That Time a Hooter's Girl Tried To....

Published Jan 8, 2025, 8:00 PM

We're Cleaning Out the Sound Fridge, featuring actor David Schwimmer, plus--a very special Hooter's Girl! 

All that food we prepared over the holidays, it's gone bad.

It's time to clean out the sound fridge. One more thing.

I'm strung andy, One more thing that reminds me.

Got back from vacation, looked in the refrigerator and realized I had a good portion of gravy left that I hadn't used. I thought I'd used all the gravy, but it was hiding behind something else. I wasted good turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing homemade gravy. That's one of the worst things I've ever done in my life.

Gravy abuse. Oh God, dang it, gravy waste.

Yeah. I spiral cut ham. We had so much ham. It was so good. I thought, yeah, we'll get to it, and then I just didn't. Then I realized, oh man, it's been the fridge a long damn time, and so I could have just thrown it in the freezer or whatever. Had just the world's greatest ham sandwiches, and.

I had to throw it out.

I think how much happer we both would be if we had eaten more. That's not a weird thing. My brother and I were having that conversation just the Maybe it's the way you grew up or I don't know if we're that way as beasts, or my mom grew up in the depression or what it is. But just the like wasting food, eating it so you don't waste it is dumb. I mean, it makes no logical sense to eat something only you're already full. You just don't want to waste it. You don't want to go in the trash. It seems like a crime against humanity.

But it's not gonna do.

Mean, he good to be fatter and fuller and more miserable as I sleep.

Right. All of those laws and mores and morals, they were developed in a world that wasn't, you know, swimming in food like you know, the modern world, particularly the Western world is.

We're at the cracker barrel and my brother had one chicken tender left, and he was so full, and he said, I can't waste it. I'm not gonna do it. He tried to get it down. I mean, he was already struggling. He finally tapped out, I can't do it.

Wow, that's yeah.

You know, Lenny and I when she was here over the holidays, went out for sushi, and we both you know, they are like two pieces left, and I'm like.

You could have that one. She's like good because I want we both.

Then we're both like trying to contain her nausea for the next hour.

I'm yelty of that with sushi for sure.

Yeah you too.

There's like one or two pieces left. You can't do that for some reason. It's against some law.

Yeah.

Henry had this really expensive, great steak that we got at the Gordon Ramsay restaurant.

He ate like half of I was already stuffed. It's just like, you can't throw it away.

Your whole thing. About what percentage of steaks taken back to hotel rooms get eaten was in my head none so zero.

It either goes the treash.

But if I eat it on any yack, What a stupid conversation to even have with your head.

We got that great note from a listener that said it's going to end.

Up as quote unquote waste.

Either way, it doesn't have to go through you first, right, So do they throw it away at the restaurant or does do.

You poop it?

I mean, what's either way it's going away.

Now, me being in pain and fatter is a better use of that food.

For better for humanity.

Yeah, all right, so let's clean out the metaphorical fridge, the sound fridge.

It's funny. Oh thanks, metal guys. Sorry.

Our first clip is of America's sweetheart David Shwimmer from Friends, among other roles, plus Robert Kardashian on The OJ Show, and plus he was the ultimately unsuccessful squad commander in Band of Brothers. And I was started to rewatch that because it's one of my favorite things that's ever been on the screen, large or small. Uh, And then I realized, quickly, Oh my god, that's right. David Swimmers in.

This is that I've believe it or not.

He is very, very good in it. But he is rass, right who I hated on Friends?

And you expect him to go around a corner and Joey's sitting there in the recliner. Is that what happened is permanently ross no matter what he does.

Yeah, yeah, but no, I do not fault him in that role.

He's terrific, I think, but I just have to get past the fact that he's ross.

Uh.

Well, we'll go ahead and play the clip and I have a comment number ten, Michael.

I got a lot of random people shouting pivot at me, which sometimes is startling, I thought, But also it's just a reminder that the series lives on.

Which is which do you recall pivot?

That's funny.

Somebody said that mean to me last Sunday night. When I changed my I'm driving to Kansas to I'm flying to Washington, d C.

They send me the pivot. I don't remember that reference. They're trying to move a couch him and trying to get around the corner. Oh, that's that's hilarious.

As soon as you said that, I can picture the entire scene unfolding. He right. I have a friend who's got this encyclopedia memory of Seinfeld episodes. Plus he likes to do the elliptical in the afternoon at his house, and he watches Seinfeld a lot while he does that, And so we'll be playing golf for talking and he'll say, that's just like the episode you remember Seinfeld when it I mean, like, no, I don't remember that at all, But man, is he hardcore. I don't tend to retain those things.

I don't either.

A dear friend of mine has that exact same setup with friends and always going oh that one time at channel.

I'm like, no, I know, I don't know.

Them like that.

I I'm this is one of the reasons I always attended classes in college. If I see and hear something, it's in my brain forever. I just yeah, and so like I remember TV shows, I remember, like I remember whatever.

It's funny.

That's never extended entertainment for me for whatever reason. Anyway, Michael, do we need to know anything about eleven to enjoy it?

Just a woman gets pulled over her duy. She happens to be a Hooters waitress. She's twenty two years old, and this is the interaction between her and the cop.

All Right, we're gonna make out here, going to wake out here?

Pick out of heat? Bro bro, I got at.

Okay, do you want to try this first exercise for me? I will do anything for you, daddy, all.

Right, can you put your feet together.

In your hands?

Okay? Are you wearing?

Are you wearing carses? Hey?

Sophia of God? Two seconds?

Why he's such a nerd? Bro Oh when she's drunk?

There, No, she was drunk a hammer kid? What she wear in the Hooter's outfit? Or did that just happen to be a profession that just happened to be a profession.

I don't know if she was wearing the outfit or not.

I was that first line. We ought to make out? Is that what she said? Now we're not gonna make out. It's funny.

In her drunken state, at some point she fell back on what has worked for her whole light, her whole life is being sexy girl. Yeah, I know how I'll get out of this hell for you, daddy.

That was behind the wheel of a car. That's what scares me.

If you don't know kidding, no kidding, she was killing you drunk easily. You gotta leave out the I need to pee so bad before you hit on him, because.

That just it's not sexy.

Yeah well right, yeah, well, which was Wait a minute, you're calling me daddy and offered me to plus you gotta will go, and then come no, I can't let you.

Go any red blooded male. You insinuate that you would trade some sort of sexual favor to get out of this problem. It would at least be a millionth of a second hesitation of should I know? I better not, but it's at least gonna pop in your head. But after the hole I got a peed, not so much. Yeah, do you want to rule on men after I said that?

Nope, I'm good. I'll stay in my lane.

That is your lane anyway, Michael, How about number twelve. Any perspective you'd like to share first?

Yeah, this is a There was a story about a ten year old girl who got a tattoo, and this is people commenting on it.

Write ten.

It is one of the most frustrating things about our career field.

If you see a ten year.

Old child with a professional looking tattoo and they said they got it a tattoo shop, that kind of degrades us as a whole.

I wouldn't let my daughter underage get any tattoo.

No way, No, No, that's crazy. No, I don't agree.

I think they should wait a while.

I think if you let your teenagers do what they want, it down on it quicker.

If you tell him they can't, they're gonna find a way, and they're gonna do it three times.

They're gonna do it anyway. They're gonna go get a tattoo anyway as a ten year old, So you might as well let them. Better they get it in your home than with a stranger or something.

You know, is that a collection half with what did you? Why did you play us that? Michael? So we can.

Discuss the Katie has tattoos and I was just wondering what age she got him, and it was something as a.

Teenager one of them. One of them was as a teenager.

Yes, that's why you have a Jonas brother's tattoo. You were very young.

Yeah, yep, No, it's uh my first tattoo, I am, it's it's more of a funny story now than anything.

Yes, I know in high school.

Most people I know, even the tattooed, have at least one that they wish they hadn't gotten.

Yeah, his honor, Your dad was okay with this?

Did he know about it? Or yeah?

I guess I can't get him in trouble now, right because he's retired.

Yeah, so so, uh yeah, we were in Hawaii and my mom had just gotten tattooed. This is the dolphin jumping over the shamrock, which she then said, in fifty years was going to look like a whale stuck.

On a pine tree. I think. But I wanted a tattoo, and so my dad went.

And I apparently I just wouldn't shut up shocking, and he was like, fine, you want one, let's do it.

So I was sixteen.

And I laid down on the tattoo on the table, and the second that needle touched me, I went up about six inches and you went nop. Now you got to finish.

So I have a tattoo and it hurt like crazy.

But tattoos are like everything else. They look really good on some people and on other people they don't. So I don't know, it's like a fashion thing.

The funny thing about mine is there it's two hearts next to each other. One is the Irish flag and the other was supposed to be the American flag, but the guy did it at a downward angle, so it looks like the Puerto Rican flag.

Oh no, well, I mean the Irish and the people of Puerto Ricans have long enjoyed friendly and mutually helpful relations.

Totally.

It's just a little odd. It's a bit of a niche thing there. Ah.

Now my niece has showing me her new incover Christmas, and let's good on her, but you know, wouldn't on me. Did you did you see this stuff about Pete Hegseeth, The perhaps Secretary of Defense and how Elizabeth Warren's worried about his tattoos.

I've seen a hint of that last year.

You got a couple of Christian crosses that she claims are white supremacist Christian nationalists something or other.

Okay, she claims she was Native American, so good point.

Yeah, that's a good rite.

Right. She's tattooed with the needle of deceit or something.

I don't know.

Did you get me a beer?

I'm gonna have me a beer.

A beer.

Well, I guess that's it.

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