Prayer, kindness, contentedness, honor, love, trust, obedience, abundance, intention, courage—here's exactly how I got to each word and what I'm doing with them.

Episode Summary

As I promised last week here are all 10 of my personal identity inversions, laid bare. In part 2 of the Identity Inversion series, I walk you through the full exercise I completed during an 8-hour personal retreat—2 hours each morning across 4 days—revealing the blind spots, weaknesses, and patterns I identified in my own life and the single words I'm using to redraw my identity. You’ll learn about everything from my impatience with imperfection to my fear of trying new things as I age. I also share practical tips for what to do with your list once you have it, including a surprisingly useful hack for categorizing your inversions.

Question of the Day 🗣️

If you did this exercise right now, what's the first identity pattern that comes to mind, and what might your inversion word be?

Key Takeaways

• This exercise took me 8 hours across 4 mornings during a personal retreat—and I recommend everyone schedule 3 to 5 days annually for exactly this kind of self-reflection work.
• I identified 10 inversions, each following the framework: describe the pattern in a paragraph, name the redemptive opposite in a sentence, and distill it into one word.
• My 10 inversion words: kindness, prayer, contentedness, honor, love, trust, obedience, abundance, intention, and courage.
• Feeding the list into GPT revealed a useful categorization: love anchors why I live, prayer/trust/obedience anchor who I depend on, intention/courage anchor how I move, contentedness/abundance anchor how tightly I hold, and kindness/honor anchor how I treat others.
• This isn't about perfection or self-worship—it's about becoming better equipped to love God and love others with the purpose you've been given.

Timestamped Outline ⏱️

00:00 – Introduction: Weekly newsletter podcast & how to subscribe 

00:30 – Welcome to Identity Inversion part 2—link to last week's framework episode 

00:52 – Quick refresher: paragraph → sentence → single word 

01:20 – This exercise took me 8 hours—here's how I structured it 

01:37 – Why you should schedule a 3-to-5-day personal retreat every year 

02:09 – How I block December 1–6 on my calendar a year in advance 

02:35 – The retreat structure: 2 hours each morning for 4 days 

03:09 – My list: 10 items to invert (I framed each as a question—that's optional) 

03:25 – Inversion #1: Hypersensitivity to errors and impatience → Kindness 

03:58 – Inversion #2: Not prioritizing constant connection to God → Prayer 

04:15 – Inversion #3: Comparing myself to others with more success or status → Contentedness 

04:56 – Inversion #4: Confusion and regret about my relationship with my dad → Honor 

05:25 – Inversion #5: Checking out when I'm not the center of attention → Love 

06:05 – Inversion #6: Needing to control every situation and close every loop → Trust 

06:23 – Inversion #7: Ignoring God's subtle nudges throughout the day → Obedience 

06:50 – Inversion #8: Scarcity mindset—hoarding, deal-hunting, bothered by waste → Abundance 

07:15 – Inversion #9: Filling every moment with hyperproductivity and junk minutes → Intention 

07:36 – Inversion #10: Trying fewer new things because of fear of failure → Courage 

08:00 – The GPT experiment: feeding my list in for an unbiased assessment 

08:18 – The categorization: why I live, who I depend on, how I move, how tightly I hold, how I treat others 

09:00 – What to do with your list: journal page, phone wallpaper, and custom poster 

09:25 – My poster lives in my lounge, where I see it every day 

09:40 – Reminder: This is not about perfection—it's about becoming the best version of our broken selves 

09:58 – Challenge: Share your full identity inversion list in the comments 

10:10 – Free signed copies of Fit Soul and Endure for the first person who posts their full list 

Ben's 10 Identity Inversions (Quick Reference)

1. Impatience with errors and imperfection → Kindness
2. Not prioritizing constant prayer → Prayer
3. Comparing myself to others → Contentedness
4. Unresolved grief and regret about my dad → Honor
5. Checking out when I'm not leading or center stage → Love
6. Needing to control everything and close every loop → Trust
7. Ignoring God's daily nudges → Obedience
8. Scarcity mindset and hoarding tendencies → Abundance
9. Hyperproductivity and junk training for the sake of checking boxes → Intention
10. Fear of failure stopping me from trying new things → Courage

Links & Resources 🔗

Identity Inversion Part 1—The Framework

Brokenness Episode

Ben's Books: Fit Soul and Endure

Subscribe to My Newsletter

Connect & CTA 🎯

👉 I'm giving away free signed copies of Fit Soul and Endure to the first person who shares their full identity inversion list in the comments—3 to 12+ inversions, your call. 

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