Today on “Happy Hour,” Joe and Serena are with Sam N. from “The Bachelorette”! The notorious “Love Virgin” gives us the inside scoop on his quest for love. We kick off today’s episode learning a little more about Sam N. and his relationship with romance. Then, we get into one of this week’s biggest moments: Sam’s Thunder from Down Under performance — how did that plan come to be?
Tune in now to hear all this and more, and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode!
Hey, everyone, welcome back to bed for Happy Hour. I'm Joe and I'm Serena and we are here with our guest today, Sam. And can I call you Sammy? Do you has anybody call you Sammy? Sam?
Uh? My real name is actually Somon. You can call me soon if you want. Okay, So, if you guys need more of the rings character Sarmon, just instead the same with an RC with an M.
Yeah you're Persian correct, Yes, okay, yeah, because it is very difficult between you because you there is a Sam N and a Sam M.
Yes, which it's not uncommon to have, you know, people on the season with the same name, like I was Serena P and then there was Serena C.
Actually quite quite a similar situation.
But we were saying, it's so hard because you were talking a lot about obviously you and the other Sam from this last episode.
And it just sounds so similar. Sam M versus Sam N.
Total juxtaposition of each other.
You're so different, you be more different.
Yeah, yeah, he was a first impression. I was last on hair blue eyes. I got black hair, brown eyes. You know, I'm just kidding, but.
Yeah, no, truly, you look different in your personality different, but your names. Unfortunately for us and recaving this episode sounds so similar.
I actually want to get into a little bit of your your relationship with the other Sam, but I was before we do. Let's get into a little bit about your background, where you're from, where you live now, and how you got on the show.
Yeah, so a little bit about my background is so like what I do for work is I started a private aqui firm I was nineteen that building skills automotive shops. I started in smart shops. So if you live in California, that's what it was like my niche I lived at home when I was nineteen. I was raised from a traditional Persian household, so like growing up, I education was like a huge emphasis in my in my family. So I kind of focused on that through high school and then I didn't really, I guess, get into any university I really want to go into. And my passions kind of alert to like more into like going into business. So I started my business.
Do you still have do you still have the private equity company?
Yeah, so that's what I'm asking. So I'm a little bit more absentee now. So essentially for me, I went back to school for my family, Like yeah, no, it's it's it's day today, It's it's it's brick and mortar. So they they're kind of like just kind of steady state at this moment.
Okay, what wait what what? What is? What do you invest in when you invest in this company?
No, so I bootstrapped, so I started to So basically I started first my first business in my first shop is a small station. So if you guys live in California, it's essentially it's a way for you to reach your like you get your vehicle like emissions checked. And then basically because I was in a tech or a mechanic like my advance, it's like my my backgrounds, I'm technical, right, so and I lived at homes, It's very easy for me to scale. So I ended up just finding like units all around southern California and is building them out and then basically tracting customers from that. And I guess like to kind of go into it because I've never had a relationship till jen. To be honest, I.
Never had not in not like elementary school, high school.
Elementary school, I had what.
You call a Persian glow up. So for me, I never had female attention until I was like about twenty two twenty three. It's the reason why I gone to business. And like I guess, I don't want to say I was marginalized. I grew up in Carlsbad, which is a predominantly like surfer like like type of demographic. Right, it's the best way to describe it. And I was always kind of a misfit in an introvert. It is the best way to describe it. Where I'm a huge cliche, as you guys will know. So for me, I like loved watching movie growing up. I love playing video games, and I pretty much kind of like isolated myself in that way growing up. And I was always behind computer and then pretty much that was kind of high school that I was like my high school. I never I never went to prom. I didn't do It's not like I didn't want to. It was just one of those things where I just never had that to let's say, the attention or that type of way. You know, you'll see, I didn't even how to hold your hand at a moment that it's an art, you know, like like I was thinking about how you hold a girl's hand. You know, it's just Uh. Yeah, So I didn't have that in high school, and then I wanted because I wanted that, right, I always wanted to be in a relationship or have a partner that supported me. That's where I was like, you know what, I won't let me focus on like education and work, right, let me build something out of myself so I can become someone. Right.
I have a question.
So you said that you grew up in a traditional Persian household, and obviously education is very important. What was the expectation from your family maybe on what your relationship life would look like. Obviously you found a lot of success in your career and you know your education, so I'm sure they're very proud and satisfied in that aspect of your life.
Was there any pressure to like find a wife and get married.
No, because I guess yes as I'm getting older. But my brother, so I'm an older brother, he he married two years ago, his first girlfriend. And I know there's an emphasis on this where I never thought about this previously as well, like this puts a lot of pressure on both of us or on the person, like saying that's first girlfriend you want to marry. But that's just something I personally like like but once he married and like the whole getting kids in aspect, it's kind of on him there, off of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my parents are always just wondering, like when is it going to happen? You know, they're like is he even like does he even like girls as a yoke? But like it's just because it's just one of those things where yeah, they really they're actually very supportive. Be coming onto the show.
I was gonna ask that nuptive.
Yeah. They My dad's extremely supportive and both of my parents are extremely supportive, and they both just want they want they want their stone to fine love you know what I'm saying.
And yeah, so how do you think then, of the term love virgin that's now been I mean you kind of coined it for yourself.
Yeah, that's that's what I was going to get into because somebody, you know, you're a love virgin. You're very green to just relationships in general, and not really having any experience in that field. What made you want to go on a show like The Bachelorette where it is about dating and not only is it about dating, Like millions of people are going to watch your journey, your.
Journey of dating like for the first time too.
Yeah, I thought it's exactly that, right for me. I started making videos a year ago some first off comfortable from a canvas to be myself or try to be myself be there. But I thought it would be an opportunity where there's no more excuses, right, this is the first time my life were because I don't know, right, I didn't know how to navigate. I don't know how to like like open up or become like just have a conversation. I feel like the moment I like I actually like a girl or want to progress something, I'd become robotic stille, right, and I don't know how to get past that where I'm extremely emotional but I might come off with stoic in moments. But I thought it was incredible. It was it was something where I would have to date a beautiful girl, go on phenomenal dates that I won't have to like think about like, you know, sending this place up or sending this thing up. It would be a chance for me to actually like find love and no work. So I excuse this is truly a moment where I was like, let me make this happen, you know, And then obviously the term love version where I see like both ends, right, It just depends on you view it like class app full or half empty. I was being here from a perspective of like like that I haven't experienced and I want to kind of be fully vulnerable with Jen and kind of put everything out on the table because you don't have so many moments with her. Right. I didn't want to say YO have a dog named Wagny in the beginning, right, because that's there's a substance that I want to be like, Hey, these are my values where I come from. This is what I'm looking for. I'm really looking forward to find a relationship, you know what I'm saying.
That's so interesting because you describe yourself as someone that's very laser focused on what's like their goal at the time. Right, Like you said you were all in on your business, and that is kind of like one of the reasons why you didn't have a girlfriend. So this environment, as much as it's unique that you're going on a dating show having never dated any not dat, I've never had a girlfriend.
No, I never dated either.
To be honest, I never dated that. Okay, So like you're very very great.
Can I ask you a question. I don't want to offend you. But of course you're a love virgin, are you? Are you a virgin as well?
No? No, no, no, So so I've obviously had relations with like like so for dating itself, I've never like went past uh like it was always like a dinner or coffee or at lunch, right, Okay, it's like really treating that as a date. I think it's always more of an intro and meet and greet. I've never done like a physical day where like walking on the beach or picnic or something like that's actually romantic in my eyes, you know that.
So it's a lot of like first maybe second dates that like getting to know each other. But you've never been like dating where you're really investing in one person.
Yeah yeah, yeah, you know, and then like uh exactly.
So then when you but like hook but you've hooked up with girls, so yeah, because you go to bars and like like hearing okay, so you do, Okay, so.
You're not like not it's it for me like I've tried to uh like obviously, like right now I'm in my parents' home right side of place in La all this stuff, so obviously like like getting with girls here and there, But for me, there was no like I always felt guilty, right, is the best way to describe it. I always felt guilty posting any of that stuff because there was no connection or no like, it was just pure lust, right, And then for me, I didn't like that just and that's why I like, I don't know, it's like it's not anything like more than that, it's just.
Yeah, right, what you're craving is the connection component, which is how you found yourself on the Bachelor.
Do you think do you think that was do you think you just never met the right person or do you think a little bit of that is also on you of maybe you went into it closed off and if you weren't able to open up.
So that's also where I want to tie in with like me getting a real never having a relationship either in high school. It's not like my parents like you know, like we could do come a traditional background, but it's not like they're against that, right, Yeah, it's that there's there's two sides to it, right. Well, for me, if I view it like yeah, like I'm idea is slightly closed off. I want to open up, but I don't know how to right and then yeah, exactly.
So going into this show, what we're kind of like the goals and intentions that you set for yourself having this be like kind of your first dating experience.
I wanted to trust the process and basically let like be guided through the best way to describe it. So for me, I was treating everything as like this is my first this is my moment too really just learn more about myself and actually pursue love and find love, you know with it because for me, the partner I'm looking for is someone that makes me feel like I'm enough, you know. And Jenna at various moments was validating me continuously throughout the journey.
This show can be a little bit I'm gonna say freddy at times because you're essentially you're essentially in an environment with a bunch of dudes, know, buying over one one woman. How are you in that? M Yeah environment?
Yeah, I mean you said you were you were in a frat when you went to school, right.
Yeah, these where bucket the sides for me that I wanted to like checkbox and even when I joined so I was in Pike and then even when I joined it was it just was one of those things where I just did as a checklist right as I go, I want to let me just join and see what it's about. And then I did it, and now's that. But as far as like going into that show, I really prioritized myself in gen throughout it, you know, not not saying that. I was like not trying to like be with the like have this eternal bomb with the guys. I think that we all share a really special connection with one another for being through this unique experience. But yeah, no, my goal my goal there, and I'm like, you know, I can grow out in moments as well. You know. It's just one of those things for me. I went in that show specifically for Jen.
How did you get on the Bacherette?
I got dm'd, So yeah, yeah, I got DMS by casting director And basically for me, I just kind of had a bundsmenttality with it. I was like, Okay, this'd be kind of really cool, this would be happening, and then with the casting process it's always like you never really know until like the last minute. I was very surprised too. It was just one of those moments where it was just kind of like, I guess meant to be on how to say yeah?
And then how did your night one go? So you get at the limo and you go, we see your intro. You immediately tell her that you're a love virgin in your intro. What was your hope with that interaction?
Yeah? I was hoping to basically my entire like like journey on this show is just to put all my guards down right and basically just kind of put everything out there and give her like as much substance of me as much as possible where that we can kind of build from that, you know. And I wanted to kind of start the foundation of the bare minimum, which is the gay I'm that experience with girls like as far as like intimacy and like emotional intimacy, and that's why I wanted to progress more of an emotional intimacy versus physical intimacy through this show.
Yeah, that makes that makes sense. Okay, so let's jump to let's jump to this week's episode where like I personally, I would I would hate having to go on stage and strip and or to do this this whole thing. I mean, I would be extremely awkward doing it.
Joe and I in our first date in Paradise.
We had to dress up in like Nacho Lee, very cost shoes, such a fit.
But like it's really out of his comfort zone.
So I feel like he really related to watching this episode because you too seemed like you were super anxious.
Yeah, are we are we picking that up correctly? Were you anxious going into into the state.
I was more, yeah, I would say, anxious, more uncomfortable, yeah, and then more. It was just like I said, for me, I want I'm on here to find love and to progress my relationship with Jack, you know, and this by doing so me stripping. Also, I come from a I don't I don't like to pull like religion or like like values or culture into aspects as well. But that wouldn't be like represent who I was, who I am and all that stuff. Right For me, it was just it was it was a lot, right, it was a lot witnessing all that. It was just one of those moments for me. I'm a cliche, I'm a romantic. So when I was looking at that, I was like, you know, this is yeah, okay.
So during the the the catwalk, I call it cat cat the thunder down underwalk, we see you go and then you stop the mic and you essentially say like Jen, I am falling in love with you.
And I was in the moment and blacked out. So I was starting so you know, because you're frond like two hundred people, right, Yeah, there's there's a like there's an audience there, and I want to basically kind of say I don't want to back out on the date because the last date previously, I couldn't do it just for the dairy, right, the kind of the dairy on on it. So then that's where I got kind of you know, I was like, I want to actually showcase and partake with this date and make her known that I'm here for her, and then I'm feeling the connection, and I did in a way that was essentially that would best represent me. And I guess where it comes down to it. Love isn't linear, you know, like love at first sight is a thing at moments that happens to people earlier or not. For me, I was I really like feel that spark with Jen, and at the same time I was I don't want to say to appointed And at first off, Jen.
Validated me by the way, yeah we we do see that.
Yeah she liked that, But which I which meant the world to me, right because that shows her character and her like her as a person. But going back on it, for me, it's like I want to we're want to show for to find love. Right, nine other dudes before me, I think it was nine like Kat walked and when g shrink thongs and shape their booty, you know, and we were all normalized to that, right, and that was like normal right, everybody liked that. But what people got like was shocking and that cost people started laughing. Was was a dude that says, hey, I want to show of love, Like, hey, I'm starting to feel these feelings for you, you know. And I thought like that was just kind of for me. That just put me in a wrong headspace after that, because I was like, my intent is here, I'm here, I want I want to find this. Am I like being a fool? Now?
So tell us how you felt going into that plan of I'm gonna bear at all with my emotions for Jen, and then how you felt after you had done it.
So pre going into it, I felt really good, right. I wanted to best represent myself, my family and basically showed Jen take a moment to showcase myself to Jen and basically be like, hey, I'm here for you. I don't care about anything. I felt really good about it. Posted I felt terrible. I felt like a fool. I felt it was very it was it was really awkward.
Well before before before yeah, before you get into the people laughing at you, which because that sucks, and I would feel the same way when you did say that. To clarify, you didn't mean it correct.
Of course, so you can't remember this in this In this, in this realm, every emotion is heightened, right, So everything is heightened.
Uh.
And basically the feelings I felt for Jen, these are really new feelings for me as well. Right, We're all these conversations we kind of built from one another. Was we're kind of building from that, right, And it was these new emotions. I'm like, hey, I'm starting to feel this really sharp connection between you and I, you know, and I want to I want to I want this date for me to progress that and really show that to you. And and then yeah, and then pretty much afterwards, Yeah, like I got laughed at.
Was the hardest part of that moment, the response that you got from your peers and just making you feel I don't know, I don't want to put words your mouth, but didn't make you.
Feel regretful or embarrassed or what was that feeling?
Like, I want to say regretful was more embarrassment and I felt like a fool, you know, I felt like I felt like weak, like spineless.
I don't know how Yeah. But but but also Jen did validate exactly. Was there any part of you that was kind of like, even though these guys may be laughing, like I may get the last laugh.
Here now, yes, during the moment. No, right during the moment, I was I was you know, for me, even growing up, I wasn't like like I was always just kind of the butt at the joke right growing up it's just kind of like a defense mechanism on my side, be escapegoat I would because I would take it. And then but basically for me, I yeah, I just you know, in my I got I got in my head, you know. I like after that moment when you kind of like, you know, people are just kind of like they're like, oh, no, that's cool for you to do that, but you obviously know they're judging you immediately.
You know you're you're embarrassed. You're like yeah, You're not the only person ever to be embarrassed in front of a group, like it sucks. I all get it. We've all been there.
We all were naked.
I was just you know, emotionally naked.
Yeah. Yeah, and then that's when I felt the weakest, you know.
Yeah.
So then let's jump to the night portion you're going in, having kind of left on that note, Yeah, we see you. Let me ask this, actually, did you address the men before you spoke with Jen?
Do you remember?
Yeah?
So obviously I was hearing within the like I was just hearing that, like, you know, I don't know how to say, like what's the fact proper thing? But it's like I knew they were like making fun of me.
Right And when you say that, like what do can you pinpoint some of the guys? Wasn't all the guys like it was?
It was it was like it was like a like a majory. I don't want to pinpoint anybody calling anyone out, because you know, everyone's entitled to like whatever they want to feel. But I kind of want to address it in a way where like like let's just like if you have something to say, let's say it here right now. I tried to, but I didn't know how to because I felt so weak. But I just want to take the punches at that moment, right, I just was like, let's just move on from this. This was a very like embarrassing moment of me, and I want to extremely vulnerable and I just want to, like, I want to move forward. I don't want to like, you know, I don't It's like I don't want to say this bully, but I didn't want to feel like, well like I just I felt like really like, you know, uncomfortable, and I want to just kind of like just kind of like just address it, you know.
And so do you feel like people were kind of like making fun of you or that moment behind your back and you were like, let's just call this out, say it to my face.
So that's all move exactly. That's exactly what it was. I was like, And then I can basically talk to you about why right if if you if I owe you an explanation, you know, And that's what I was, That's what I was intending to do.
We saw that Devin kind of spoke up in your defense. What was that moment like for you?
I felt really so Devin and I have liked a like I have a romance right like basically, Devon and I kicked it off pretty well, just because, like I was saying, this is like it's like Hunger Games in there, there's a different districts. There's like a district with a lot of people, and then there's like these mani districts, And Devin and I were like our own little districts right where we both were here for the same reason, but we both were in our own lanes. And I always respected the way Devin did it. Sure, can you go on in more like, but it's just Devan right in that moment. I really respect him though. It was a moment where I couldn't speak for myself and he spoke up for me, and that shows a lot about his character and it really yeah, like he stood up for me. There's nothing more to it than that.
Yeah.
And then after you called out the guys, do you feel like things settled on that front?
No? I wanted so for me. I wanted I wanted peace with everyone. I didn't want any arguments between Sam Thomas and Devin. I just wanted it all to be okay because I'm like, hey, guys, we're all here to find love, Like, let's just focus on the main goal here, our relations with Jen m But it just made it worse, you know, it just made it like more like divided and it straight up like a Game of Thrones in there.
Yeah, it's a little unfortunate. It's a little unfortunate for you because not every I feel like, not every season is like this. We're actually seeing it. We're seeing it a lot, and in this season with the guys, they is more of that like hunger games ish like vibe.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like Game of gen like, yeah, whender you die.
So you but you do end up talking to Jen, Yeah, whatever time it is in the night what I doesn't really matter. And then how do you feel during that conversation?
And then after I felt so during the conversation my mind was just you know, was I was in.
My head scrim excuse me, no, just like a mess.
Yeah. It was just because it was like I felt like I don't want to put too much pressure on her. At the same time, I wanted her to know like my intent is period and that my feelings I am feeling, whether that's like it's just one of those moments for me. I wanted to kind of, you know, just kind of explain myself and kind of tell her like listen, like these feelings are new to me that even when I hold your hand or in conversations, I can't like I'm thinking about holding your hands when I'm holding you, like when I'm talking to you, do you know what I'm saying? And for me, that's like I can't, you know, like if I I have like severe acy, I'm like thinking of like twenty things and I'm like trying to like progress and just show her that like, hey, I'm who I am because we're gonna you know, propose her and like within like a month, right, So it's like I want to I want you to be like I want this to last and be forever. So and then she was very understanding. She was extremely extremely understanding, and that meant a lot to me. Posted just even like yeah, it just it just showcases her character and I can see why she's a PA.
Do you do you feel like because the show, you know, the point of the show is to end in a proposal or an engagement, do you think that you put a little more pressure on yourself because of that?
So if I could change one thing going back on the show is not to have an expectation. I went in, I'm like the most serious and serious guy, right, Like, people don't think I'm They treat thinking I'm on serious whatever they mean me like, I'm very serious when I came to it, because for me, I was this is this is my soulmate, right, this is someone I'm not It's like till death do is the part, right. So, but coming in with that mentality even with the dates too, like having an expectation on these dates, it's always never going to be not you never know what it's going to be, so you're always going to be in some sort of way let down or you know, be surprised. And if there's one thing I would go is no expectations, right, don't expect to I called her like my wife immediately when I came in, right because I was like, this is going to be the girl I've know. I was saying proposing, I was saying, this is gonna be my wife, you know so.
And you know what, I will say, that does seem to be the mentality amongst.
Your caste as well, Like I feel like a lot of the guys this season, not just you, were seeing, like with the the the mentality of like, I'm proposing to this girl this is my wife, which we don't always see. I feel like that kind of mentality is also infectious amongst the group of like you're envisioning her as your wife, even though it's so early on.
Yeah, of course, well you got you know, X amount of weeks to make like it's it's that you know, and and it's very heidened, everything very hid and so yeah, she she is. She's an amazing girl.
I just wanted to say, I think it was really good that you doubled down on what you said and you said to Jen like, no, I meant it, and I wanted to be vulnerable and this is the feelings that I'm feeling. Did any part of you consider backtracking after that moment and taking it back so it wouldn't be.
Back it's more No, I said, I want to own it, right, But is there hesitation where I'm like, are these emotions just because of the environment? Is this emotions like there? I was questioning because when the guy's laughing at me, because it is it's a little bit early, right, but I say the people are gonna say it within a week or two anyways, right, Like it's like one of those things where it's like, oh, it's say whatever, but like it's not linear, right, And then that's where my confusion is, Like it's not linear? Do you know what I'm saying? And but I really want to make sure that I was there for her, and that's what I was, you know, And that's and that's.
Why we forgot to ask you this at the beginning.
We usually always ask this, did you watch the show before you went on it?
I should have watched a lot more episodes apparently, But basically i've want, I've I've I've I've watched the show. Yeah, I've watched the show, but I haven't like wasn't like like every season type guy, but I've seen like I've seen a few seasons.
Okay, Do you think that in any way shaped your expectations coming on the show of what your journey might look like.
No, I think my me being kind of like a novice to the show was really what made me, I guess unique or like authentic. Put it that way. If I have an expectator, I try to come in just being just myself and trust the process.
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I think I think a lot of people go in that way too, and that's usually what makes for more authentic TV. All right, how about you want to play a rapid fire game with us?
For sure? Yeah, let's go.
All right, so this is just rapid fire. First thing that comes to your mind. It's just we're gonna get to know Sam a little better, all right? Sure, all right, go to drink at a bar tequila soda. Favorite comfort movie or TV.
Show, Let's say Dumb and Dummer for movie.
Favorite food or cuisine.
Food would be xerish pulo, which is a like it's a specific dish. What is it? It's basically chicken and rice with like these specific serish, which is Persian cranberries. That's my that's my favorite, like like my favorite dish, or steak and potatoes.
Best councert you've gone to.
I only went to Coach on like twenty sixteen, and that's it. I've never been other concerts besides that or anything else.
Favorite way to unwind HM.
Recently has been Playing Fast with My Dog.
I mean, favorite quality about Jen supported Who's night One little entrance this season was your favorite?
I would say, uh, I think the Keems stood out really well. To me. I think that was awesome just purely because of like, uh like because I watched him walk in and then I was kind of like scared because I was like, dude, you're gonna like break the lights, you know, And I'm like a huge height guy, you know, I'm scared of heights a little bit. So I was like like anxious that these lights are gonna throw it, like like fall down.
His was so memorable, Like, even thinking back tonight one, this is the first one that comes to my mind.
It's not a version. I'm kidding.
Love versions out there, night owl or early bird.
I'll say both, but early bird typically.
What is your love language?
Ah, I don't. I don't know, be honest.
What is a dream date you'd take Jen on.
For me?
Uh?
The way I always describe a dream day would be just a casuals date with the perfect date, like right, it's like in the line the perfect date. But I would say something really simple just because it's something that we can continuously do every day.
Cool. And if you could sum up Jens season of The Bachelorette in one word, what would it be boxing not kidding?
Uh uh, surprise, I would say surprising. I would say, very surprising.
Nice. I like that. All right, before we let you go, is there anything that you could tease that's big coming up but not spoil.
Let's just say the tea gets.
Bigger, Yes, bigger, the tea is gonna grow. Well, that is it for the episode. Sam, Thank you so much for joining us. We really appreciate it.
Thank you, no, thank you guys both for having me. It was an awesome experience.
And to our listeners, make sure you subscribe. We have exclusive interviews coming up every week from guys from Gen season and yeah, make sure you stay tuned.
Yeah, we'll have episode four recap coming out, more exclusive interviews, so don't.
Pre to subscribe to Bachelor Happy Hour. Thanks for listening. Bye,