing field all around. That being said, Roy, I have seen you father, and you are a very good father. You're extremely involved. I know you take on a lot of a lot of those duties. Yeah, but I'm still blind to the fact that sometimes it takes all day to find childcare and you have to deviate from a couple of conference calls because you're meeting babysittings. And that's some stuff that I could have done because I was in my office plane PlayStation with Ronnie Chank. You can be very convincing. That is a true story, very convincing. The manage the managing of the household is know it is it is. It goes beyond like uh, you know, picking up toilet paper on the way home from work or you know, signing a permission slip, But really is the managing of the household duties takes a lot of time. So so the more you can kind of talk things out and divvy up the responsibilities, the easier it is for everybody. I spoke with a woman, Elaine Davis, and you know, she's a she does a lot of advisement, you know, to corporations and things of that nature. And Elaine mentioned something that I thought was very interesting as well, is that employers should also if it's the type of job that doesn't have to be nine to five, you physically need to be there, but you don't physically have to be there at nine, then coming up with a little more flex scheduling and giving employees the option, like where some employers now are starting to give employees, Hey, you know what, take two to three thirty, go pick up your kid, take them home, have a bonding moment. Watch Paul Patrol and I'm on back here at four o'clock and work until six instead of working until and so I think there's little things that employers could do. Uh. After the break, I want to hear what you all learn from other mothers who are also dealing with this. We've talked to the two of you. I would love to know more about what women all over the world, at least America, you know, at least New York, all right, at least Manhattan, can we do that? All right, we'll do that after the break. This is beyond the scenes, DESI and talking to other mothers. What were some of the similarities and differences in the experiences that you all have with this issue of finding decent childcare? Yeah, I think, Um, it was just a really difficult time early on in the pandemic finding any child care facilities that were open and could take children. Most of them were not open, most of them were not availing, doable, a lot of people didn't have access to them. Um. And some of my friends are our doctors and and needed to work at that time, and they were so needed. And one family, a friend of my my son's, both the mother and father were were doctors and they were desperately needed in New York City at the time, and so there were very few places where they could bring their kid in. It was just the second I was starting to get overwhelmed and stressed by the fact that I had to teach my son, you know, homeschool and maybe go off and do bits in the corner for the camera. I'm thinking about my friends who are doctors dealing with real issues, and then not only that, but like coming home and having to to protect their kids and worrying about exposure and all of that. So um, yeah, I think it was a very it was a very stressful time and it I think that at least brought this issue to the forefront um and people are starting to talk about it more now. Just hopeful, Sarah, what did the mom's group. I'm very curious about this, and I know that these private groups that the women is so my my, my partner, she's in a bunch of these groups. We call them covens. Okay, all right, I'm not sure if that's the word I would have used as a man, but fun you used it, so be it. Did you take this? I'm just I'm just asking this out of all curiosity. Did you take this segment and post it back in the group? I know the tendency and some of these internet groups is to keep work separate from the social circles and all of that stuff, But what are they buzzing about now with regards to this issue. Well, I definitely sent everyone the piece, and then I think maybe one person had time to watch it. So I didn't take that personally because now I'm also a parent, and I never have time to watch anything. Um. I think actually the big scuttle but today is in the mom group is just talking about kids getting sick. The thing that's really hard right now is if your d it has the sniffles or a fever, which is pretty much constant when you have a kid, um, they have to be out of daycare until they get a negative COVID test. And then if there's a positive COVID test, all the kids have to come out of daycare and everyone has to isolate. Or if there's a COVID case in the daycare, everybody like daycare gets closed for ten days. So I think that's been the big frustration right now, which is we have kind of gotten childcare back. There's a vaccine, there's masking, but still, you know, we're faced with these issues. Does he when you look at everything that's been going on now surrounding this issue, how much do you talk with your husband about all? Almost never? Oh sorry, you weren't done in general, or just mostly hiding on the bathroom floor just doing a nice ugly cry for a little little me time. I think you confused me with your therapy. I just want to talk about the story you did, Yes, yes, as you were. Huh know, like, how much are you all sharing with your husband's about all of this and how much are they coming to the table to help alleviate some of the stress of this? How much? How much stress can men really because you know, a mom you have concerned like you worry different from a man as well. Did I finally mess up? Right on track? Right on track? What are you worrying about? Uh? Now my husband. I feel very fortunate and that my husband is very involved in the caretaking responsibilities, almost too involved, where my son is starting to really favor him, and I get a little jealous. Uh, and I'm going to have to insert myself a little more into the situation. But we talk all the time about we We occasionally will catch ourselves having the who's taking him and who's picking him up from school conversation in front of him. And we just recently had to be like, okay, let's download on that. After he goes to bed, we'll sort it out. We'll get on the same page, and then it is what it is. There's no discussing or going back and forth, um things like that. I mean, we just try to talk about it. Constantly, and if I'm feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work that I'm doing within the house, I let him know. He does the same for me. It's it's not easy. It's a juggle when there are two full time working parents. I think part of it is also, like you know, as a mother, I know I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the one to do certain things. And that might not even be something that my husband's putting on me. It's it's generally not it's it's what I'm doing to myself and feeling guilty for not being around for certain things, and so um, that's something I'm trying to work on. I've tried that, you know. I know that there's some of that in our house. So there's a statistic from the New York Times says quote, women spend an average of four hours a day on unpaid work around the house, grocery shopping, childcare, at laundry. Men spend two and a half hours a day. And I know this to be a lie because I only spend twenty seven minutes and that's more than a lot, you know. But there is a division of labor in the intangibles and the things that aren't work related that give you the mental bandwidth. And I'll be honest, I try to be that, you know, I don't know. We kind of have a let me not speak out of turn because she's not on this podcast right now, but I feel like there's a synergy when it comes to cooking versus laundry, versus cleaning the house, versus playing with the boy when he's got the new lego set, and well, you know, like what I try to do because I'm out of town more than she is, So when I'm in town, I try to do all the ship because I know when I'm gone you have to do. Oh is that the agreement in your home? Sarah? Wait, we just experienced that. Actually, I was just doing that water pitches, the water witches piece with um Costa, and I purposely scheduled that to be as as quick as possible. It would only be thirty hours away, so it was like fly out, shoot, fly back on a red eye. And it was so tough because I got home that morning and my husband was just like exhausted because he's been taking care of this baby alone. And we had some help that was supposed to come, and everybody flaked, and so he was just doing the parenting thing twenty four hours a day, and I was exhausted because I just had this shoe back to in person, flying trying to do all the logistics. And I think it was yeah, like that day I got back and I had just flown on a red eye and I needed a nap, and Shawn was like, I need a break to go to the bathroom. Like we were. It was very hard for us to just give each other a little bit of like space, because I think we both felt like I need a break really bad. I need to sit down. And that's like the hardest thing about being a parent, Like there are no breaks. Shout out to single parents out there, by the way, Like it's so hard when you have the ability to even trade off with somebody and to be a single parent right now, it's um I can't even imagine. Yeah, no, my mom was a single parent. And we were just talking. I was just talking with Senator Murray before we started the interview. We were just talking about how I never had to clean my room, but I had to have like paths through the mess so if there was a fire, I could like get out the window or get out the door, like it's I don't know how single parents do it, and like I love my mom and I can't believe she did that. Ideally with help from the government is how they should do it. The support from the government. Single parents making fifty k or spending one third of their income on childcare, that's preposterous. And especially when you get into dealing with like toddlers and pre k's or the three and four and they have opinions and they want to talk, and you hear a noise in the other room while you're trying to do something, Like at least when you have an infant, you can just prop them up and put a couple of pillows around them. You put that baby safety pillow for it, and they don't roll off to catch Am I talking too much? I'm gonna say, you know, maybe you should hand off most of the responsibility to your partner because pillows, pillow forts. I don't know. I don't know if that's fort is a secure and stable form of childcare in the home until me a little less hands on maybe so the baby can roll over and crawl. All right, Okay, okay, we'll discuss offline. Welcome back to Beyond the Childcare, the new podcast where we debunk all of the child kid me that you believe. Well. I would love to continue this conversation, but alas we are out of time. Ladies, thank you all so much for what you do for women first and foremost. But of course you know you all are my colleagues and co workers, and I love you both, and thank you for going to beyond the scenes and and hopefully educating some men. You know, if you're a man and you're listening to this right now, text your woman and say thank you. That's it. Don't even say for what, just say thank you and call your mother. Thank you, Roy. We love you you. Roy. I was thinking about, Yeah, I need to call my mom. Everybody, all of us will get off. We'll call our mom's. Everybody watching this get off, Call your mom. She did a lot. That's all the time we have for today, but hopefully by now we've taken you beyond the scenes. H Beyond the Scenes will be back with all new episodes next week. If you want to catch up on past episodes, head over to Daily Show dot com, slash Beyond, the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're listening h

Hey, it's Roy Wood Jr. Up Next is a special presentation of the Daily Show podcast Beyond the Scenes, where we go a little deeper into segments that originally aired on the show. In this episode, I sit down with Daily Show corresponded Daisylid, Daily Show Segment Director Sarah Hamblin, and U S Senator Patty Murray to discuss childcare's impact on the economy, the challenges of being a working mother, and how dealing with toddlers can prepare anyone for a job in Congress. I got a six year old. I need to run play the episode. Welcome to Beyond the Scenes, the Daily Show podcast that goes a little deeper into the segments and topics that originally aired on the show. This this is what this podcast is. We're basically the toy at the bottom of the box of cereal. You know, you get some crunch berries and then you know, you almost eat the toy because it's right there in the bowl and it's it's like a little car or some hologram sticker or decoding a Dacoda ring. That's what we do. Dig to the bottom and we help you decode the Daily Show. Today we're going to be decoding a piece that aired on the show back in April one. It's about how the pandemic disproportionately affected women in the workplace. Here's the clip. The COVID nineteen pandemic has ravaged the US economy with millions out of work, and much like underwire and microblading, it's disproportionately hurting women. Economist Olga Sharkoff told me why. Since the February about two and a half million women left the workforce. Two and a half million. That's right, wasn't that job loss of Wow? Even when it comes to unemployment, women are overachieving. For decades, women have been chipping away at the glass ceiling, joining the labor force in greater numbers with each year until the pandemic, which has reduced the percentage of working women to ninet levels. The question is why is this happening? Johnny us. To help go beyond the scenes on this issue is Daily Show segment director Sarah Hamblin and Daily Show correspondent Dasy Like, how are you two ladies doing today? A wonderful, wonderful, wonderful day to you, wonderful day to you, Roy you as well. I just want to thank you for allowing me, as a man to even be in your space for all the wonderful things you were doing. Four women. Well, we'll smudge it afterwards with some stage. Some stage we'll stage. We'll stage it. Even though it's still remote. We still got a stage remote, fair enough, mercuries and retrograde, so anything can happen. Also joining us from the great state of Washington. She's a senator who's been working on this issue since she first ran for office. Senator Patty Murray. First off, thank you for coming on. Thank you to all of the wonderful ladies being a part of this, because as a man, I am extremely underqualified to even be talking about this all the table. Why are women leaving the workforce? They say that the issue, uh, well, one of the many issues is affordable childcare. Can you run us through some of the issues that working parents are facing right now? Well, working parents for a very long time, long before the pandemic, struggled with how do I go to work and make sure my kids are okay, they're safe and I can focus on my work. But it was sort of a silent epidemic because you didn't want to complain about it or you were feared losing your job. But the pandemic really ripped this wide open when all of a sudden, childcare facilities themselves as rare as they were shut down because they couldn't provide childcare for fewer people who were there, and they had all of a sudden do the same thing everybody else did. They had to wipe everything down. They had a fewer kids there, they couldn't afford to do it, their staff couldn't show up, and it just made this whole epidemic of lack of childcare in this country visible to every one. Meanwhile, if you were a nursing had to be at work, if you were a essential worker of any kind of had to be at work. You didn't a place to send your kids. So now we're as we come out of this pandemic, hopefully people want to go back to work, there are no child care facilities for them to go to. We have huge childcare deserts in this country and the cost is overwhelming. So this has become finely an open topic in this country that we recognize we have to deal with. Daisy, if I'm not mistaken, you were pregnant right when you started the daily show. Yes, yes, I was not just eating too many burritos, although I was also eating too many burritos. Oh my goodness, gras and and and I don't know if we've ever talked about this as fellow correspondence. Was there ever a feeling that your pregnancy would have been a hindrance to you potentially getting this job? Absolutely? Absolutely. The Daily Show was a dream job, a total dream of mine for for many, many years. And I auditioned for the show a couple of times, and when I put my tape together this last time, I was not pregnant. I just gotten married and we were kind of in the beginning stages of talking about it. But by the time I got the call to fly to New York and meet Trevor, I was pregnant. I was four months pregnant. And I remember having the conversation with my husband, with my agent, my manager at the time, going like, can can I and should I bring this up? I mean, do I owe anyone this information? It's you know, it's that's up for discussion. And when it came down to it, at the end of the day, I was going to be showing up on day one, six months pregnant, on camera and I thought, you know, I'm just I'm going to let them know because it's just the honest truth. And fortunately for me, Jen Flans, our executive producer, and the whole team was like, great, wonderful. You can use it, you can not use it for comedy whatever you want, and um, and that was really freeing and that's the way it should be. But it's just often not. Senator, how do we fix these issues that the parents are facing? Like is that because this seems to be you know, there's a lot of issues with just the economics of this. Is it a government issue or is it individual employers doing what they need to do to try well. For a long time in this country, it's just been your on your own, you know, you deal with your own kids. We're not going to deal with them. We found out that did not work because women can't be at work or they're worried about their kids, or kids are in unsafe places. And as we see right now, um, it's hurting our whole economy. So this has to be something we have to all be in for. And that's what we are working towards right now, passing legislation to first of all, we got to build childcare centers. There just isn't enough. We can't just say okay, everybody can go to and go get it now government program, Well there's nowhere to go. So first we have to invest in building childcare systems through UM, through government support UM to build them, and then we have to make sure people can afford them, and we have are going to implement that hopefully if we can get this past by looking at what people can afford and what they cannot afford, especially lower income or middle income women, by having a federal subsidy to make sure that they can afford it. You've been working on childcare since the nineties, like over time like would have been some changes to the conversation around working parents centator. Well, first of all, I really identified with what Desi said when she said she had to decide with it. You can tell anybody she is pregnant, let alone have a child, and you need childcare. It's what every woman goes through. Were conversely not not to cut you off, but conversely I found out a bunth later after being hired at the baby Show that I had a child on the way and I just want to chavor hey man, baby's coming anyway, what's next? Yeah? Well, and let me tell you when I decided to run for the Senate back in US Senate back, I brought some people to my house to convince them why I was the right person to do this, and they all listen politely, and this gentleman looks at me and he goes, what are you going to do with the bambinos? And my first reaction is a bambinos. I don't have any bambinos, oh my kids. And my second reaction was do you ask men this question who are running from public office? And my third was my actual response that came out of my mouth, which is, that's exactly why I'm running for the Senate because just like every woman who works in a grocery store, we need to have childcare for people in this country so that they can go do the jobs they that we need them to do. Sarah, how much of a concern has it been for you? Because I guess there's it's kind of twofold, because there is I'm having a baby on the way into getting a job, versus I'm already on this job and deciding when to start a family. During your tenure on the daily show you have welcomed a wonderful, wonderful, lovely child. How much did the considerations of work way into when to start your family between you and your husband. Yeah, I mean that was a big question for us, um and I think it's stressful as a woman. I think also, you know, I want to say, the entertainment industry can be very sexist, and so there's just a lot of fears of taking that time to have a baby, hitting that pause on career. I have a lot of female friends and entertainment who had a baby and then kind of came back to a job that was like two three runs down the ladder or they just couldn't get back into the industry. And I think, you know, for us, I mean, I remember when we started talking about it, when I eventually was pregnant, I was not telling anyone, and then I told Jen flanns our executive producer, because I was um potentially doing another outside project and I was worried about, okay, if if they allow me to have time off for that, And then I'm like surprised, I'm going to need more time off in six months? Am I going to get in trouble? Am I going to seem like a bad worker, and it's crazy. You know, generally a lot of people want to have kids, and you shouldn't feel like you have to choose. But there is a fear of, you know, not being taken seriously and not being able to have opportunities as a woman when you have a child. Senator, I know have time with you as limited. So I want to I want to end real quick with two questions for you here. Number one, outside of childcare, what are some of the other issues that are affecting women in the workplace? And what can employers do Until the government can do what they need to do, What can employers do to help fix some of those issues. Well, first of all, they can tell Congress to get the job done and have an economy in this country that actually works for women and men to participate in. You shouldn't have to say can I ask for this job in the future, Can I get a promotion because I have kids? I will shure you. Men don't think that way, but women have to because we are the caregivers more often than not. So we need employers standing up. We need businesses standing up and saying I need a workforce, I need to be able to have a child care system we can rely on, and that's what our country is about. We need you to take action. The other issue that's so important that you kind of just heard about was family leave. It shouldn't be a question of whether you can take time off and it might hurt your career, or it might hurt a promotion, or you might not be as good as the person next to you. If you decide to have a kid, it should be Oh, that's great for our country, that's great for our economy, that's great for our your family, what can we do to support that? And every other industrializing has family and medical leaves, so you can take that time off, you can focus on what you need to do and come back to a career that helps you support your family and really helps our country be successful. So you know, those are the two quick policies that I would say are most important. And again, what businesses need to do is stand up and quit saying it's their problem. It's businesses problem. They cannot survive if we don't have women in the workforce today. It hurts everybody. Can I sneak in and just ask a quick question. I feel like we're talking about the problems of this. But I feel like as a mother, you do kind of get some superpowers in terms of learning about negotiation, learning about people's you know, how to work with people who are maybe at task. I would just love to hear just personally what your experience as a parent those superpowers and how that's helped you in the US Senate, which is I'm sure filled with character. Well, and not only was my parent, but as a preschool teacher, so I learned to deal with bullies a long time ago. Um. But but I also learned you can't just inject your own personality on somebody and that they react. Well, you actually have to sit back and listen what is it my child is actually saying to me? What do they really want? And how can I have us both be winners and come out of this without a tantrum? Um. And so I use those skills all the time and trying to pass legislation and get things done and listen to other people and uh and respect other people. I think that that's been really important. And I learned how to deal with stuff happening in the background, just like all of you do. Um. I mean I remember one time I'll just share quickly. Um. I was in the Senate and UM. I was on the phone at home with my daughter, who was quite young, UM, with the governor of our state with this really critical conversation. I was trying to talk him into something and uh, and my daughter is pulling on my jacket and you know, just doing this whole routine under my arm and um. And finally she walked away and she came back like three minutes later with this little note. And she was young, and it was essay M p U K T. And I'm trying to read it. Talk to the governor, focus on what I'm doing. Sam was our dog, Sam pute And I'm totally lost my focus with the governor trying to think of what mess was out there. I mean, you know, this is how this is what you do as a legislator. You know, stuff happening all over and you have to be able to kind of deal with it, um and move forward. So yeah, I've learned a lot by being a parent. So is every parent. Well I hope Sam is okay. Senator Patty Murray, it was more like my living room rug. But stay never came out. We'll send you on as a thank you for going beyond the scenes with us. Just let us know the dimensions. Whatever you need, does he put it on your card center, Patty Murray, you got it. Thank you for going beyond the scenes with us. Thank you, take care, Thank you, Senator. After the break, Sarah DESI, we're going to talk more about how you all put this piece together, and I'm just going to sit back as a man and enjoy and learn before we dig into how you all came about creating this piece. I do want to say thank you one more time to Senator Patty Murray for giving us a little bit of her time. And I have to compliment she had one of them. It was it just me? Or does she have one of them official get some ship done chairs in her office? That high back leather. It looks like a judge chair, but it's in an office. You can't be online shopping in that chair. You're like really getting ship done. See. I could never have a chair like that because then I wouldn't be able to get away with all the nonsense that I sit in doo in my office. Yeah, I have to sit in the eighty dollar ergonomic from Staples, and it makes me feel I can do other things with my life, Sarah. I'll start with you just on the piece in general. You know, we've talked about this before on the podcast. Just and how so many different people in the building can pour into a creative pot to create the mold of what the story will eventually be when it goes out the door. How did this story walk me through the early German nation of this piece? Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. UM, so it's funny. It actually came from UH my virtual mom group because I had a baby during COVID and so I didn't have like a real life mom group. I have a WhatsApp group of moms that I um talked to, and one of the moms posted this article about UH scientists who was studying COVID in UM and she was studying infectious disease in incarcerated populations, and she was a medical doctor and she had to stop working to take care of her kids. The pandemic is one of the reasons that I just needed to step back from my research. We lost childcare for several months. Um. Sorry, I can't. I couldn't quite hear. There was a bit of a lego something in the background. Um, that's my three year old sons with a Lego trade card. So sorry, Hold, I know it's it's my I think it's My background is that the trash compactor. My research has been focused on infectious disease and incarcerated populations, and so I was looking at sort of how can we improved testing and support for these individuals who are very vulnerable to getting infected. So you were researching COVID and you had to take a step back. Yeah, I mean it was a very difficult decision. God, think of all that you could have accomplished in this past year if you had full time COVID safe child care, like I know, for me, I just know I would have been able to finish my one woman show from Home Home Alton. My whole life is in this room where it happens. This room where it happens, This room where it happens. Yeah, Art is import It was just such a shocking story to me like that. You know, not only are women leaving the workforce, but here's this woman who is uh an infectious disease researcher and a medical doctor, two things we really need right now in this pandemic. And you know she can't do her job because she has to do childcare. And I felt like, you know, that story just really resonated because women were just so in between a rock and a hard place in terms of how to handle childcare in this pandemic, and it didn't feel like there was a lot of outside support. And I think like when we were talking about this story and how to tell this story, there's not like a clear bad guy. There's not some boogeyman. There's not some easy solution. But I think one solution was just bringing some awareness so women who were going through this didn't have to feel so terrible and isolated. And also, um, and I should say not just women people. I mean there are plenty of you know, caregivers who don't identify or aren't women. Um, but just wanting to just wanting people to feel a little less alone, and also for the people who aren't going through this to be like, hey, stop getting mad at your employee for having their kids in the background. They have to and you're lucky that we're right now and people getting ridden up. At least, That's what I wanted to tell Trevor. Yeah, DESI what was the segment? And I know your child has walked in a couple of times. My son is finally at the age where he sees the camera in the tripod and he goes, oh my god, and he'll just come in and negotiate snacks like my son is smart. Knock, he knows hey, Like as soon as I'm setting up the tripod, he just goes snacks. Like, Yeah, a mob boss, that's what That's what you're hit at towards Sarah. Just a little mob boss walking in your rooms. Be a shame as somebody messed up your shot. How about a lollipop? Yeah, yeah, my kid too. He goes like, oh, mommy's doing bits again. Can I have candy? Can I have candy? Can I have candy? Until I just give up and say yes every time. Even women who are still working are experiencing sort of hidden burdens that they're doing this dual role. They no, no, you can't have a snack. You just can't have a snack. They have to work and at the same time take care of their children. What is your experience been, Daisy when the story was brought to you, was it like an instant light bulb of like, yes, this is exactly what people need to know. Because Sarah's right, this isn't a piece with a clear cut here's the person or thing preventing the solution from happening, the systemic, layered ass issues. So Sarah sees that in the mom's group, she types up the pitch and the email. You read it, what are your thoughts? I'm just like, oh, great, this is the this will be something that I'm like dying to talk about. It's something that I'm experiencing on some lesser level to a certain extent, Sarah's experiencing. Uh and and like, at that time, we were pretty early in the pandemic, and my biggest concern was juggling my son and his online school and doing shoots and trying to manage everything at the same time. And when Sarah and I started talking about this from like a creative perspective, we were like, let's just let it roll. Let's just if we have interruptions, if the kids run in, if you have to nurse, whatever we got to do, We're just gonna let it roll. It's all staying in And it was such a relief. If we would like to see things yet better, we need institutions, policymakers to pay attention to childcare and expand access to childcare. Shoot, I had a question off of that. Actually, sorry, maybe my producer Sarah, the question of women, haven't I definitely haven't written down in here. I remember when we came up the bad question. Yeah, sorry, but yeah, you got your handsful. It's okay, Oh boy, okay, I come prepared working. It was probably like one of the more honest pieces I've ever been able to do on the show. And like Sarah said, like, this was not this is on an issue that just suddenly started during the pandemic. This has been an issue for quite some time, that childcare in this country is such a such a problem um and and that women do often shoulder the burden of juggling caretaking and the responsibilities at work. But the pandemic certainly, uh brought it to the forefront. And with our doctor that we spoke to, um Dr methel Ingham, like that that was such a crazy circumstance. We're here, she's maybe going to be the one to help us get through this pandemic and she has to put her work off to the side. Yes, sorry about that pandemic. But God peeped in the carpet, so I have to go to deal with that right now as a man, go on, I'll tell you a story and then I'll ask a question. So you all know my lovely, lovely partner, you know her, in love her. And so we were going through a period a couple of years ago. We were trying to find childcare. We were trying to find more stable childcare, and you know, you know, like, hey, we need to find some childcare. And you know, as a man, uh, I'm on it, I get it, and I'll be honest as a man, I wasn't as thorough as I needed to be in communicating, Hey, I emailed this person. And so there was a community the wires across and we were kind of starting to email and message the same people who had already said I can't do it. I'm already already have a job. And the longer it took, the more I realized just how much of her day she and I didn't know this until this is the way you after the fact, how much of her day she had spent just trying to make sure that childcare was straight, you know. And it was one of those like damn, I'm a bad man moment. But you understand that childcare is important but just even the act of finding it is a deviation from your employment and from your work and the things that she wanted to do. How can men be more open to these issues? How do we open the eyes of more men to what there to what their female colleagues at their job are going through, and especially even these senators, because it's gonna be a bunch of men voting on Senator Patty's bill. So you know, how do we open me? Because I think we are dumb. Men are dumb, and a lot of us just lack a general unawareness of all of the layers of the issues that women in the workplace deal with. So what are some things that could be done to help make men a little bit more aware, especially the non dads. I'm a dad and I still had a blind spot. Well, I mean, it's so funny hearing you say that, Like it's not just men. Like I remember, before I was a parent, I worked with a producer on a show and I was like directing segments and I would only get one prep day and she was supposed to prep me on like what I was shooting, and I would get frustrated because she would leave early, Like she would leave at like five o'clock, which isn't really early, but she had had to get home and see her kid, and I was like, this is the one day I'm in the office and you have to leave at five. Like I took it very personally, and now that I'm a parent, I'm just like, oh my god, Aaron, I'm so so. I was always nice. I mean I was never It was more of a resentment that I had than like really saying anything. But now I totally get it, Like people should be able to get off work at five. And I do feel like in terms of educating men, I hope that the pandemic and so many you know fathers and parents who are the primary way journer, you know them working from home, They've been able to see a little bit more behind the scenes and see like how much work actually goes into childcare because we really don't value the contribution, especially of like stay at home parents, but also you know, part time working parents, parents working from home, like it's hard, and having the support from your employer, um, not just the government, but your employer in terms of having parental leave, uh and calling it parentally if not necessarily a maternity paternity to encourage fathers to take the same amount of time off it or to kind of equalize the amount of time that they're spending at home with the children. The more men are encouraged to take that family time, that care caregiving time, the better off we all are, the more levels the playing field all around. That being said, Roy, I have seen you father, and you are a very good father. You're extremely involved. I know you take on a lot of a lot of those duties. Yeah, but I'm still blind to the fact that sometimes it takes all day to find childcare and you have to deviate from a couple of conference calls because you're meeting babysittings. And that's some stuff that I could have done because I was in my office plane PlayStation with Ronnie Chank. You can be very convincing. That is a true story, very convincing. The manage the managing of the household is know it is it is. It goes beyond like uh, you know, picking up toilet paper on the way home from work or you know, signing a permission slip, But really is the managing of the household duties takes a lot of time. So so the more you can kind of talk things out and divvy up the responsibilities, the easier it is for everybody. I spoke with a woman, Elaine Davis, and you know, she's a she does a lot of advisement, you know, to corporations and things of that nature. And Elaine mentioned something that I thought was very interesting as well, is that employers should also if it's the type of job that doesn't have to be nine to five, you physically need to be there, but you don't physically have to be there at nine, then coming up with a little more flex scheduling and giving employees the option, like where some employers now are starting to give employees, Hey, you know what, take two to three thirty, go pick up your kid, take them home, have a bonding moment. Watch Paul Patrol and I'm on back here at four o'clock and work until six instead of working until and so I think there's little things that employers could do. Uh. After the break, I want to hear what you all learn from other mothers who are also dealing with this. We've talked to the two of you. I would love to know more about what women all over the world, at least America, you know, at least New York, all right, at least Manhattan, can we do that? All right, we'll do that after the break. This is beyond the scenes, DESI and talking to other mothers. What were some of the similarities and differences in the experiences that you all have with this issue of finding decent childcare? Yeah, I think, Um, it was just a really difficult time early on in the pandemic finding any child care facilities that were open and could take children. Most of them were not open, most of them were not availing, doable, a lot of people didn't have access to them. Um. And some of my friends are our doctors and and needed to work at that time, and they were so needed. And one family, a friend of my my son's, both the mother and father were were doctors and they were desperately needed in New York City at the time, and so there were very few places where they could bring their kid in. It was just the second I was starting to get overwhelmed and stressed by the fact that I had to teach my son, you know, homeschool and maybe go off and do bits in the corner for the camera. I'm thinking about my friends who are doctors dealing with real issues, and then not only that, but like coming home and having to to protect their kids and worrying about exposure and all of that. So um, yeah, I think it was a very it was a very stressful time and it I think that at least brought this issue to the forefront um and people are starting to talk about it more now. Just hopeful, Sarah, what did the mom's group. I'm very curious about this, and I know that these private groups that the women is so my my, my partner, she's in a bunch of these groups. We call them covens. Okay, all right, I'm not sure if that's the word I would have used as a man, but fun you used it, so be it. Did you take this? I'm just I'm just asking this out of all curiosity. Did you take this segment and post it back in the group? I know the tendency and some of these internet groups is to keep work separate from the social circles and all of that stuff, But what are they buzzing about now with regards to this issue. Well, I definitely sent everyone the piece, and then I think maybe one person had time to watch it. So I didn't take that personally because now I'm also a parent, and I never have time to watch anything. Um. I think actually the big scuttle but today is in the mom group is just talking about kids getting sick. The thing that's really hard right now is if your d it has the sniffles or a fever, which is pretty much constant when you have a kid, um, they have to be out of daycare until they get a negative COVID test. And then if there's a positive COVID test, all the kids have to come out of daycare and everyone has to isolate. Or if there's a COVID case in the daycare, everybody like daycare gets closed for ten days. So I think that's been the big frustration right now, which is we have kind of gotten childcare back. There's a vaccine, there's masking, but still, you know, we're faced with these issues. Does he when you look at everything that's been going on now surrounding this issue, how much do you talk with your husband about all? Almost never? Oh sorry, you weren't done in general, or just mostly hiding on the bathroom floor just doing a nice ugly cry for a little little me time. I think you confused me with your therapy. I just want to talk about the story you did, Yes, yes, as you were. Huh know, like, how much are you all sharing with your husband's about all of this and how much are they coming to the table to help alleviate some of the stress of this? How much? How much stress can men really because you know, a mom you have concerned like you worry different from a man as well. Did I finally mess up? Right on track? Right on track? What are you worrying about? Uh? Now my husband. I feel very fortunate and that my husband is very involved in the caretaking responsibilities, almost too involved, where my son is starting to really favor him, and I get a little jealous. Uh, and I'm going to have to insert myself a little more into the situation. But we talk all the time about we We occasionally will catch ourselves having the who's taking him and who's picking him up from school conversation in front of him. And we just recently had to be like, okay, let's download on that. After he goes to bed, we'll sort it out. We'll get on the same page, and then it is what it is. There's no discussing or going back and forth, um things like that. I mean, we just try to talk about it. Constantly, and if I'm feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work that I'm doing within the house, I let him know. He does the same for me. It's it's not easy. It's a juggle when there are two full time working parents. I think part of it is also, like you know, as a mother, I know I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the one to do certain things. And that might not even be something that my husband's putting on me. It's it's generally not it's it's what I'm doing to myself and feeling guilty for not being around for certain things, and so um, that's something I'm trying to work on. I've tried that, you know. I know that there's some of that in our house. So there's a statistic from the New York Times says quote, women spend an average of four hours a day on unpaid work around the house, grocery shopping, childcare, at laundry. Men spend two and a half hours a day. And I know this to be a lie because I only spend twenty seven minutes and that's more than a lot, you know. But there is a division of labor in the intangibles and the things that aren't work related that give you the mental bandwidth. And I'll be honest, I try to be that, you know, I don't know. We kind of have a let me not speak out of turn because she's not on this podcast right now, but I feel like there's a synergy when it comes to cooking versus laundry, versus cleaning the house, versus playing with the boy when he's got the new lego set, and well, you know, like what I try to do because I'm out of town more than she is, So when I'm in town, I try to do all the ship because I know when I'm gone you have to do. Oh is that the agreement in your home? Sarah? Wait, we just experienced that. Actually, I was just doing that water pitches, the water witches piece with um Costa, and I purposely scheduled that to be as as quick as possible. It would only be thirty hours away, so it was like fly out, shoot, fly back on a red eye. And it was so tough because I got home that morning and my husband was just like exhausted because he's been taking care of this baby alone. And we had some help that was supposed to come, and everybody flaked, and so he was just doing the parenting thing twenty four hours a day, and I was exhausted because I just had this shoe back to in person, flying trying to do all the logistics. And I think it was yeah, like that day I got back and I had just flown on a red eye and I needed a nap, and Shawn was like, I need a break to go to the bathroom. Like we were. It was very hard for us to just give each other a little bit of like space, because I think we both felt like I need a break really bad. I need to sit down. And that's like the hardest thing about being a parent, Like there are no breaks. Shout out to single parents out there, by the way, Like it's so hard when you have the ability to even trade off with somebody and to be a single parent right now, it's um I can't even imagine. Yeah, no, my mom was a single parent. And we were just talking. I was just talking with Senator Murray before we started the interview. We were just talking about how I never had to clean my room, but I had to have like paths through the mess so if there was a fire, I could like get out the window or get out the door, like it's I don't know how single parents do it, and like I love my mom and I can't believe she did that. Ideally with help from the government is how they should do it. The support from the government. Single parents making fifty k or spending one third of their income on childcare, that's preposterous. And especially when you get into dealing with like toddlers and pre k's or the three and four and they have opinions and they want to talk, and you hear a noise in the other room while you're trying to do something, Like at least when you have an infant, you can just prop them up and put a couple of pillows around them. You put that baby safety pillow for it, and they don't roll off to catch Am I talking too much? I'm gonna say, you know, maybe you should hand off most of the responsibility to your partner because pillows, pillow forts. I don't know. I don't know if that's fort is a secure and stable form of childcare in the home until me a little less hands on maybe so the baby can roll over and crawl. All right, Okay, okay, we'll discuss offline. Welcome back to Beyond the Childcare, the new podcast where we debunk all of the child kid me that you believe. Well. I would love to continue this conversation, but alas we are out of time. Ladies, thank you all so much for what you do for women first and foremost. But of course you know you all are my colleagues and co workers, and I love you both, and thank you for going to beyond the scenes and and hopefully educating some men. You know, if you're a man and you're listening to this right now, text your woman and say thank you. That's it. Don't even say for what, just say thank you and call your mother. Thank you, Roy. We love you you. Roy. I was thinking about, Yeah, I need to call my mom. Everybody, all of us will get off. We'll call our mom's. Everybody watching this get off, Call your mom. She did a lot. That's all the time we have for today, but hopefully by now we've taken you beyond the scenes. H Beyond the Scenes will be back with all new episodes next week. If you want to catch up on past episodes, head over to Daily Show dot com, slash Beyond, the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're listening h