Big Secrets and Bestie Breakups | Golden Hour

Published Jul 19, 2024, 7:01 AM

Today on Golden Hour, we're diving into another episode of Friday Fan Questions! We kick off with today's question of the day: is it necessary to bring a gift to an international wedding? Then, Kathy and Susan get into your questions, starting off with an update from a past question! Tune in now to hear all this and more and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode! 

Welcome back to Batcheler Happy Hour's Golden Hour. We're back. Thanks for joining us. Say hi, Kathy, Oh my gosh, it's so great.

If you haven't listened to Wednesday's episode, please go give it a listen. Susan and I decided to mix things up a little bit this week, and we had so much fun laughing.

I don't know how we still have a job.

I don't know. I mean, in case you missed it, Susan's dialing old boyfriends that she had dates with.

He's getting love notes from the public. I'm jealous.

We are having a great time. So, Okay, today we're going to do another round of some Friday fan fun questions. But before we do that, Susan, okay, give it to us. Let's go with the question of the day.

Let's do it topic for discussion. Okay, you ready?

Is it rude to not bring a gift to an international destination wedding?

I mean, I'm sorry, I cost you a fortune to get there.

Oh guys, hello, this is in the day. Let's just back it up. This is not a hard question to answer. You bring a gift to a wedding or or in caps you check out the registry and you send one. So friends, when you're flying to Naples, Italy with your carry on because you're too damn cheap to pay the fifty bucks for a suitcase, send a gift out of the registry before you go to the wedding. It doesn't matter what international.

A wedding registry.

I am going to one in the Bahamas, and I'm already thinking I have to give a cash gift.

Obviously I'm not carrying anything. Or you do registry, are you sure?

Yeah?

Positive?

Great? Then they want it's a lot of weddings now they do cash for the honeymoon.

Well that would be on in that No, that's what I looked for.

Okay, okay, Susan, Yeah, in your cheap ass carrying a carry on so you don't have to pay for luggage.

I got check luggage and a gary on.

Of course, you do put the envelope in with the check just you know they'll have a basket. But people going to an international wedding give a gift. You give a gift, whether it's an international wedding or a wedding at the pizzeria down the street.

Can I bring how many people feel their destination weddings for them to get there to share the day with them. They shared a big expense and they feel like they don't have to give a gift that.

So you know what, you know what those are people thinking because of what I had to pay to get there.

But I'm still giving a gift.

I am telling you. People who think that are thinking without the equipment to do the job. Start thinking. People, you got invited to a wedding. Can I just tell you what my real bugaboo is about wedding And this happened to me at my daughter's wedding. If you have a wedding and you have a sit down dinner, this may come as a surprise to some people. You have to pay for the food. So if you say per it's per plate and it's not inexpensive because newsflash, weddings and funerals they up charge food and flowers. Just saying so even.

If a buffet wedding is expensive.

That's what I'm saying, by the number of its per head. So people who say I'm coming to your wedding. I had a couple their neighbors. They're no longer friends, and I hope they listen to this. They were invited to my daughter's wedding and they had done this same thing to other friends of ours. They said yes to the wedding and then they didn't come. So I so I lost the money. Yeah, so I said to them, because you know me, Susan, I say what I think. I said, Hey, guys, don't do to me what you did to our friends. If you say you're coming to the wedding, I expect you to be there. And they, oh, we wouldn't miss it, We'll be there. Yeah. And they came to the wedding and then they oh, no, they came. They left right after the ceremony to go to the Rolling Stones concert and lied about it, said they had to get home for whatever.

Oops did they get.

I don't know what they did, but I paid for I paid for two very expensive dinners. So people, the short answer here is, don't be cheap. Buy a wedding gift, regardless of whether the wedding is international or down the street.

And if you say you're going to.

A wedding, go to the wedding unless you have fallen and broken your hip and you're getting work place.

On the topic, don't get carried away. It's just about giving an international gift.

They'll move on. She's getting excited fastning.

It really made me angry about that. I don't believe all right, all right, all right, so let's do some fan questions now that Kathy's had to melt down. Here over, I'm going to take.

The first one.

You need to breathe. Okay, Susan, we're going to get into some fan questions, but first you're not going to believe it. We have gotten an update from one of our writers that wrote in a question and we answer. We now have an update from them.

Yes we do. Oh boy, Okay, here goes Kathy and Susan. Thank you for using my letter on your podcast. You ladies rock. I am sixty seven year old Karen who asked about my three year relationship. You made me feel so good about where I am. Of course, you told me to enjoy things the way they are. Since my last letter to you, I had a birthday. George gave me the prettiest ring ever, oh and told me how much he appreciates me. He is a man of few words, even so he does say he loves me, so his words mean so much to me. I still love the partnership of marriage, but I'm happy where I am. Thank you, ladies for the fabulous advice. Love you both. Keep up the fantastic work. This golden girl is counting on it.

Love Karen, Can I just say.

Said jealous again? You guys are killing me today.

Wait a minute second. So we gave such good advice, she's got.

A ring on her hand, she held.

Oh congrats, Karen. We're so happy for you.

And you know what, I'm even happier that you wrote this in and thank you everybody. If we do something that helps, or maybe we did something that didn't help at all, let us know.

So let me just give the listeners a little context of what this was our In our episode be True to You, Karen wrote in asking about her boyfriend, she had been divorced for about twelve years and after being married for almost forty and after this terrible divorce, found this great guy and their only problem was that he didn't want to remarry and she did. So here's the deal, whatever advice we gave her, she's got a ring on her hand and it just shows you true love.

You know you love him just because he's not asking you to marry him.

She's got a ring she's got a ring.

But they were, they were together. Just enjoy it. You don't have to, especially at this age.

Well, I'm wondering if he decided to marry her.

It's it's unbleautiful ring is all we know.

And that made she said, I still love the partnership of marriage, but I'm happy where I am. So maybe he gave her a ring. Karen, you'll have to give us a next update.

Is it an engagement ring or a friendship though?

Who cares? She's happy where she is, Susan, what about us?

I can't you had too? I can't with you. I'm done I could.

I'm sorry you met the guy in Marshall's Give me a Break. It's two to one in the ninth.

On what happened there?

Kat I got nowhere, got right when he got me in after four months? Yeah then yeah, we won't go there. But you know what, it's really amazing when we do. Here back from our listeners, Karen, we're so happy for you, a little jealous and envious, but very heavy.

I love it. And to anyone whose question we've answered, we really would love to hear from you. Know how it's going. Keep us updated and all right, you ready to start answering some questions? Sure? This one is from Catherine. She spells her name the way I do. Hi, Susan and Kathy. I loved you both on The Golden Bachelor and have enjoyed listening to all of your podcasts and advice that you've given to other people. My question is about my close girlfriends having children while my husband and I have decided not to. My three girlfriends from college each have children or have a child on the way, and all of the children are two and under. We all live within thirty to forty five minute drive from each other and try to get together when we can, but it's getting tougher and tougher. I'm trying to find ways to keep those friendships with them going, knowing that I want to be involved in their lives and get to know their children, but not have every interaction that I have with them revolve around the children and topics related to the children. How can I make this work? I look forward to hearing from both of you.

That's your choice to not have children, and that's fine, but unfortunately, if you love your friendships, it's going to be about kids.

For a while, I was just going to say, Yeah, it's people who have children. It's just sort of the natural evolution of life. You want to you think that when you have children, you're going to talk about politics and you know who's going to win the presidential race and whatever. But the reality is you're busy about your kids, and you know, mind sleeping through the night is yours. I mean, it's just the natural course of events. I do hand towards though for life.

Maybe ask them, like, plan something six weeks in advance and say something to the effect of, let's go to dinner, maybe you can get a sitter or you know.

Besides doing I mean, I think the way you make at work is what Susan just said. You realize that for some period of time it's going to be this way. It's going to be kid centric, and you try to set up a dinner or an and.

You want to get to know their children, So go over and plan a fun day, take them out to the park, or do something like that with them.

Yeah, I mean asked just the way it goes, all right.

I have one from anonymous Dear Susan and Kathy. First off, I want to say how much I enjoy listening to you too, and seeing the friendship you have since the show ended has been the greatest thing since asking anyone who says otherwise, can zip it?

Oh cute, zip it.

We have something that's been on my mind recently, regarding the start of what is now a long term, three plus year relationship. My partner and I, now in our early thirties, met through a dating app where there was no indication he had a child. We got to know each other for two weeks before we went on the first date, but it was only but it was only until our second date that he told me about his daughter. I was speechless and it took some time to process it, and as Jared would say, I assembled the group chat and ultimately decided to continue dating. And here we are several years later, and now I find myself wondering if this was fair of him, because as someone who has never intended on having children, I would have never matched with him had I known he was a father. Do you think it was wrong of him not to disclose the information on the dating app or fair that he wanted me to get to know him first before disclosing this life changing information.

Just curious to hear your thoughts.

This is so easy for me. God, it doesn't matter what he should have done or not have done. You've been with him now three plus years, and so you're thinking to this, Well, now, if you decided you're not interested, don't use the fact that he didn't tell you three plus years ago that he had a child. So, Anonymous, if you don't like him and the relationship, but don't blame it on him that he didn't tell you something three plus years ago, because you've stuck around for three plus years.

I want to add the first date, you're not telling everybody everything. You got to see if you even are interested in suing anything before you share everything.

The second date, he told her. That's plenty of time.

That's what I'm saying. He told her on the second date, and she's stuck around. Here's what I think is going on, And Anonymous, it's okay. By the way, I think she wants out, get out.

I want her out. I'm sorry, No, that's not fair. You're being selfish.

Yeah, you're you're just you're you're trying to blame your desire to get out of the relationship on the fact that he didn't tell you, And that's not washing with me. All right, two.

Years, baby, two years, three plus years. Even now you're talking, I don't understand that well inside of her, like she's been dwelling on this for three years.

I think she's you know what, I think? I think again, like the movie, she's just not that into him anymore, and she's looking for an excuse to get out. And Sweetie Anonymous, you don't need an excuse, just say it. I'm not she's.

Getting it easy. She does it easy. I'd be there must be Susan.

There's Susan three plus.

Thanks for sharing it with us, and we wish you all good luck.

Hope it all works out whichever way you go. Okay, Ali from Massachusetts, Yay my home state, asks Kathy and Susan. I have an urgent moral dilemma. My cousin and his girlfriend are both in their mid twenties and have been together for several years. Last summer, he confessed to his parents that he had cheated on her a one time hookup earlier that summer. He also told his friends and siblings about it. So naturally, I traveled down the Grapevine, and pretty much everyone on his side of the family and friends know about it. We have all tried to convince him to come clean, but he swears he won't ever do it again and doesn't want to lose her. Recently he's been talking about an engagement. She's a great girl, and I hate the thought of half the wedding knowing about the cheating incident. He's family, so I don't want to write him out. But I also hate that everyone is keeping this secret. What should I do? Nothing?

She should do nothing, and if it comes out, it comes out. I mean that's a chance he's taking, and hopefully she'll understand.

But you do nothing.

Stand Ali from Massachusetts. Enjoy the wedding. I hope it's on Nantucket or Martha's vineyard or in Marblehead somewhere fabulous. But say nothing, it really say nothing. It's not your business. It's just not it's it's not your secret to tell. And if somebody else wants to, you know, blow the blow the shot and tell them, that's on them.

But you know they don't look good telling trust me, Yeah, it's it's not a good Sometimes when you do share something so hurtful like that, you're to blame.

You know, why would you tell me? Yeah? I will do that? And what should I do absolutely?

End of discussion and know what you should do. Allie is enjoy the wedding and I hope you find mister Wright there.

And pray nobody says a word. Some things are better left unseid exactly. Okay, I have another anonymous Hi, Kathy and Susan. I love the pod and I really hope you see this because I need your input. My question is, how do you get over a really brutal end to a really close friendship.

I was best.

Friends with a couple of girls in high school, particularly two of them that I had introduced to each other. After high school, I moved away to my dream college across the country. I had only been gone for two or three months when one of my best friends asked to FaceTime. She told me our other friend was telling everyone we knew at home some really nasty rumors about me. They were so hurtful that I don't really want to repeat them here, but they were really cruel. I was so blown away that someone that's known me almost my entire life could not only do something so terrible, but could also keep it from me for so long. It turns out no one believed her because she's been making things up about me behind my back for years. A few months after my friend told me what was going on, she unfollowed me on everything and completely took our other friend's side. It's been a year since all this happened, and I'm realizing that it's making it hard for me to move on from all the hurt this caused me. I'm so grateful to have new friends at college that really supported.

Me during this time.

I'm doing so well in school, I'm starting my new internship next week, and i have a really fruitful social life. Everything is so amazing right now, but I can't seem to shake this sad feeling I have. I'm going to a mutual friend's wedding in a few months, so I know I'm going to see my two former friends there, and I'm starting to get really anxious. I don't want to be friends again. I just want to heal from this. Would love any suggestions, Love you both? Oh, I hate when girls do that.

You know, I'm sitting here, you know what? I was sitting here feeling so sorry for her, and also thanking God that I am not that age anymore.

I know, but how about how great her life is?

That I'm saying, she's got to you know.

I'd walk in with the best outfit I've ever had, feeling confident, head up, shoulders back, oh hello, and keep on going.

You know I'm different. I would walk in hurt. It hurts. But you know what, people come into your life sometimes for a reason and a season. I hate that.

Always for a reason. Oh well, always for a reason.

People come into your life, always for reason. Always okay, all right, a reason in a season. But here's the thing. She doesn't have to go in and be a martyr, and and she doesn't have to go in and be a bitch, Anonymous. You can go in there, like Susan said, do you go into your best outfit and call hi, Louise and Thelma so nice to see you, and walk away and go get out at the bar whatever.

Thelma's first, of course, correct me.

Okay, Susan and Kathy, how about that one, Kathy and Susan whatever. So I'm just saying, you know, you can go in and say hello. I know it's her fight. I don't mean to make light of it. I know it's hurtful what happened, and and you know what she took the other one side.

Yeah, she's not a friend telling her, and then how many months later is believes her.

She don't talk to her.

That's because that one that was telling these stories told that one that she said something about her people like that, Karma is a bitch.

It will come.

Well, I don't think it's karma this girl.

No, not for her, for that girl that started all this.

Yeah, but you know what, their drama is going to continue, and Anonymous, you're just the latest casualty. Right There's gonna be other issues, other people that she starts rumors about it. It's just I know it's it sounds so simple, but Anonymous, it really is this simple. Move on with your life, enjoy your new friends, make create a life for yourself. You're enjoying college. Just go to the wedding. Who knows, you might meet somebody there who cares.

Knowing that pain will never really go away, It'll always be there. That's something that really hurt you. But you're having such a good life right now. Just put it in the background. You'll never forget it. Forgive them forgiving people helps you heal, that's right, and I always forgive them for being so ugly.

But yes, but Susan, I think you can give people but still not want to be around them. So anonest, absolutely, yeah, forgive them. Go in and have a great time at the wedding.

Fly in, look good and have a great man on your arm and have a ball, dance away, eat, drink and be merried.

Screw them And that that about wraps that question up. Okay, Susan, it is time for our favorite thing.

I don't kathy.

If y'all we've played moral quandary before, Susan struggles. Her moral quandary is figuring out how to play moral quandary. All right, let's go, Susan, start us off for the first one. Come on, let's go.

A guy that was really rude to you and the bartender at the bar leaves his receipt and you notice he did and tip, do you confront him or do you let it go?

What would I do? What would you do?

When you asked me this question?

Okay, I can tell you a guy that was really rude to you at the bartender. I think you would want to say something like, hey, not only are you rude, but you're a cheap ass.

I definitely would you would say that, Absolutely not in that way, or say, hey, you are not a very nice person and he didn't do anything to you.

No, I don't know.

If I don't think, I probably wouldn't talk about the tip. I would talk about.

The rudeness definitely.

Well excuse me, excuse me. Yeah, I would do that, But that's not what they're asking. The quandary here is which you still struggle with, is do you confront about the tip about he didn't leave a tip and you notice he did he didn't tip the bartender.

I would give no.

Yeah, I wouldn't say, we're just you know, there's idiots, you know, idiots and assholes. Everyone has one. You know, there's nothing you can do about it. There's nothing. Just I was just gonna say, if you feel that badly leave him a double tip and all's well in the world.

Oh God, all right, Okay.

A friend of yours who you know is really insecure, will often make little snide comments towards you when she's feeling really down. For example, you'll be taking pictures with your friends and she'll say things like, are you done taking pictures of yourself?

Now?

It's a judgmental Do you return the favorite, call her out or let it go because you know she's in a bad place. What would you do? You'd call her ass out so fast?

Absolutely?

And what would I do?

You'd say, I'll be done in a minute.

Hold one, No, I would see you know me better, Susan, I would not. I I would. I would like to make a joke of it, because I would feel. That's what I do when I'm done in a minute. Yeah, when I get secure, I feel badly, I'd be like, what, what's the matter? I'm kidding? What you can't afford the film? You know? I'd make some kind of a silly joke.

I'll be done in a minute. You want to get in with me? Yeah, yeah, that's easy, all right. Your best friend hooks up with your ex at a party. Oh, he's the ex that absolutely shattered your heart that you've been secretly hoping to get back together with. Jesus, they're killing me today. Your best friend only knows that he Oh, your best friend only knows that he broke your heart. She never asks about him because she knows it's a sore subject.

Do you confront her? It's your best friend?

Susan, Susan, Susan, Susan, Susan, what what I do. I'm thinking, kat let me let me jump in here. You'd go after with knives.

No, I would never do that.

I'm kidding. You'd go after right away.

I think you would say some thing right. Of course I would, both of us would.

Of course I would, and I would be nice about it. But you know what, Like I said, humor and being funny hides a lot of pain.

I would be ouch one word ouch.

See, I'd be hurt.

Yes, well, my heart would be breaking.

Yeah, I mean you broke your heart. Wait? Can I ask a question? If it's not it's not part of the moral quand but just so we're clear, But she says, you were secretly hoping good? What is wrong with women? Why do they want to get back together with men that break their hearts?

Can we just can we just talk about not for it? They can't understand it.

I think women don't understand sometimes the you know, the meaning of love and independence and all that. But it blows my mind.

He broke my heart, shat hope and so bad he would come back to.

Wait, she didn't break her heart, Susan, he shattered. I mean, really, you want to go back for war for that? What you didn't you want to have your heart ripped out now that it shattered?

Best friend? Hoax up? Okay, wait, hoox up? Kathy? What's that mean, Kathy?

Up? Hook up means sex. Either he's on the top or she is.

Oh, good grief, I got to look this up.

Okay, after your daughter, she'll tell you.

You and your partner are friends. Are with friends at a bar. When you come back from the bathroom, you see a random girl giggle and grab his arm.

How do you react? Your boyfriend doesn't engage and just continues his conversation with your friend group, but she is still locked on him, flipping her hair and flirting.

Oh what would I do?

It's probably the same thing.

I would go right on up, give him a nice kiss, and let her know who he's with.

Excuse me, you want to let going out? He's thinking move along. As you'd say move along.

I would absolutely say I, No, see.

You fling that hair again. I'm going to cut it off.

No. I would look at him. I would look at her my eyes. My kids say, mom, you have crazy eyes. I would give her my crazy eyes, which, let me translate my crazy eyes. Bitch. I'm giving you two seconds, so you get your hands off of him, and then I'm gonna let loose and I lift weights and do push up, so you don't want to screw around with me. Get the f away from my boy friend. What's wrong with all these insecure women though that?

Well, I think they're young, that's all you know. Wisdom comes with age.

I mean listen, I would just like to find a guy that's some to fork with.

Oh, this is the next one's good. Go ahead, keav all right.

Your coworker, who has become your good friend is hooking up. What does that mean, Susan?

See I still soaking up with the boss.

Oh? Like that's never happened before. What planet are you? Okay? Your coworker who has become your good friend is hooking up with the boss of your division who is married. Subsequently, she gets promotions and perks at work. What do you do? Oh?

I be pissed.

No, Oh my god, what would I do?

I'm googling hook up.

Wait, you know what I'd be doing. I'm gonna go hook up with the boss. I want the perks. No, you would not do anything. You would not You would not Kathy.

What Kathy hooking up means meeting people for the purpose of having sex, generally not having any sort of relationship afterwards.

Wait a minute, Susan, what did you not just see the dictionary? According to Kathy, I told you what it meant. Hooking up is just like, let's go have sex. You might mine, you might make it. If you're lucky and you spend the night, you might get a bagel out.

Money means one and done.

It can't. Yeah, usually a hookups just like I'm at had sex in a week? Who's available? I mean, good god?

What would I do about the boss guy?

Okay, well I think my co worker has become my good friend.

You would say something to her, but again you would do it privately. Yeah, of course, I mean I make jokes. I said sleep with the boss because I want the perks. No, I would, and you know what, I wouldn't sad thing to the friend. What's the point? What is the point? She's not interested in mine?

I'd be careful. I'd say I'd be careful if I were you. He is married.

You, I'm sorry. Do you think she has an IQ of ten? Do you think she doesn't know he's married?

This is fun that I got. At least we're not crying. Just that one broke my heart. Oh God, all right, pleo viso, it's over again.

Why does this go so fast?

We're having fun? And that's all for today's episode of Golden Hour. I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as we did. And I want to know what you people think.

Is it just us because we're over sixty?

I want to know what some young people think about today's episode.

Yes, please, thank you so much right in. We want, we truly do want to hear what you think. If you're not busy sleeping with your boss or throwing the hand off your boyfriend's girlfriend's shoulder, whatever in the hair, yeah whatever, stop flipping your hair and write us a comment. All you have to do is go to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit your questions to us.

Or your comments and listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast.

Thanks for listening to this was great fun.

See you next time.

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