This week: pantomime villains, show don't tell, J-Rod on Ashes day one, doctored Ramsey, masthead loyalty, final words, in the Weids, stopping leaks, neither the journey nor the destination, shield cricket: it's not the NBA, gamble irresponsibly, picking your battles, our exceedingly up-to-date first test coverage, getting healthy, competitive doping, suing the NFL out of existence, sixteen out of eighteen, spouting rubbish, Skipper Smudge, I don't look so sharp now I got a heavy head, buying low on big clubs, American failsons, the Arsenal way, vodka and red bull albums, our forthcoming Fantasy Premier League minileague and vale Damo. Get more BALLS and After Dark in your ears via Omny Studio, Spotify and Apple Podcasts (please subscribe, rate and review), and feel free to hurl your reckons at us via Twitter, Facebook and email.