When Your Brother Is Your Enemy

Published Nov 22, 2024, 6:00 AM

On this episode of Shop Talk, Coach Bill responds to an Army member's question about how to heal and hopefully reconcile with his brother. 

Everybody. Shop Talk number twenty eight. It's Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks, and I don't have a bell because recording these two shop talks back to back. Whatever, Now we just went behind the curtain again. Yeah, I guess we did. But the point is, will you please ring the bell? We can just leave it here. It could just stay will Okay, Shop Talk number twenty eight, it will be the last one without a bell, even when a guest sends us a bell. I feel so bad. Okay, Shop Talk number twenty eight. It's actually one that's really near and dear to my heart. And because of the content, I'm not going to say the name of the listener the sentence to us, but before we go to the title, I'm going to read it so during the commercial break you can think about it. Hey, Bill, I just listened to another great shop talk which made me think of another possible shop talk idea that I wanted to see into you. The question is why are we so quick to write people off and out of our lives. I've been going through this unwelcome ordeal for the last few years with my brother because I guess we see each other as enemies. I would like to say I'm fine with it personally, but I know it's devastating to my mom. But man, my pride gets in the way of reaching out and trying for a possible reconciliation. I know my situation isn't rare and heard of in our seemingly divided country and world. But maybe you can shed a light on a possible healing process or journey that many of us could find helpful for ourselves as or as mediators for others. God bless you and your families, signed the listener. So that's terrible that social and oftentimes political and media driven near to break up families and brothers and friendships talked about a lot on shop Talk, but specifically, our listener here says, maybe you can shed a light on a possible healing process or journey that many of us can find helpful for ourselves or as mediators for others. And I'm going to humbly make a suggestion on this stop talk so shot Talk number twenty nine, how to Heal. Right after these brief messages from our general sponsors, all right, everybody, welcome back to shop Talking number twenty nine, Bill Courtney, How to Heal so In this particular episode, you heard the letter, and it's about a brother who's uh, who's got unreconciled differences with his brother and it hurts him, but he knows it's devastating for his mom, and he admits readily that his ego is standing in the way. I just want to say this. Every night when I go to bed, I do pray, and I pray for forgiveness of my sins. And the reason is I'm failed. I'm a sinner. I do things every day that I look back on and I wish I hadn't done. I say things or act in a way that I would like to think I wouldn't, but I do, and I think things that I shouldn't, And and really it's because that's how we humans are. We are failed. We have issues, and we act out on those issues. And a lot of it sometimes has to do with our own insecurities, or even our ego, or our overinflated view of ourselves, or our underflated view of others who don't necessarily act like us, think like us, or any of those things. And so how do I become redeemed from that? And personally it's for me, I pray, and I pray to who I think is the creator of the universe. And what happens in my faith is that you get to a place once you feel like you have a good enough relationship with your creator that when you ask for forgiveness, you ask for redemption so that you can kind of wash away the ugliness of what you created in your own life, so that you can wake up refreshed and anew the following day. You begin to expect that forgiveness. You know it's a promise, so you take it. But here's the thing. If, as a faithful person, I hold grudges against another person, what kind of hypocrite would I be to hold a grudge when I expect and accept forgiveness for what I've done wrong from who I think is the creator and the ruler of the universe, and then turn around and don't give that same redemption, grace and forgiveness to another failed human being. What kind of hypocrite am I? What? What forgiveness do I deserve? What redemption do I deserve? If I'm going to take that but be unwilling to offer it. So it is with this sense of redemption and grace that I accept expect and am so eternally grateful for that. I have an expectation, I think, to then offer to someone else who has the same demons and issues going on in their lives that I do. So when I read from my mystery writer here that I would like to say that I'm fine with this rift with my brother personally, but I know it's devastating to my mom. But man, my pride gets in the way of reaching out for a possible reconciliation. I know my situation isn't rare unheard of than our seemingly divided country world, but maybe you can shed a light on a possible healing process or journey that many of us could find helpful for our lives or as mediators for others. I just say this, if you've ever been forgiven in your life by a friend, by a family member, or by your God, and you've accepted that redemption, that grace, that forgiveness, and you've allowed yourself to take the yoke of that misery off your own shoulders and walk a little lighter and feel a little better because of the forgiveness that was given to you, what kind of buttthead must you be not to reach out and offer it to another. You can't do that. Don't be a hypocrite. You have to give what you receive. I mean, we're always talking about an army of normal folks, and every one of our guests will tell you they get fifty times more out of the work they put into their communities for themselves. They get fifty times more out of it than what they put into it, you know, kind of similarly or paralleli. I think forgiveness is more important for the forgiver than the forgiven, because you you get rid of all of that anxiety, You get rid of all that anger once you forgive somebody who's wronged you. So what's the what's the healing process? What's the journey? Pick up the phone, call your brother, ask forgiveness for whatever you've done wrong, Give grace and redemption and for goodness sakes, when you're riffed with another person, hurts somebody else who's not even involved in the rift, like your mother, who raised you, who gave you birth, who gave you life, who gave you everything she possibly give you, who now mourns because her two brothers can't get along. Is that even close to right? Yeah? Your ego is in the way of your own happiness, your egoes in the way of your brother's happiness, but your hegoes in the way your mom's happiness and probably other people's happiness around you. Find grace, find redemption, find forgiveness, and offer it up to another failed human being who deserves it just as much as you do. I think, I think as we think about the on a larger scale, our country and the divisions that have happened because of our politics and our media that I talk about often to think that that we can't even offer somebody else enough grace to hear their hear their side of the story, to hear their perspective. And we're so caught up in our own selfish sel interest and egos that we're unwilling to redeem one another by simply saying I'm sorry, by simply reaching out, listen to another person's perspective, by considering that they have pain just like we have pain, and offering grace and forgiveness just like my Lord does for me every single night, so I can face the day fresh. Let's not be hypocritical, folks. If we want grace and we want to be forgiven, we've got to offer grace and have a forgiving heart, and in doing so we can repair lots of things that are painful and fix a lot of what's broken. So that is shop Talk number twenty nine, and mister listener, I hope you'll hear this and pick up the phone and call your brother and then call your mom and tell you love her. Thanks for joining us. If anybody has any ideas for chop Talk again, email them as you've just heard. If I think I have something to offer, we will respond. Thanks for our to our producer, Iron Light Labs. I'm Bill Courtney. We'll see you next week.

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Our country’s problems will never be solved by a bunch of fancy people in nice suits talking big wor 
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