Let’s Get Real | Golden Hour

Published May 17, 2024, 7:01 AM

Today on “Golden Hour,” Kathy and Susan are back with another round of Friday Fan Questions. We kick off the episode discussing the dangers of making important topics like suicide and menopause taboo — it’s time to be real. 

Then, we discuss the work behind true love and what it takes to make it work. And, of course, the fan questions! From getting ghosted to skeletons in your partner’s closet, you asked, and Kathy and Susan are giving you all the answers. Listen now to hear all this and more, and be sure to follow so you never miss an episode.

Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for joining us. We're so happy to be here. We're back today. We are so lucky. We got more fan questions. Oh, there's some really good ones here. And if you really want an answer from us, please, if you have a question for Susan and me, send them in. Go to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour. Please send us in your questions. We always have an opinion and we're always willing to share it.

Yes, please do. But first, let's get started with today's question of the day.

Okay, read it out, go for it.

How has your definition of true love changed over the years.

For me, Susan, true love has not changed over the years. The definition of true life is just that it's loving something completely holy, working hard, wanting to spend that time. I think it just looks different how you express the true love, how you express it, how you express true love?

What do you mean by that?

Well, when you're when when we were young and first married, true love might mean letting our husbands sleep in on a Saturday morning so that and we get up to the kids and be quiet, or or you know, doing the yard work. If it was typically our husband's something like that. Where now for me, true love with the person I hope to find is going to be It's always about communication, but it's going to be about I think the way I show true love. That's what I guess I'm saying, the way I show you? What about you?

Yeah, I took the words right out of my mouth. I used to believe the butterflies and the excitement of he walks through the room, and no matter how long you've been together, you would still get excited thinking that was true love. You need your best friend, somebody that you can share everything with, good or bad, happy or sad.

Right, And I think that true love. We talked about it. We talked about it with Trista. True love takes a lot of work, takes it all does, and so I don't think that. I think we would be lucky at our age to have a chance to find it and have the chance to show true love and receive true love.

I'm ready.

I'm ready too. Are you ready to answer some fan questions?

Well?

I guess so.

Would you like me to go first? You want to read it?

Knock yourself out all right?

Question number one is from Leslie from New York, and she says, last month, I had a great first date with a guy that I met on a dating app. We had originally planned to just meet for coffee, but then we ended up talking and hanging out for almost five hours. That's a good date. We both were laughing and saying that this was the best first date either of us have ever had. I like it so far. When we left, we had already made tentative plans to meet up again the following week. Then nothing. Ooh, he completely ghosted me and never picked up the phone or answered any of my texts. He just texted me trying to make plans to see each other again. Should I give this guy another chance after he ghosted me for an entire month? Hell? No, really a month, Kathy, he's gone invisible? Oh well no?

Oh, I can't even believe that, Susan. I really thought you and I were going to be on the same page on this one. I absolutely would meet him.

Why really, so he can leave you hanging for another month?

No, it's what do we talk about? Always? Communication? I would sit down. Let's just call day Leslie. Let's call him Joe. Leslie and Joe sit down after not seeing a month. If I were Leslie, I'd come dressed for the nines. I see your no no, no, no, no no, and then I would say to him, very calmly, talk to me, tell me why I haven't heard from you for a month. Why did you gost me? I would wait and see. Who knows, maybe there was a death in the family, Maybe there was he got fired from his job, you know, maybe there were circumstances. I would give the guy a chance to explain himself. And if he said, you know, something like, well, you know, I was with Julie and I had to make sure it wasn't going to work out with her. Lady's a cheater and I'm out.

So yeah, I don't have a month to I'm sorry, I would have. I would probably ask during that text, do you have an explanation as to why do you want?

The answer over text?

I don't care how I get it, but you better give me some reason to want to come and meet you. If I sit for thirty days, I'm gonna be upset for the first week, maybe ten days. After thirty You're lost.

Oh no, not me. I want to look the guy in the eye, because you know what looking a man in the I agree with that part. That's why I'm not texting this guy.

They only had one meeting and they had a fabulous time.

So something happened, did it? Something happened he was either hot, in bed with Julie, somebody.

Else or Okay, okay, So then go back to why is he just sending her a text to meet again? Call me, come over, send flowers, show me something.

Well, remember we're talking about young people here who meet on dating apps and.

A dating app, but doesn't mean they're young. Okay, let's go back. We're not assuming things.

Okay, I am saying I think he could have called, he went out of her number. We don't know any of that. We don't know what Leslie's thinking or doing. We only know what this question says. I am telling you short and simply, I would meet up with him, look in the eyes, and see what he has to say, and then I'd make my decision. And I'd also stick him with a bill.

So I probably have already done this, and maybe that's why I'm speaking this way, because I will never do it again. That's not worth it.

I've learned my lasson. All right, let's move on. Cecilia from California rights. My husband and I have been together for ten years, married for five. Recently, we hosted a party and a bunch of his buddies from college came. Oh boy. After hours of drinking, we all started swapping stories. I found out that on spring break of his freshman year, my husband and his roommate paid for a prostitute. Oh they paid for a prostitute and both quote partook in the festivities. Though this was years before we had started dating. I am totally grossed out and disturbed by the information. I get why my husband never told me, But I'm having a hard time getting past this. Do you have any suggestions?

And how would you feel what's happened in the past is in the past. He didn't even know her then. He was a guide. Not that it's okay, but guys do that. No, you should.

Women don't.

We're not talking about women here.

You just said guys do that. Let's tale.

I mean that happens. I wow, you might be disappointed or something like, babe, you really did that. But he didn't even know her then, and it was ten years ago and he was a freshman in college. He wasn't thinking with all the mL was your name again, I think it was Celia.

Let it go, Let it go.

You're pretty battle three battles exactly how what I feel.

I mean, I would feel oo in the moment, but ten years ago. I don't know if you have kids. I don't know if you have a family. But you know what, I'd be more worried, Cecilia, if he'd been with a prostitute since you've been with him.

So that's a whole different ball. You're just saying it's over.

I think, Cecilia, if you have a good marriage, thank your lucky stars for it. Go give him a kiss, tell them to buy a bouquet of flowers, and move on.

I let it go, babe, Let it go. Don't sweat the small stuff. But thank you for writing in. And if you have anything else to say, we're here to listen.

And we hope you're happy.

I know. Question number three Okay, Anonymous from Missouri said this, Kathy and Susan, I could really use some advice. My mother is my best friend. We have always been, especially in the last few years since my dad passed away. We even moved her into a new, larger home so that she could live with us all Recently, she met a man at church and has gone out on a few dinners. She seems happy and to like him. But I'm having a really hard time with this. I worry sometime he will take advantage of her or hurt her. She is very naive in many ways. She and my dad married when she was just eighteen, and she hadn't even pumped her own guess until he passed. I'm trying to support her and let her do what she wants, but I am struggling. I worry someone will take advantage of her or hurt her.

Okay, can I take this one? Mm hmm, okay, I think so. When my husband passed away, my daughter really struggled with the idea of me day. I think that this young lady from Missouri is probably dealing with a little bit of that. It's just hard to see your mom with someone that's not your dad, so I think that's part of what's going on. I think you are so sweet to consider your mom and having her safe. I mean, come on, you bought a house so she could live with you. You are a lovely young lady. But I do think again, from my standpoint, being alone and my husband passing away. Your mom is probably lonely.

Even though she lives with them and loves it.

Let her, Yeah, well, let let her. If she met the guy at church and she's been on a few dinners with him, it's okay. It's okay, and it's and by the way, it's okay for you to struggle. It is hard. It is hard to accept that your mom could move on and bring someone else into her life. But it doesn't mean in any way that she will ever forget your dad. So if that's what's going through your mind, I hope it isn't because nobody will ever replace your dad.

And also I get that you love your mom and you want to protect her. Once again, communication tell her you're a little concerned. Mom, Just keep your eyes open. And but it is okay because look at us, look at our age and Kathy's or whatever. I'm divorced. We're gone to go and find and meet people and date and hopefully build a relationship with someone. You don't want her to be alone until she passes. Right, even though her life is fulfilled living with you and your family, that's a wonderful, it's.

Not totally fulfilled. That's the whole thing.

That's it.

She likes someone else, I think let her go a little bit. Okay, but wait, can I ask you one thing? Sure, have you not pumped your own guess since you were twenty something?

She must live in Jersey.

I don't know. I don't know. I want to. I want you to let well that she lives in Missouri. Yes, I might move to Missouri if I don't have to pump my own gas anymore. I didn't even know that was a thing.

Do you know? When I was first married, he would wash the car every weekend. I still do it to this day. Every Friday, I clean my car. It's like a ritual. But he used to do those things for me, and that was so sweet. Fill up the car. My dad did it for my mother. Really, he'd fill her car up with the gas every weekend and wash the car.

Okay, Well, when we were talking earlier about true love, yeah, that's what I mean, the things that they do for you. Yeah, that shows.

That gets me into what's your love language? There's so many love languages. Some people like to do things for others. That's their way of showing love. And one of the things that I thought about recently was, I know what my love language is. But to be able to see what his love language is, I just assume affection and touch and I want to feel love. But I assumed everybody felt like I did until I read about the five languages of love, and some of them are very similar to the others. But some people like gifts. Some people like giving gifts, you know, So there we go. He liked to do things for her, and I never pump gas.

I want the gift of something pumping gas for I just decided my new traits for finding a partner pump my gas.

Oh please. But I just love receiving all these questions, and it gives us something to talk about and think about in our own lives. And I hope all of you out there that hear these stories are questions that we're talking about you can relate to your life in some way. One more question we have, Go ahead, Kathy.

Jacqueline says, Hi, I just turned thirty one, and for various reasons and just always focusing more on myself, I have never been in a relationship at this age. It's understandably coming off as a big red flag on dates when I meet someone and I'm wondering what your advice is to start that conversation with someone so that they would give me a chance.

What do you think is, well, it gave me something to think about. Actually, So number one, why haven't you been in any relationships? Is it because you were studying or you're focusing on your career or were you just plumb not interested? And what makes you interested now? Is my first part of that question. You should focus on yourself because a better you is a better second half in a relationship, the other half in a relationship.

Right, Yeah, I agree with I think that there's been a lot of pressure put on young, younger people today to get in relationships and get married. And you know, our kids, we've talked about this. Our kids have focused on their lives. My daughter didn't get married till she was thirty four, she met her husband. When she knows nothing wrong, that's my point. So I think it's of concern that she believes that there's something wrong.

But how did she write it? Again? She said that they're questioning it.

Well, she's asking how does she make it come across that she's not that there'sn't some reason that she hasn't been in a relationship. Because I was focused.

On my career and I want to be one hundred percent.

And I think many people today are meeting I would I to me, it's a non issue. You just go into it if you're interested in.

I don't feel like it's a problem. Well she does, Yes, she does.

But I would say, go into the dinner of the date whatever, talk about who you are, talk about your goals in life, talk about your job.

I wouldn't lead off with it.

I'm thinking about my wealth.

I've never been in a relationship, but I'm thirty one.

Red flag, Yeah, don't lead off that. But I think the red flag is more in your mind than it will be in.

The ends too. I do too, unless you're dating the wrong guy, and.

There's a lot of those out there.

There are a lot of those out there. But I wish you a lot of luck. And you know what, there's nothing wrong with waiting till then, And I'm glad you did you first, and.

Keep doing you, keep doing you. You'll find the right guy when it's time, and you don't have to worry about red flags. If it's the right guy, you'll know it absolutely.

Thanks for writing in, and if you do have a question for us, we want to hear it. Please go to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour. You may even be featured on one of our podcasts.

Okay, Susan, we've answered other people's questions. Now it's time for us to play a game. Today's game is called would you rather? I'm going to read them and then we're both going to pick out which one we'd rather do. Okay, got it all right? Would you rather date a man that is bald or a man with excessive back hair?

God, I would have to wax that in a minute. That would be gone.

She's a hairdresser, she could do it.

And a bald man doesn't bother me as long as he shaves his whole head.

You know, I actually have attracted a bald man.

I like both. I like no hair like I don't like just the round top and they try to grow it on the side and has a comb over. No.

I dated a guy uh since my husband passed away, who very handsome guy. UH. Will never date him again though, because he's he's the guy that was never married. But when I first met him the first few dates, he wore a ball cap all the time, which to me is a no.

No, so he didn't know because he's uncomfortable with it.

Well, no, once we got to know each other, he took it off. So I'm going with a bald guy. Okay, sure?

Now would you rather receive flowers or chocolate for Valentine's Day?

In today's world?

I thought it was both.

I mean, here we go. Listen everybody out there. When I asked these questions, Susan's first answer is both. Just so you know, for me, I actually would rather receive flowers. Now I'm on my own. I buy flowers for myself occasionally, although I've had to stop because my two geriatric cats eat them and then throw up.

But no, the question was if you had a choice, now, right, I would you rather definitely flowers?

Okay, definitely? Okay, what about you?

I like it? Bet, I'm not a big chocolate person, so.

I can I have your chocolate? Yes? And then I'll get both?

You kids, would you rather have the ability to see ten minutes into the future or one hundred and fifty years into the future.

I'm going to be really honest with you. You say both, I'm going to know I didn't say both. No, I'm this I'm going to say ten minutes because I don't want to know. I don't It's the same thing I don't want to talk to psychics or mediums.

I don't want to know. One hundred and fifty years will know what angel we're going to be down, I'm coming down to protect like that would be kind of cool too, But now I go ten minutes.

Yeah, definitely, ten minutes. Ok Okay. Would you rather find we need to pass this one. Nope, we're doing it. Would you rather find true love today or win the lottery next year?

As much as I would love to hit the big one on the lottery, I would like to be in love.

Are you kidding me? No? I don't believe you.

Why would I lie?

Because Susan?

Yeah? Really yeah? Really me? You don't want to be in law?

Of course I want to be in love. But if I have enough money, I'll have love.

No stop it, you will lie. Wait, like I said, both, that's a both.

That's a can I just paint the picture? Look at the billboard up on the highway. So many zeros you can't count them all.

But love is love? Really true love?

Though, I'll pick love, okay, okay. Would you rather have another ten years with your partner that you don't have right now?

Yeah, or I can't even answer that, or.

A one night stand with your with your celebrity pass.

We'll pass on my question.

Move on, all right? Would you rather wear the same socks for a month? I know we're passing this one.

Too, or the same underwear? I'll go command though, Babe, I'm not wearing the same underwear for a week. Why would you even? Why where'd that come from?

I don't know.

I didn't make it up.

I have known people though that, are you ready? Huh? Take their underwear and wear it and then turn it inside out.

So, for goodness sake, call me. I'll buy you another pair. I mean, is it because you don't have enough? Why would somebody? I mean wear the same socks for a month? I hardly wear socks, so I'll take that one. I just won't wear them. God. Would you rather have a pause or a rewind button in your life?

For me? That's easy? What is it you heard? Trista? She said she everything has brought her to where she is today for a reason, for a reason. But in my life I would rewind because I would do some things differently in my marriage.

Okay, I would pause and give me time to think about things before I make the wrong decisions. I've made some decisions that I wish I didn't. So yes, it could be answered like you're saying, redo, But that's like she said, that's why we are where we are and who we are today because of the life's decisions.

Well, I don't want to rewind all my life.

I say that.

You know, Well, if we're imagining, let's imagine how we want it.

Oh, here's a good one, Kathy, all right. Would you rather walk in on your adult children or have them walk in on you? No brainer?

Oh for me, I'd have them much have prefer them to walk in on me because there's no one in my bed.

No stop it there was, that's all.

Doesn't say that. Yeah, we don't like either one of those two.

Would you rather travel the world for free for a year or have fifty thousand dollars to spend however you please? They need to add a comma in there. I mean, that's not enough money, don't. It's not a comma. It's some more zeros, That's what I mean. At a kamma, you need a couple more zeros.

Now, I would travel you and I both love to travel. Travel the year, and I would travel free for a year, and it wouldn't have to be at five star restaurants and five star hotel.

Well, because of you and the five stars, I need the five star restaurants. I like food. Kathy, tell me did your mom not cook or like? What was it that she Kathy eats to live? Susan lives to eat? I love God. Maybe because my dad was a butcher. I don't know. I had the best meats and Italians and then we cook good. I'm just saying, all right, it's I.

Like it, even food.

But like if I give you something great, you'll go, that's very good. Anything's very good. I'm going to give you a rather question because I already know the answer. Okay, good, and then you'll know what my answer is.

Okay, would you rather walk five miles or eat a spaghetti dinner?

I'd have to walk the five miles and I can enjoy this.

Susan, you can't walk five miles. Let's be honest here, who can't? You can't?

I challenge you, girlfriend, I can walk five miles just down when I was in Elston, I know only a mile, but you were press. What did you say?

I was impressed. It was a mile.

I'm a walker. I can walk. I can't run. I cannot run. But I'll walk five miles with you any day.

I would. I'm telling you I would rather go for a hike, bike, ride, kayak walk than just about anything else.

I love to walk.

No, you love to eat. I do.

That doesn't mean the next timeber to.

Gather Susan, I'm getting your sneakers. We're going to do. We're gonna put it up on Instagram. You're going to walk five miles and I'm going to be picking you up off the pavement.

You're really not. If you're wrong, I challenge you to.

That you're wrong. You heard it, y'all heard it. Okay, you heard it.

I'll track it all right.

Would you rather be able to speak any language or be able to communicate with animals?

I would rather speak any language, many languages. I do communicate with my animals, my cat. My cats are like dogs. Okay, that's creepy, but okay, I mean to them like that.

Try head out of it. Oh no, I would love so true story I have studied. Let me count them.

I'm pretty sure, guys, she's going to brag. She speaks a lot of No, I don't.

That's where I was going. I'm pretty good at English. I took five years of French. I've taken I don't know, four or five years of Spanish, two years of German. I pretty much can ask for a bathroom.

And when we were in Saint Martin, you were starting the little French thing. The Nancy chimed in with hers. It was kind of cute.

As I know, is that you know the one you know, the first one? You know, the first one I learned. You know what that means? Do you want to go to bed with me?

Oh Jesus, okay, well, let's not share that one. Would you rather be the funniest person in the room or the smartest person? Oh, Kathy, you got both of.

Those, But if you had to choose one, I don't know.

I like being funny.

I like being funny.

I like would you rather go back to the past and meet your loved ones who passed away or go to the future to meet your children or grandchildren? To be definitely the latter.

Oh see, I'd rather go back and see my loved one.

Oh, I want to see the future ones that I didn't get to meet, Well you will.

You'll be looking down to see angel flying Angel Susan Here she comes. Well.

I hope you guys enjoyed us again today because we love doing this and we'll be back every week to do it. And that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for joining us today on Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour.

Really, thank you, guys. We've enjoyed it. We hope you've enjoyed it as much as we have. Please follow us. We have new episodes coming out every week and you won't want to miss one. We've got so many great plans your guests.

Cot your guests, and make sure to submit your questions because we love reading them out loud. We love to talk about it. Go to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour to send them in.

Okay, Susan, Yes, I'm not aboff begging. If you know any good looking single guys who might be interested in dating Susan or may please send them our way, because I'm going to pick the best one for myself and the second best one for Susan.

Course she is of course she is DM me and let me see what you got. Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app, or wherever you listen to your podcast. Thanks for joining us next week

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