“Beware of making deals with the devil, for he will always find a way to collect his debts.” Someone should have told that to Oliver Cromwell because this week we're back at The Commandary with Megan and Alice to hear about the seven years of prosperity he was granted in return for his soul...
On today's episode, we are back at the Commandery in Worcester having another exciting history lesson. Last time, we learned how praying to Saint Wolfston can help row your penis back, emphasis on back. This time we're learning all about the English Civil War. My guide Megan is going to show me her jerkin, her death mask and her Ramrod lucky me. I think, if I'm honest, I don't actually know what any of those words mean.
Megan, we'd like to introduce yourself. Thanks for being.
Here, Thank you for having me. I am the learning and outreach coordinator here at the Commandery.
And just in case you need a quick recap on the Commandery.
It's started as a monastic hospital, then it went into a family home owned by the World family. In sixteen fifty one it became the Royalist HQ. During the Battle of Worcester during the Civil War, I joined the Victorian Times. It was a school for the blind sons of gentlemen, and then from the twentieth century it was a print works owned by the Chulby family, and then it turned into a museum in the nineteen seventies.
I'd like to hear more about it being a Royalist HQ. This is in the English Civil War Royalist HQ's This is where the cavaliers would be kicking around.
Yes, we were the Royalist HQ. We were just outside of the city walls. It wasn't the best place for Charles the Second himself to stay because just in case it was laced to by the parliamentarians, he was further in the city to keep him safe. But it's where all like the generals would meet up and discuss what they were going to do when they got attacked.
Which generals are we talking?
The big one is Duke Hamilton.
But okay, so talk through him.
Who is this guy, the Duke of Hamilton. He is a duke from Scotland. So Charles the Second had actually been exiled to France, and it was the Scottish who invited him back and said, if you'd come back, listened to our demands and we'll give you an army, which is really what he needed.
Charles the Second had been copying off with the free gentleman as me.
Probably, Yeah, there's lots of rumors about Charles the Second. He did have quite a scandalous private life.
So the Scots have promised to give him an army if he does all these things for them, and that's why lots of Scottish people end up here in this building.
Yes, they're about roughly fifteen thousand, but that I mean, that doesn't sound too bad. Unfortunately Cromwell had about twenty eight thousand to thirty thousand.
That is nearly double. That's a lot.
There's a lot of roundheads, a lot of roundheads.
If you're going into battle against thirty thousand soldiers, you better be prepared.
Luckily prepared is my middle name. It's actually not, it's William Reynolds. But that doesn't sound as good. What's happening now?
Getting dressed for war?
Oh? So I need to get really dressed in for war.
So the first thing you need is a protective jerkin.
Can't go into battle that jerkin. You can't imagine. It's terrible. What's a jerkin jacket?
It's a little bit actually, but it would help you with some of the sword, could help protect you a little bit because actually sometimes in battle they wouldn't want to wear.
The armor just because it's had to run and jump around him.
Yeah, they'd probably actually start taking off, you know, they'd be a bit more free.
Charge you to start stripping immediately.
So we've got that. And then also, who's got a helmet around here? Yes, so this is a pot helmet. So normally you'd probably be a pikeman if you're wearing this, and over here we have got a pike.
That is a big pike.
Yeah, pipes were very, very long. It was probably one of the most skilled soldiers within the Civil War to be a pikeman. If you weren't very good at being a pikeman, you'd be sent to be a cannoneer. Pikemen would also then have a sword because obviously when it's quite close range fighting, the pike's a bit useless, so.
They then do sort of your side you're piking your hands.
Yeah, and actually the main thing they'd do with the sword wasn't actually like stabbing or sizing it people. There'd be more unit to break bones because you get people off of the battlefield. If you go around breaking lots of people's collar bones, they're not going to be able to fight.
So tap the colarbones.
Well, they probably need to give it quite a whack, but yeah, that's.
What they do, sir. Really, why do they don't want to kill them.
I'm not saying they wouldn't, but if you're quite close ranged and you can't maybe stab them just giving them.
You know, to be honest, if I'm in the heat of battle, that is two specific tactics, I'm just going I'm just swinging.
I think let's talk about the actual battle then.
So the Battle of Worcester was on the third of September sixteen fifty one. The initial part of the battle didn't actually take place in the city center. It was a bit further out near Poeick, which is not far from Worcester. So there was the river and on the side closest to the city was where the Royalist forces were. On the other side is where the Parliamentarian forces were. So Cromwell had to come up with a way to get his soldiers over.
Suggestion number one for me would be, could a bridge.
Could do a bridge? What would you make the bridge.
Have of I haven't thought about that, but yet there must be some trees around the place. Yeah, yes, we chopping trees are.
So instead of overtopping the trees down, they had boats, and they got a boat, then it would be quite a long like to keep going from either side of the river, whereas if you had a bridge, they could just walk across it and they'd get across, because I mean, if you're the Royalist soldiers, you're probably just start attacking little groups that came across.
Yeah you would.
Yeah. Yeah, there's a reason why I'm did not follow my father's footsteps.
I am a jester.
I will entertain the troops while you build a bridge. Do you like juggling? Okay, So they are building that. The plan is to build a bridge.
Yeah, so they make a bridge out of boats and could bridge out. That's cool, yeah, idea. So then the soldiers can just walk across then. So from then they start fighting and it doesn't go well for the Royalists at this point because they're outnumbered and they start to retreat within the city. And Charles the Second can see that from within the city. He's on the top tower in the cathedral looking out. Yeah, and you can see a soldier's retreating.
They're going the wrong direction.
Yeah, if they're winning, Oh no, it's not good at all.
So Charles the Second came down from the cathedral and he went to speak to the Duke of Hamilton because they were like, it's not going too well, we need to think of a plan, and they decided to take two groups. One went with Charles the second and went one way to attack the parliamentarian forces. Duke of Hamilton went out said Martin's Gate, and then took his group around to attack on the other side. So it's like a pincer Maglan, which it sounds like a good idea.
Sounds runs like a great idea sensing a butt.
It didn't go well and they had to retreat back into the city. Unfortunately, at this point, Duke of Hamilton gets shot on the leg.
Oh god, I know.
So he's you know, losing one of his top general's personal he relies on. He's now out of battle. He actually gets brought to the commandery.
At this point you want to start praying to wolfstand and regenerate your leg.
Yes, definitely, I need a leg.
So he does a ride back here.
Yes, so he's back here. Charles the Second he has to retreat back into the city as well, and he's aiming to get into Sidbury Gate. But there's a problem now with him going back in there, and that is because of somewhere called Fort Royal. So I've not mentioned Fort Real yet, but it's quite an important part of the battle. If you're in the commander gardens, you'll be able to look out and you will see a hill. At the minute, it looks quite nice. There's like a park on there. It's nice and green as trees. But it was actually like a man made mound and it was a fort, like a star shaped fort that was built for the Civil War. So when they came here in the August, like late August, they were getting that ready for battle. Fortunately they didn't complete the eastern side, right. So there's about one thousand soldiers up there, and on each point they had a cannon. Okay, you'd probably need around five people to be able to fire a cannon, so you'd have different officers. And actually they didn't really care who you were, you or whatever you were doing this in the part of the cannon drill. Okay, so the first one, this is.
Like a formula one pit stop.
That's great, I mean have to be really quick. Yeah, sure, So first one number one, you'd be officer worm Worm, and your job is the first step after it had been fired, you would go and get the tool, which is called the worm.
Is that that twitdly little pigtail one.
Yeah, yeah, it doesn't like a little pigtail, doesn't it? He does, but yeah, is that one? He would take the instrument, put it into the barrel and get rid of any embers that were left there, stamp them out if they fi out of the floor, so it's ready to be reloaded again. Then you'd have officer wet mop okay, and just to doubly make sure that everything's gone from inside the cannon. They would put that usually in like water and urine that would go down at the barrel and clean it all out. Then you'd have officer dry mop, which would dry the inside of the cannon. You'd then have and it's probably my favorite name, Officer powder monkey, and off the powder monkey would go and get the powder very carefully take it to the cannon, because if you dropped anything on the floor, obviously you can catch fire. That would go down the barrel and then they would take it out. You'd then put whatever you're firing out of there. An officer ram Rod would come and just make sure it's all down at the bottom of the barrel. Then you'd have the captain come along and he'd be the one ready to light it. So at the very end he'd put some a fine powder down the little hole, and then when everyone was clear, he would light that and that would fire the cannon.
And roughly how long would that whole process take.
I think they'd really want it to be like a minute.
A minute's quick.
They would be quite well trained it, but sometimes it probably be longer than that or not sure to.
Be down good your officers are at each step. If your ram Rod is not up to scratch.
The case, this could be quite a good comedy scene.
The different sticks and poles, all the different nibs.
Yeah. I mean, by the time they'll be quite used to doing it, they might not need someone shouting it. Obviously, when I'm doing this to groups, people monkey to be that they know would just come and all of that. But it's funny to imagine that someone's got to shout the names.
That's what I want to imagine. You absolutely, Officer.
Yeah, officer.
Was a drama.
There's a parlem, imaginary cannibal, hic Ramrod, m hm.
Are we ready to really a well?
No one? So initially the royalist forces were firing these cannons down on the parliamentarian forces, which makes sense.
Yeah, absolutely. That sounds like it's going well.
Yeah, they had the high ground. They're pretty safe up there. After the juke of Hamilton and Charles the Second retreated. They then have their next target of Fort Royal. Now let's again, let's think about your tactics. Which side are you going to attack on Fort Royal? Which side is not completed?
The east side?
Yeah, so they attack on the eastern side because there's the weakness. They send a messenger and they say to the Royalist forces, if you used to render, we won't kill you all.
That is certainly the most civil thing about this war.
I know, and it's quite nice.
It is nice.
What do you think the Royalist horces do do?
They shoot the messenger?
They shoot the messenger.
Oh, don't do that. Literally, they're told every day, don't shoot the messenger.
Yeah, but they don't listen to that. They shoot the messenger. So the parliamentarians have no mercy, Yeah, sure, fair, Yeah, they kill pretty much all the soldiers are there.
I don't want to pick sides, but I feel like i'm team Parliamentarians.
I never know which side.
They just seem like they're conducting themselves a bit.
Yeah, they're better.
Yeah.
So they do just come in the east side and absolutely just yeah, it's an absolute devastation.
Yeah, a blood bath up there. But yeah, now that they've took over that those cannons which were firing onto the parliamentarians have now been turned onto the city.
So the animal was actually hitting into the city.
Yeah, which is actually quite a surprising, you know, like a comrade would have known the civilians. But also if he wins this.
Battle, was like, hey, go for it.
I have heard a story that actually the night before the battle, Oliver Cromwell had made.
A pact with the devil.
Yes, so I said, the night before battle that he was walking around in Perrywood, to the area of Worcester, and that he came across an old man and just started to talk to him, and the old man said, what do you most desire? So obviously the nightfall battle. What would Oliver comrade.
Want to win the battle?
To win the battle, to end the civil war? So the old man says to him, but tomorrow you will win the battle, but in seven years you will die and it's revealed. Then he's the devil.
How's it revealed?
I'm imagining like he's wearing a big cloak with a big hood and then really like really goes up.
Like red horns and a big black beard. Oh my god, it's you. Yeah, that's me. So yeah wow.
Why seven years six of the number of the devil, Yeah, just giving a little.
Courtesy year as well. Next year, Yeah, why not? Hey, I'm the devil, but I can still be nice.
And he did die like third September. He did die seven years later, on the same day, on the same day. No really, third September sixteen fifty eight.
Oh my god. That is actually quite scary. That is quite spooky.
That's why you always have the argument of was it a coincidence? And then Stone was like, that would make a really good story.
Yeah, sure, don't. Let's be good story.
Hey, that's the bad Manner's motto. That and if in doubt, make it up. After Cromwell croaked, a death mask was made, which was a wax casting of his face. They were often made after important figures had died to serve as a model for sculptors, or, of course, if anyone wanted a disturbing memento.
So this is actually one of the copies of his death mask. So when he died, he would have been embalmed, and then they would have made the first wax mold of his face, and then lots of others would have been made.
And they say it was made by taking an impression of his face within hours of his death. So he dies and then.
They get like a bloat with some silly putty to come and just take a take of impression.
Yeah, again, this might have been someone's job.
Yeah, probably quite a specific job. That really is. Oliver Cromwell's face isn't very happy, No, I mean.
I don't know he's dead. He's very unhappy that the seven years are up.
God, that's seven years of just counting down the days day. But we died of stress knowing that was coming.
Yeah, or like you know, having to run the country as well.
The combination of the two would have been lethal. So we know what happened to Oliver Cromwell what happened to Charles the Second.
So Charles the Second just about made it back into the city, it said, because the cannons were then firing into the city and there was dead bodies piling up in front of sid brigate, and that the only way he got back in alive is because he had to crawl on his hands and knees under a cart and he got back into the safety of the city.
Wow.
But then he knew at this point.
That as he's crawling through dead bodies, He's going this is not going on awesome for me.
No, he decided he needed to get out of there. There was actually a cavalry charge in the city on the high Street. It's actually the last cavalry charge which took place on English soil.
Really, yeah, how many horses are we talking? Do we know that?
I'm not sure? Actually, but it was more is like a distraction, right, So they were going to charge at the parliamentarians. This is when Charles the Second was going to get out.
I see.
So he went. He left Worcester and he had a very long journey to escape to safety to France that included him hiding up an oak tree. He had to dress as a woman, he had to hide in lots of the priest holes in people's houses. And he was quite tall. So he's not really the type of person who could blend in anywhere or.
Fit into You have a mustage in a little beard as well, I think. So.
Yeah, that except the ugly woman up that oak tree she should come down. We're about to go into the escape room where Charles the Second is said to have escaped, and we're going to be meeting Alice and she's going to give us an escape room challenge.
Yeah, excellent, lead on.
Let's go.
Hi, Hi, Well thank you, I'm here to trap me. Yes, yes, I can get escape the museum. Is this it? Very creaky floorboards?
Brilliant.
Yeah, they were up in the attic at the commandery.
So we're off the usual visitor path. People don't want to get.
You don't want to get to come up here.
No exciting new escape room. Please lead on. Let's side. It's hard that you can't escape into the room.
Let lane out of the room.
So exciting.
Hi. My name's Alice.
I'm museum's marketing officer here at Museums Worcestershire and we're going to be having a go at the escape room commandery quest at the Commandery. So when you arrive you get to hear the story of the escape room just out there where we were before.
What is the story?
So the story is King Charles is Great seal was hidden at the commandery. You did have a seal? Not the animals O and it's been hidden all of these years since the Battle of Worcester in sixteen fifty one, and now you've.
Got to find it, to find the seal.
Yes, but the critical part of the story that I didn't tell you is that Artie Snitch, who is a notorious thief. He's on his way in an hour Scotland yard of let us know.
And then that's all I get. So I just got to now go for Yeah.
So now you're in this room full of museum store things. Okay, you've got to find a little wooden box and solve the puzzle inside.
Okay, off you go, start the time. Then here's towards the mice heads.
First, there's a space for it's very futuristic in this corner.
I will be to give you a war more cold situation, possibly for the best I feel in the sort of the future. Over here.
You're in the future. You're a bit cold old.
Yeah, maybe I'll go to the fireplace. That seems like a good place to get warmer.
And oh yeah, a little box, an opening box, oh and the jigsaw.
Yeah, so nice set.
Okay, start at the corners. So I was looking like I'm gonna live. That's a possom corner. How long do the witch guy gets here? Fifty fifty six minutes? Okay, get worse to keep his eye on him, but I'm not catching him yet.
How the hell is this work?
I mean, if I was a child the second try to escape and I had to get through this to escape, I think I just accept my own faid.
Just die. Yeah, stay and die. This is far too complicated.
If I was I found the seal.
Incredible. Does that mean I'm alive? I can escape.
You've escape, but you're welcome to leave the commandery if you should so wish.
Thank you? Yeah, good luck.
Thank you.
We've just escaped the commandery and now we are walking up the path to freedom.
That mound is there, lovely Mound, Meghan.
That's Fort Royal.
That's Fort Royal.
Sorry, yeah, sorry, Fort Royal, which was the final bit the east side was not made.
And yeah, so that's where the parliamentarians took control and started to shoot at the city with the cannons.
It's quite steep and you're saying that that's about two thirds about.
What it used to be.
Yeah, it would have been even higher.
More. We haven't escaped yet.
There's still one more bolt and we're out. I've finally made my escape from the commandery, which means it's good from me, Officer Ramrod. Until next time, remember, if you're going into battle, don't forget your jerk in, don't shoot the messenger, but do mind your manners. Thanks for listening to Bad Manners. If you like the pod, please share it with your friends. Rate it on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Leave a review and make sure you spill the tea on any of your favorite Bad Manners.
That we could feature in future episodes.
This podcast was produced by Atamei Studios for iHeartRadio. It was hosted by me Tom Horton. It was produced by William Lensky, Rebecca Rappaport, and Chris Ataway. It was executive produced by Face Steur and Zad Rogers. Our production manager is Caitlin Paramore and our production coordinator is Bella Selini.