She taught me a whole lot about grace. For our latest “Shop Talk”, Coach Bill pays tribute to his Gram.
Everybody. It's Bill Courtney with an army and normal folks, and this is Shop Talk number twelve. Today we're going to talk about a very simple five letter word. It's called grace. And it's because I think we could all certainly use more of it, but maybe even more importantly, we all give more of it. Shop Talk number twelve, it's on grace. Right after these brief messages from our gender sponsors. Okay, everybody, Shop Talk number twelve. We're talking grace. Interesting word, grace. It's odd that when I think of the word grace and then more contemporary terms, I think about my grain mother, Janas Schubert Graham was beautiful. She grew up and the Great Depression. Married my grandfather during World War Two when he was a pilot, and after the war ended, they moved to Memphis. My grandmother went about raising a family, well, my grandfather went about working. Graham was actually a model. Goldsmiths was the Mid South's premiere retail store for clothes and furniture and things like that, later bought by Macy's currently is still a Macy's a Memphis. But she actually modeled clothing for Goldsmiths. She was just beautiful. And she had a lot of grace with the way she carried herself. Additionally, she was graceful in the way she interacted with people. She was always so welcoming, and even when tough times hit, she never pouted. She didn't whine. She just handled tough things with dignity and her head up. And I you know, a lot of her in her generation. I think, who grew up in the Great Depression and then went through World War Two. I just wonder if maybe they grew to appreciate good times better than some of us because of the way they came up. But nonetheless, she's so graceful in the way she handled difficult times. The last six days of her life, I sat at the kitchen table with her. I went to visit her after work every day, and I sat at the kitchen table with her, and gosh, we shared so many stories, and I was just trying to soak up all the old family stories because our matriarch was leaving us and she had lung cancer, never smoked, but was dying of cancer. And I'll never forget how she handled death was such grace, And then she passed gracefully. Graham was a special woman. Taught me a lot, was always there for me, regardless of what I was going through, And I was just so proud to be her grandson because of the grace that she handled herself with. But maybe the most important thing about grace is what she once said to me before she passed, and it was when we were talking about my father, and I was still at that time struggling with why my father left when I was four and really had nothing to do with me or anything wanted to do with me, And how you know that affected not only me as a father, It affected father's day, It affected all kinds of things. It was a piece of trauma that as a young man I really had had a hard time reconciling. But as she was dying, this is my maternal grandmother, not my father's mother. My maternal grandmother, who also dealt with a lot of what my father leaving her daughter and her daughter's son me. She dealt with a lot of the fallout from that too in her own life and on her deathbed, not her deathbed, that's being too dramatic. During that last week we visited, one of the conversations we had was that she wanted to know I'd forgiven my father, which was just weird, but she did. And I told her I didn't I really didn't know how, but that I was trying. And she looked at me with this stern, grandmother but loving look and said, what do you mean you don't know how? Of course you do, And she said don't you say your prayers at night? And I said, yes, ma'am, I say my prayers at night. And she said, don't you ask God to forgive you for your transgressions? And I said, yes, ma'am, of course, of course I do. In fact, the truth is, I don't even know how. I I don't even know how it'd face each morning if I had not laid off at the feet of my redeemer the things that I'd done the previous day that I was so wrong about. So yeah, yeah, Graham, I asked for forgiveness, and I do say my prayers. And she says, well, then, how do you not understand how to forgive your father? And I paused and she said, Billy, which I was always billy to. Graham said, Billy, what kind of hypocrite are you? If you expect and accept forgiveness and grace from the Creator and ruler of our universe and then aren't in turn willing to offer it and granted to another failed human being. Graham was graceful and the way she carried herself. Graham was graceful in the way she handled tough times, and dignified and graceful even in death. But the most important thing about Graham was her understanding of grace and what she taught her grandson even as a grown man, and even as she was passing from this world. What kind of hypocrite would I be if I expect and accept forgiveness for the things I do wrong, but them am not in turn willing to grant that same grace and forgiveness to people who've wronged me. What a phenomenal question, What a phenomenal awaking of grace. So I'm going to ask you today and shop talk who's wrong to you? Have you forgiven them? When you do wrong? When you do something you wish you hadn't and you say I'm sorry. Isn't the power of another person's forgiveness of you freeing and uplifting and so meaningful? And when you have the power to forgive somebody and give them that that same that same level of love and acceptance. Isn't it paramount on us that when we need and want forgiveness in our own lives to also granted to people who've wronged us. Is there somebody out there that's wrong to you that you hadn't gotten over with yet? Have you thought about your position in that particular relationship and really the requirement that you have to give grace in order to accept it. The last thing I learned about grace from Graham really after she died, was how important it is for the forgiver. And I would even argue that grace may be more important for the forgiver than the forgiven, because see, when you don't forgive somebody and you don't offer grace, that means you harbor ill will. That means you lock up inside of you anger and frustration and hurt that really eats at you from the inside. But once you offer forgiveness and you demonstrate grace, all of that stuff inside of you it's allowed to dissipate and go away. And when it goes away, you, just like the person you have forgiven, are in fact redeemed. So I also learned from my very graceful grandmother that grace is a two way street. It works just as importantly for forgiver as it does the forgiven. So as you go about your week, and you go about your weekend, and you go about your lives, I hope you'll think about being graceful dignified in the way you carry yourself, graceful, dignified, and the way you handle your troubles and the things that face you, just like my grandmother, just like Graham. But I hope most importantly you'll be graceful in the way you handle your own transgressions and those who have transgressed against you. Don't harbor ill will, don't harbor all that anger and frustration in you. It just eats you up from the inside. And understand that grace has a place in both the forgiver and the forgiven's life. And wherever you are in that spectrum, use grace and have a fuller life. That's Shop Talk number twelve. I'm Bill Courtney. I'll see you next week.