Amy and T.J. have a lively conversation what women wish men knew about women, T.J. gets tricked into going to a rom-com, Amy gets a vampire facial, and WTF is happening in NYC with celebrities being punched in the face?
Hey there. In this episode, Robot and I work our butts off to throw a party that we then weren't allowed to attend. Also, acclaimed actors are being punched in the face on the streets of New York. Also, Rhodes is now recruiting vampires for her beauty regimen. I was tricked into going to the theater to the aram com and we have got our hands on the list of things women want men to understand about them. That's all in this episode of Amy and TJ robes here next to me. We're gonna end with the list, but I'll start. What would be the one thing you would say you want women? Do you think women want men to know and understand about them? You can make it personally if you want.
Yeah, Well, I mean I think what I think it's so much easier. Men think we're so complex, But actually we just want to feel safe and we want to feel love like we want to be shown love. We want to know that we're safe and that I think those go together. But it's really as simple as that. If you if those two things are there, everything else is easy, everything else is great.
All are not complex.
I don't think we are. Hmm.
I didn't think you would say that you are very You all are simple creatures that we have. We are too stupid even to understand the simplest of things.
I was that what you're saying to insult men with that.
I think we felt it still. I think subtle as it was.
I think men overthink things sometimes, kind of like no, which is what I'm doing right now. Uh no, But it wasn't meant.
No, No. It's a fun list that Andy Andy, our producer, found the sentence that we're going to get into that here in just a few minutes. But I said this on the train and I'm meant and I'll say it here. You have been in You are your best self today. You are as delightful and upbeat and positive and pleasant and cute and bouncy and your style everything today you you just you got up in a really good way and you are just wonderful today.
Thank you. I appreciate that. I will say that we have had a wonderful last few weeks, like just you know, when you are in a relationship and it's just great, like you haven't had any bump. I don't. I'm going to jinx us right now. Damn it. But we have just had a really good stretch of just loveliness. Like it's just been it's just been fun, it's been sweet, it's been supportive. Uh, it's just been really good. So I think that has created or attributed to my move.
I wanted you to finish that statement. You said, you know you like talking to the listener. You know, when you're in a relationship and everything's going just great. Really, you probably lost a lot.
Of well no, but no, no matter where you are, you remember a time when it was like, it doesn't last. We all know it. It comes and goes, It comes and goes.
What does that mean?
It's like you have everyone has moments where it's oh yeah, but you can reflect back. I think anyone who's been in a relationship knows when you're in that little stretch and you have there multiple stretches and they can last for a long time, but you're just it creates this unbridled joy in you.
Well you were and you were in you were on stride then, because you I'm serious, you were just I said it to you on the traund I mean it, you were just just this wonderful little ball of joy right now, Like even normally make on our commute here you would. I don't know. Maybe you do a little trash talking and making fun of something you see, A say a little something like I am my way, not being nasty, but just being a New Yorker. Like nothing can phrase you right now, you have just been great.
I feel very joyful.
You were so joyful. I'm not even doing what I normally do. Because you and I are friends. We still rip each other, give each other a hard times. She isn't too much of a good mood. I'm not even gonna I'm not gonna mess with this.
I'm not even gonna poke her a little a little, but it's great.
It was fun to see and we got a full day plan so looking forward to that. But we did to your point that one of the big events we've been working off for weeks really is an eighteen year old's birthday party that finally went off without a hitch. I think we could say on Friday.
Yes, Annaly's turned eighteen, and we were talking about this in the last podcast. I'm at a point now where no big birthday bashes are being created in the sense where I'm not spending tons of money, I'm not going and renting up venues and doing all the stuff. It's like, keep it at home, nice and simple, but then that doesn't create a lot of work. So she had some of her favorite people over and we were allowed to attend until we were told to please leave at ten PM. I think she was like, Mom, you said you were going to leave earlier. You know, she just was really waiting for us to go.
Okay, given the position I have, I didn't feel it was appropriate to say, at least I pay for this party. I didn't think that. I didn't think that was right. But we did have a I mean, certainly. Third of party was Friday with Thursday. We were bouncing all around a rainy, cold New York dragon gifts and balloons. We were those idiots.
Yes, you had so many balloons and it was raining and it was it was just think of all the days it was raining and cold, and yes we had balloons and cakes, a big cake, We had gifts, we had party favors, all the things we were just talking about. Actually, hilariously, in the last episode, you know what.
In Fildal, maybe this is new to me, Maybe everybody else understands. Party City is like TJ mex like, you can't go in there for one thing and just walk out with that one thing. Party City is I didn't know we went in there for one thing. I thought I was gonna be able to put that thing in my purse. Yes, we walked out with three huge, heavy bags and we were like, how did this happen?
But all of a sudden, I needed everything in the store to make the party better.
Sabine got stuff. Is not even her birthday.
You were like, I gotta get this for zev. It really was like targets, the same way you go in for dish shop and you come back with seven bags filled with five hundred dollars with the things that you didn't actually need. So that happened at party City for us on that was Friday, right, it was Thursday.
Oh yeah, Friday was the party. Yes, I got the days mixed up, Yes, Friday.
Because we were working Thursday and Friday on the party. But it went off without a hitch, and we actually we were watching the next game in the adjacent room. I mean it's all kind of one big room, and then at one point we had half the party over with us watching the game, and I think that's when Annaly's was like, Mom, can you please go? Like we had stolen half her party to watch the game. Some of the guys started coming over, and then the girls came over, and it was it was funny and okay, I.
Didn't think about it that way, but we did. We weren't trying to and we weren't engaging. We just had something else going on, and we were cool enough that they didn't mind hanging out with it so.
Exactly, and that's when analy decided that was not cool at all, and she wanted us.
To leave, but it was. It was fun and we had our guests on last week Rachel Gibbs. I think it's a name who did the fiver birthday party got so much attention, but in that theme, in that vein of birthday parties, it was on our mind. But this is this is cool to see if she's an adult now legally officially, and just kind of cool to be there to see her. I know most of her friends and at least know the names, and to see it all come together and her have a good time and to play a role in it was fun.
And I thanked you, but I'll thank you again here profusely that you were so sweet and so supportive, and I'm one of my favorite parts of that day was in the hours leading up to the party. It was also her last day of school, so it was a very emotional day all around. She turned eighteen on the day her high school, you know, her entire actual you know, school career was over, and so we had there was some reminiscing, and she sat on the couch with us and we were looking at videos of her as a baby and just and it was so sweet. You were there with us looking at the videos and it was just it was a really sweet woman. I really appreciate it.
Well, but thank you all. That was fun. This turned into now, of course, a lot of people Mother's Day that they're just getting past. And I don't know how you feel about it. Sometimes it feels you Shaana, your mother three hundred sixty five days. Ye right, but this is a special day for moms. And when we got up that morning, you almost snapped at me when I said, hey, babe, what do you want to do? This is your day? You're like, I don't want that pressure. I don't want to do anything.
Okay.
I actually probably seven times you did.
That's probably when I snapped because like the first six times, I was like, I don't know, I don't know what I want to do. And then I was like, I don't know, I don't want the pressure, I don't know what I want to.
Do, and then this is what she does, y'all. She turned that around and used it against me later because Annalise and Robes wanted to go see a movie and they wanted me to go along for this for this movie, and I didn't necessarily want to see it. I'm like, hey, you and analyse, Yeah, I have a girl's day mom daughter. Do you think it's all good? And plus I don't really want to see the movie? Would you tell me?
I said, well, I thought you said this was my day and I want you to be there. This isn't boyfriend day, this isn't daughter day. This is my day, and I want you there. And so, you kid, you.
Flipped really fast. But the movie was is Fall Guy, Ryan Gosling, Emily Blunt wonderful? Both of these I love both of them, and I have a very special place in my heart for Emily Blunt, so to see them on screen is one thing. But after a little while I started recognizing some things about the movie.
Yes, so I sold it to you as and I truly did believe it was kind of an action comedy, right, And all of a sudden, certain formulas started appearing and evolving, and you turned to me and this was my favorite part of the whole movie. And you looked at me and you said, is this a rom com And I whispered it to Emily's and we both just started laughing, and I was like, I actually think it is. Whoops, sorry, did you do it? I didn't know it was a rom cop. I mean, I knew there might have been some romance between Emily Hunt and Ryan Gosling, and there were some funny moments, and there was some action, Like it wasn't just your stereotypical This wasn't nodding hill, was.
That what are we doing?
This wasn't love actually, I mean there was some stuff in there for guys. Wouldn't you say? Well?
It is? I end up looking up afterwards and they describe it as an action adventure romantic comedy. They do, so there are just a few action sequences, but this is absolutely a romantic comedy start to finish. This is all about two people overcoming whatever to try to be together in the end. They yes, it was the exact formula. There were some lines at the end. I actually got up and went to the restroom.
In the lad like the climax of this movie, because you knew how it was gonna Let me guess when I come back, they're gonna be together. That's true. I would just argue that this is a blended genre.
Yes, that's no question about it, no question about it.
But you were a good sport. But it was funny because you just it was like it all dawned on you in one moment and you just look at that.
I've been set up.
Oh my god, have you brought me to a rompop? And that was your mother's say gift to me, So thank you.
You are welcome, my dear lady. The other thing we mentioned that it sounded crazy that why would vampires have anything to do with your beauty regiment? I am, I am. I'm a little confused, but I do have a better understanding now. But you went recently and somebody, some people will know exactly what it is when you say it. I didn't, So what's it?
Colloquially it's called a vampire facial and They've actually been in the news recently because apparently there was a place out west that was using needles, like wasn't doing what they were supposed to be doing, and several people contracted HIV. So this all happened actually in the middle of between when I made the appointment and when I actually then went to the appointment. But I knew I was going to a reputable place and I wasn't worried about it.
And we should say that this is a main extreme type of procedure. I said, whole procedure. Whatever it is that just happened to be a a bad It had nothing to do with actual the Actually there's no harm necessarily in their saying in what this is is just to how someone decided to do it and they weren't sanitary.
Correct. Anything you do invasive lee is absolutely going to have to be held to the highest standard of hygiene because otherwise, yes, you could be introducing whatever into your body or into your blood stream. But this is a thing where you actually take out they actually take blood from you and then they put it in the spinner and they spin your platelets platelets, I guess, And it's supposed to like rejuvenate and repairs plasma. I'm so frazzled right now, p RP. But I don't know what the one's plasma, one's platelets. I don't know.
But that's why they call it the vampire face.
Yes, because they're actually reinjecting your your blood where they like, just as if you went to go get blood work done at the doctor.
One vile.
So it wasn't bad, but yeah, I didn't. I know, I've done it before. It was just suggested to me and just to rejuvenate, okay, so.
How they spin the blood around and immediately start the procedure.
Okay, lately late lit rich plasma, that's what they put back into your face. But it was funny because we had a meeting later that afternoon. This was late last week, and I asked the anesthetician. I said, you know, I'm gonna be a little swollen. She's like, yeah, but just for a couple of hours, you'll be fine by four a couple of hours, it was like three hours she said. Three days later, I'm finally not swollen. There was a where we're like, do you should we go out anywhere in the city this weekend?
I'm thinking no, let's go late it.
Really it wasn't that bad, okay, I'll like you say.
I was a big spoon for those three days. There was no face to face cut.
Maybe let's keep the lights down.
Have we talked about the other one where you came out looking like a car accident. Yes, that was that was rough.
I think a lot of women, uh, who are of my age, And I will say I started getting botox when I was thirty two, so I always kind of looked at this as just as minimal in minimally invasive procedures that I could do. And they're annoying and you have to do them a lot, but I just I just want to do small little things that helped me age a little less harshly, that's all. I don't want to change how I look, and I don't. And to each his own, but it's for me. It's just it's a lot of maintenance. So you've seen me, yes, okay, make several appointments.
What's the one?
The fracking fraxeling is what we do to the earth. Yes, not to my face.
But when you hear about what you do to your face, fracksl is that's the one where a couple of days, you're like, peel. That one's rough. Yeah, that one's rough.
That's something you need a week off of work from. Yes, you actually do correctly.
And you only have to do that one how often?
Well I've only done that twice in my life.
But they say you're supposed to do it like, I don't.
Know, once every couple of years. What you do in between is called clear and brilliant. And it's kind of like baby fraxle. And so that's a little like you look a little rough and you still peel, but it's not crazy.
Give me the therma flaw.
There's thermage. That's super painful.
That was close.
Yeah, thermage. What did you call it?
Nothing, that's what I.
Said, thermige fraxel. Now there's vampire. When you were messed up, that was when they well I forgot what that was called. That was when I it was all about stimulating collagen. It was with some sort of acid. Yeah, and it I bruised a lot.
Yeah, apparently that procedures. Just you go in and the the doctor punches you in the face repeatedly.
That is what it looks like.
Man.
That was that was a week long.
That was bad and to your point you're laughing because you say, to me, how do you look at any different? But that's the way I want it to be. I don't want to look different. I just want to have these little small things that just incrementally help you age a little bit more gracefully. I don't want to change anything. So I actually feel like because you are scratching your head like I just really don't even see what looks different. That's to me, that's a good thing. That's a win.
Okay. I'm not expecting you to be completely altered, like the unrecognizable.
No no, but sometimes some of these procedures you're trying to look different. I'm different. I'm just trying to help my skin look as best as it can.
You look.
Yeah, in between the swelling and thanks for being a good sport about it, I have to be don't really have a choice. I actually just want to say, you're welcome.
Did I stay at my place? More? Big spot. The other thing this is you and I we were drifting. I say that like everybody knows where that is. But we were sitting at the a restaurant we love that's along our running path, and we're saying you having a good time, great day and we look up and there's a plane flying with a banner behind it. Yeah. Now I don't know exactly what it says. I can't remember exactly, but this is pretty close.
It said something like, if you indict, we will unite, Maga maga. And it was just flying around the city ominously on a very beautiful day.
Actually, and you say that the right way, ominously, and some people take offense to that. Was that ominous? It seemed that it felt like some kind of a warning. Yes, if it was a I can't remember the language, but the languages are such in there that we were.
Like, whoa, if you do this, we will this will happen. And I don't know what that means, but it felt it felt a little ominous, that's all. It just and to have the plane buzzing and just circling and circling.
I don't know.
There was something about it that just felt. And we know here in the city, you know, with and we're not going to get into the politics of any of this, but Trump is on trial here down close to where we live, downtown New York City, and you know, it's just the energy, the tension, the traffic, everything and there's just protests throughout the city obviously for what's happening in the Middle East as well, so in the city, it's just it's felt, it's felt different, it's felt darker. It's felt I don't want to say threatening, but like like there's the water's boiling, and you just you worry about what is going to happen, if not this summer, with the outcome of the trial, or even with the election that's looming this fall. Everything has felt a little bit ominous. I don't know if other New Yorkers have felt the same way, but it has felt.
Like that that is, and it feels that way because there are the other part of it. There's so many police vehicles, there's sirens constantly because they're moving trump around town essentially, and we plan to ride up today. We're going to hop on the motor so i can take a ride up to the studio. We started looking around at traffic and they don't announce some of the closures. They just close them when they want to on some of the streets because they have to maneuver him around. And as just with that, with the protests on campus, their protests on the streets, it's just something. Maybe it's just New York and I don't know, maybe it feels heavier for some reason now and this is New York and maybe it's always like this. But the other thing that got us thinking about this was Steve Bushimi, the acclaimed actor from Boardwalk Empire. You know him well, you probably love his work. He is unreal. But why is he walking around Kip's Bay in New York last week? Somebody just punches him in the face. Yeah, just punches them randomly, broad daylight in the face.
And he needed medical attention. It wasn't just a little slap. He had a bloody eye, and I mean it was it was real. It was very scary.
So in recent months we've had a series and it's been women almost exclusively. I believe these random attacks in New York and somebody just runs up to somebody, a woman, oftentimes broad daylight in the face, and some arrests have been made, but it's just it's another one of those things to where you're walking around the city, sometimes already with your head on a swivel, and then this is all happening. It just feels now the season you're trying now because the sun's coming out and we're about to New York is just wonderful. Then spring comes and then there's some kind of weird Paul over the city.
Yeah, and we were we were just in Soho with Sabine. And a few days later, in again a beautiful seventy five degree sunny day in New York City, a young man, a sixteen year old is shot in the head right outside of school and we were just there and uh yeah, and at least my daughter. It was all the talk obviously among the high schoolers because it was right near one of her friend's schools. And it's just, yeah, it just it feels like there's been a confluence of events that are I don't know, just giving us some pause and just you know, just another reminder to just be aware and just to be again we've said this a lot, but just to be kind and but also just to have each other's backs.
And it is helping to get the Like I said, any degree sunny day in New York, it's just it changes everything, changes moods, and so New York has made it through everything pretty much. Whatever happens this time around New York will make it.
We had, you know, we had to explain our matching outfits. Though. To em and Andy, when we came to the studio, we were all biked up. We had our we had our leather jackets on and our writing moods. And they're like, wow, you guys look like like we walked off the set of Greece or something. We were like, actually, there's a reason. And we were totally going to ride up on the motorcycle and uh thought otherwise with the traffic, better shave pop because I need amazed there it is.
It doesn't take much.
He'll tell me about it.
Just give her a little, Just give her a little. We have our hands on the list. We didn't get our hands on it, but our wonderful producer Andy has his hands on it. But and you said it came from I think it was Reddit. But tell me the name of the list again. So the name of the.
List is these are the things that women want men to know about them.
Okay, that we haven't gone through the list. But we love when he does this with us because we learned. We end up learning something about ourselves, learning something about our relationship. I think a lot of the folks might too. But you always curious to know what other people think so things that women wish we knew about them. What was the one you gave me at the tip You told me you wish Oh you think were You're not as complex as we think you are. We make it.
Yes, I wish you knew this. I mean I wish men just it actually doesn't take much to make us happy. That was kind of my point.
You sure about that?
Yes?
Oh okay, hold that list for just a second. Andy. It so easy to make you all happy by just simply doing exactly what you tell us.
It's oh my gosh, yep, there you go that. Yep, if you if you listen, we'll tell you what we want and over and over again.
Oh, because we don't get it.
I don't think you want to get it. You're like, YadA YadA. Yeah, it's called selective.
Can we just be different?
Yes?
You can? Or were we just I played this clip for you before we left, he did. Sometimes it's not it's emotion. Sometimes we don't take into account. Emotions have to do in your storytelling what you think, what you want at the time, and we don't factor that in sometimes.
So it's kind of what I was saying, it's how we feel right. We're emotional, as you put it, and we are completely and so to feel loved is to feel safe and then to feel happy, like to be able to express there's just it. But it's about our feelings. Like it's less about the logistics or the logic or the you know, it's not it's not black and white. It's just it's it's the feeling.
It sounds sounds complex, doesn't it. You hear this answer?
Yeah, okay, it actually ties in really well with one of the things.
All right, you take us away on the list.
It says something that this person learned from their wife of nineteen years was to be an active listener. We guys can sum up our day in two sentences or less, give her ninety minutes.
That is so true, because I just want to tell you all the details and how I felt along the way.
Now do do you find is it the understanding that most times men don't often have the patience for it. It's not that they don't maybe love the person, the woman that they're with, it's just is that really a matter of a difference in men and women?
And well, I think you would have to tell me that because I think women when we talk. You hear me talking with my friends or my mom or my daughters, and you're like, oh yeah, yeah, you have to walk out of the room. It's just the details are just like burying you with details and feeling. So I do think, but yes, would that I would believe is probably true.
I don't you know. Active listening is a big deal. I've learned that and it helped me in it's on you know what it helps in our jobs. When you interview someone, you could miss the most important thing if you're if you're thinking about your next question instead of listening to their current answer, you're gonna make a mistake. So fella's out there, that's my recommendation, treader like she's an Interviewee, I'm kidding obviously.
Hey, I mean sometimes strategy like that is good and then you put it into practice and then all of a sudden it's not something you even have to think about.
How do we do on that? Then you and I.
You actually in a way I think listen too intently and I'm like damn, And then you can bring it back up like two weeks later, like, well you know you did say no, you listen really well? Almost too. I would argue.
So now you need me to back it off trying to thread the needle.
I told you we're very simple, very simple.
Well, let's tell us on the list.
More often than not, women like to have a little rant. They're not looking for solutions.
Yes, we don't need you to fix it necessarily unless we ask you to.
Let's see fast too, and when you ask you, damn sure better get it fixed and fixed fast. Now that I do get. But it's so hard for us to program, to reprogram ourselves out of that because we are solutions or yet here's the problem, here's a solution, let's fix it. And so yeah, that is you have to train ourselves. Okay, wait, you got a problem with who we work?
All right?
What we're gonna do? All right? Just just call a set an email. You can't handle it tomorrow, that's us. You all just need to hear us. No, you don't understand. She was wearing the same color I was wearing on the day. She knows I wear that collar like we don't.
Sometimes we just want you to say, yeah, that must have been hard, okay, and that's it.
I have learned that with you because you will talk talk talk talk, talk talk, talk talk talk, and I will listen. I don't necessarily have anything to contribute, but you want to know that I was listening. Yes I do. So I have gone got some go tos because I have. I told you.
I was like, sometimes when you don't respond to what I just told you, it hurts my feelings.
So then now you you do what hmm or I see.
Exactly.
Ah.
So it doesn't necessarily make me feel better, but that does make me laugh, and then I'm fine.
But here's the thing. I do it on everything now, y'all. She could just say, man, it is hot out here. I feel it too.
I just doesn't matter because I would say like, oh my god, you know, look at that building right there. It looks so cool, and you just wouldn't respond. I was like, can you say something so now, youth.
Wow, indeed, indeed, I love indeed, indeeds ago, indeed or absolutely, And then I know that I'm talking too much.
Maybe we failed on that one. What else you get?
And another one that women want men to know is that we are beyond annoyed when men yell at traffic or go on and on yelling at the television during sports. The only person who can hear you yelling is us and we hate it. Keep that to a minimum, and then if you must continue your pointless rant in your head.
So I have to give TJ complete props on this. You do not do it, and it is remarkable, and I have noted it and noticed it and been kind of like, I'm amazed by it. You might be one of the only men I have ever met who does not do any of those things. You do not. You do not lose your cool, You do not rant at I'm the one who will yell at traffic. I know and I need and I need to do better at that.
What was the last part of that. Did it say no one can hear you? What was that you said?
It says, keep it to a minimum, and then if you must continue your rant in your head.
Okay, I wrote that to you.
Yes, I would agree. That would apply more to me than to you. I agree with you.
The traffic, I get hot, it's rough.
I know I need to do better. That's funny.
That was me, not you, but the TV. It's how much This is how you know you've been yelling at the TV too much? When you just all of a sudden look up and go, oh, because I have paused the show because I can't hear a damn thing on it, because you've been talking the whole time.
It's not necessarily a rant. I'm just like, I'm announcing all the things I'm observing while I'm watching, and then.
You will pause it, like, but you're ranting about he doesn't even like him. He was he was just over there with the blonde two days ago. Now he's all up in. I'm like, what happened? Okay, Yes, that's you. That's right. Thing, that is true? Okay, wow we are We are not doing so good on this lib.
The next one is women are all different people, So if you note something about one woman, do not automatically assume that to be true for all women.
Maybe all women aren't emotional TJ.
Yeah, she's out there somewhere. I'm trying. Do you know women in your life that you would say don't carry their emotions or not emotion lets everybody's emotions, but wouldn't fit into whatever category. Sometimes women are put into a being emotional beings.
I'm sure they're out there, and some are more than others, obviously, but I think most of us. I'm going to speak for the tribe here. I think most of us are lead a lot of our thoughts and our decisions through and because of emotions. For sure, I actually think I'm a fairly logical person, but yes, I have emotion clouding that all the time. But but I think most of us are like that. You can't generalize everyone, but I don't. I don't feel like you are somebody who generalizes people.
I mean people is the way to put it. I don't think you can do that with anybody. Any experience you've had with this person, you can't assume that just because they are whatever, a certain race, a certain gender, that they are going to be like some Yeah that's a and.
I think you're pretty good at that.
You're pretty good that. What's the danger zone? All right?
This next one is women prefer to be called beautiful over hot. Calling us beautiful is elegant rather than calling us hot or sexy.
I think it depends on who's saying it.
And I was about to say it depends on where it's being said.
Yes, all true.
We need to break this one down with it. Nobody wants to if it's someone you know, right in relationship with you, I called you, call you beautiful. You look great, that's gorgeous. But every once in a while, you put on a certain dress, certain heels, and you're feeling a certain way, and I think it. No, I'm not going to speak for you, but in that situation, it seems like a saying sexy or hot wouldn't be Unwell.
Yes, I agree, and coming from you one hundred percent. Now, if you only said that, that would feel weird, But you don't. I mean, I think women no one wants to be over sexualized. But yeah, to have your boyfriend or your husband or the guy who you're into say that an outfit makes you look hot or sexy, I have a zero problem with that. Now, do I want a guy on the street saying that to me?
No, okay, But the guy on the street saying you look beautiful? Is it's still a compliment about your physical appearance. But are you taking one better than the other?
Yeah? Yes, well I do think so. I've talked about this, and I've talked to my daughters about this. I know it's a huge problem, especially here in this city, with cat calling and you know, unwanted attention from men whistling or saying derogatory things and even if they're saying, hey, baby, you look great. You know I I don't like that, but I've joked with them and I was like, just wait till you turn forty, and then if someone says you look beautiful, you're like thank you. Like it's a very different experience. And I'm not encouraging cat calling. And I know that it's derogatory and I get it. My my daughters both have complained about it, and understandably so, but I've just teased them.
I was like, I hear you, but just just wait, are you telling me that? Then I hear that, right, that cat calling at some point can feel good at a certain age if you're not getting those compliments that often.
I mean, cause it's to me, it's silly, Like I get it. I'm like, I I yes, I am saying that to an extent. I mean, it depends on what they said. But if someone wants to say, wow, you're gorgeous, I'm I'm all about saying thank you and continuing to walk. But some people, some women find that offensive, and that's I get that. It depends on what the motive is. And you can tell from the guy if he's just being a jerk and you know, but it's genuinely say like, well, just to pay you a compliment. I have no problem with that, But if they're saying it to I don't know, make you feel like like you're a sexualized being for no reason other than you're just trying to go to work, that's not okay.
How many is cat calling in New York?
Oh yeah, yeah, I mean Anna Alice will tell me it's one of the This is kind of crazy, but when she said it, it made sense. She said when she gets the most cat calls and gets the most upset when she's on her city bike because you're going by quickly, so they feel like they can shout things at you, and then you won't actually get mad at them or turn around because you're having to focus on biking. But she told me she gets the most like disgusting comments thrown at her when she's on a bike because they can see her and they can call it out, but it's it's not as embarrassing for them, maybe because it's not a slow walk.
What is the point just woman flying by on a powered city bike? I say powered because they go faster. Now she's flying.
You would have to ask a man. I don't know why that would be fun?
Are good? Fun good?
It makes them feel powerful. They're like objectifying you and they feel like they're in a position to judge. I don't know, but they're not going to get a date out of the issues. I cannot imagine that ever happening in any instance. But there must be some power thing that they feel when they do that.
I don't know, so I can't remember what comedian it was. It's like the stupidest thing in the world to try to yell at a moving target, like, yeah.
They're not even asking for their number, Like they're just commenting on body parts, et cetera. Like that's not okay. Yeah, yeah, they get bored, all right?
Yes, what are we up to now? How many? Yeah?
The next thing women want meant to know is how important our menstrual cycles are and how they affect us. For example, we can be very different physically and mentally during the ovulation period and in the pre menstrual period. I educated my boyfriend on it, and since then he has helped me to cope with these fluctuations.
We can skip this one.
We've only been together in my medically induced menopause. Yes, so we've never had to deal with that.
That's why I say I wasn't just trying to skip the topic. Is just stuff no interest to me currently are but.
You are going to have to be dealing with that soon as a fought with.
Sabine, Yes of course, but well we'll come up with a different lists on that day. But until then, this is not something we deal with.
What it's a mood point it is.
The next one is women don't want to be your mommy or your maid.
Oh and honestly, you're coming out of this smelling like roses, because yes, because you are. And I've told you this is one of the many things I'm super attracted to you about is that you are so clean and organized and self sufficient. You make your own like not only do you make your own food, but you make food better than I can, and for everyone. You clean up the food that you make. You are constantly folding laundry and doing laundry. You were just scrubbing a bathtub this morning, and I mean, I am so impressed laundry. I'm telling you, is it okay to call you sexy and hot? Because to me, that is a very very sexy thing. Like what a man just takes it on and doesn't expect anyone to do anything for him. And I really think that is like super sexy.
How about this? I think most guys, yes, that's a compliment to be called sexy. To be called sexy for your laundry folding ability is not It's not gonna be high up there for us robes. And that's okay. If if it's a super hot guy who's doing laundry, cool, I know she still likes my body. Yeah, But if it's still regular Joe and a woman gets asd what do you love about your regular Joe man, he really knows how to use that downy. I mean that's not gonna make him feel good.
Yeah, coming home seeing windecks in your hands and vacuum cleaner in the other way. No, No, you are really really, really good about that. It's funny when we work together and we were just friends, I saw how you kept your dressing room and I took note of it. I was like, Wow, this guy is clean and organized.
I like that. What whether you said it was clean, it was two things. It was mommy or mommy or you are.
Not like that at all? No, that mean though, like help me, like, yeah, you just want like your your your wife to help dress you or help like like I don't know, you just like a mommy, like did you make your doctor's appointment? Did you like that kind of stuff? Like ew, no, woman wants to do that?
Okay, maybe not?
Yeah, like you know, feed me, make my doctor's appointment for me, hold my clothes.
And I ask, is there some segment of the female population, and maybe even a significant segment maybe that wants appreciates to be needed in that way to take care of everything because he's not he can't dress himself. I need to do this for him.
He No, I don't think there's any Maybe there's a part of some of us who like to feel needed, but that's different than having to be someone's mom. Like I just I don't think there's anything attractive about that, and especially any woman who's actually a mom. We don't need another child like that is just annoying. I think that's I think that's a pretty general rule among women. I don't think any of us want a mommy are men?
But I do thank you for packing my lunches for me, give us your last best two or three. We don't have a.
Problem picking where we want to eat. The problem is that we want a little bit of everything.
Mmm. So sometimes I do have a problem picking where I want to eat. But you've always teased me about this. I will say this. Women might not always know what we want to eat, but we know what we don't want to eat, and so you can just start listing them. And then I'll tell you no, no, no, no no, that that is true.
Well the frustration comes, no, no, it comes. It's it's it's funny. We could joke about this, but I've conversation goes this way, sweetheart, Where would you like to eat?
Right?
Anywhere? It sounds good? You sure? Maybe you got a hungery for Are you really hungry now or you a little hungry?
Stay?
Yeah, eat a way? That's good? Get ready? All right? We sure nothing?
Yeah?
Whatever you want? All right, there's a new Mexican spot I want to Oh, I don't want that. That's what happens.
That is true. I know what I don't want. Yes, I don't always know what I want.
Yes, I've had somebody's been telling me that for years. Pastor Bernard actually here in New York, he said, I know exactly what women want and everybody's sitting up on the edge of their seats. They don't know and that was.
That was it. But they know what they don't want.
That is so so true movies. You can anything, but you will often lead with that, I don't know, just.
Pick some here's something though. That's so funny because and I don't. I think a lot of women do this and you have frustrated me. But I know what you're doing. I know why you're doing it. So any other women out there, any other woman out there, when they're going to order, I want to know what you're having, and I want to calculate that into what I'm having. So I'm like, well, if he's getting this, maybe I'll get that, or even like a shared appetizer, you will You're like, just tell me what you want, just you order it. And that drives me crazy because I want to know what you're ordering first, because I want to factor that into what I order.
Is a factor because maybe you want to know.
Because maybe we might share the appetizer, or maybe if you're going to get the salmon, or you're going to get something else that I might want, then maybe I could pick a little on your plate. And then also get what I want. We could kind of share, but then knowing what you're getting might make me get something different so that we could have a bite of each You.
Know what, I apologize we're saying at the top of this episode that I disagree with you about simplicity. You guys are so simple. Just listen to your food order. That made perfect sense you did to me, And does that.
Makes sense to you at all?
You get that?
Okay? And he will never tell me. Yeah right, he will not even tell me. He refuses to.
He says, see what you're using my dish as a reconnaissance mission for your next meal? Yeah, I'll stop. Stop, y'all need to stop.
Yes, So anyway, TJ will never tell you what he's going to order until he orders it from the waiter. And I always order first, and I think sometimes you change your order because you don't want to order the same thing I order. You get the advantage of hearing what I'm ordering first because you're being polite.
I always a woman, always orders first, right, Yes, but you know what I do it. I don't want you to have I don't want you to be influenced by me. I don't want you to give up something you might be wanting to order because you say, Okay, he's ordering that, I can just snack on that. So just get the thing you want to get, amare because she gives it.
Because I want a factor when you're ordering into what I'm ordering, what don't If I can't, I know you won't tell me.
We're going to lunch right after this, okay, and we don't work this out, so funny.
I remember first, when we first started going out to dinner together. I was like, so what are you getting? You're like, just go ahead and order what you're gonna order.
I never tell you what you've never once told me. Ever, I don't think I have no, you have not.
And you also don't like sharing. You don't like me picking off your plate, which is another isn't what you don't tell me?
Okay, So this is the I guess we're doing. Okay, if our biggest like we really got worked up about food.
Orders, that's funny, all right.
All this next one is we just want to feel pretty for our partners. If you make me feel like I'm the prettiest woman on earth in your eyes, I will do absolutely anything for you. The second we don't feel sexy for our partners. Welcome to a dead bedroom.
Oh that was a was extreme, But I mean I hear what she's saying, and that's true. Yeah, Oh my gosh, compliments will get you everywhere or anywhere. Maybe maybe we should edit.
So did I mention you look beautiful?
Compliments go a long way if they're genuine.
Yes, okay, how do you make that determination?
You can find something you like about me at any point? There might be a lot of things you don't.
Did you just tell me I can always find something I like about you.
About anyone, I can find something I like about I wasn't saying it just about me. I'm saying I was saying that as like a point of our ference. I think you can find something you like about anybody. But if you do it deliberately, manipulatively, that would be different.
Can you read that again? And absolutely so?
It was we just want to feel pretty for our partners. If you make me feel like I'm the prettiest woman on earth in your eyes, I will do absolutely anything for you. The second we don't feel sexy for our partners, Welcome to a dead.
Pat How do you make and what he said, how do you how do you make a woman feel like she's the prettiest girl in the world in your eye? How does a man go about doing that? What could possibly be done to That's why I want to hear that liney Oh, I mean, I just.
Think telling telling a woman if you've noticed like something about her, like it. It could be physical, it could be even like something I saw you did this, and that was really kind that you did that. Just a compliment, I doesn't. I mean, I know they're saying pretty and I get that too, but yeah, if you yeah, I feel like an outfit, if you like a hairstyle, if you like a lipstick color, if you like any of that like that all like we I'll admit I fall prey to that that. It feels good. And when you feel good, you feel generous.
Everybody feel loves compliments. Everybody.
Yeah, that's true.
I love those ear rings you get the dangling Yeah, those you have?
I got these from you.
The shirt's working too. I told you you had your cowgirl thing going. Yeah, those are my favorite genes you're wearing.
I actually do know that. See so when I pulled the jeans out, I'm like, I know, I know got them that's funny. Now it works. See we're simple.
That is so funny. That's a setup. You pull these out like, I can see you looking like a villain in a movie. Like you will not be able to VisiC these.
That's true.
Yeah, those are my favorites.
I wear them often.
Give me one of so you often are the prettiest girl in the room. It goes one last than ask.
Them what they like sexually before trying things. Willy nilly. Women are very different in what they like.
Oh, I just feel like that's awkward.
What it's awkward to have this conversation both on mis yes but yes.
But also I don't know how much I want to talk about sex before I have sex. We can have like a post like, we can have like a like we can talk about it afterwards, but like to talk about it beforehand, Mike, feel very unsexy to me. I don't know.
Well, this one is also kind of ties in don't get too overtly sexual too early. It puts women off.
Yeah, because then you think you only want one thing, right, I get that totally.
No, no, no, no, no, I'm just trying to understand the dilemma here. I think I'm hearing that, right, you can't. It's saying, a woman, I'll turn with you here. What that sound like? It's saying you don't want you can't just go trying all your freaky stuff out without us having a discussion about it first. Is that what you're saying the first one? That's what you're saying? Yeah, would you agree that that's what? Well?
It depends, like how freaky are we talking? Like? I don't even know?
Everybody has a difference, that's true.
I feel like if there is to be something really out there, then yeah, there would need to be a discussion ahead. But I also could just stop you, like that's no, no, no, no, no, it's not happening.
You should have followed your first instinct and said that was too awkward. It's awkward to follow that first.
But wait, would you say, I'm a it's awkward. Yeah. I'd rather deal with that in the moment and then talk about it later. I don't really want to talk about it.
Ahead of time awkward? Yeah, But I don't know.
Talking about ahead of time feels really strange to me. I mean, what are we what are the freaky things we're talking about here? I don't even know.
Go right ahead.
No, I think awkward. Yeah, we should not.
But it makes a good point. What there are people are into different things, and that's always a big moment in anybody's relationship. Once you there's the first date, there's this, you meet the parents, You have sects that these milestone that is one of them is And I know a lot of folks deal with that, but you can't. I don't know. Everybody doesn't have the same That sounds like a joke, but everybody doesn't have the same freakiness scale.
Right right.
This might be a normal weekend for you, and this might be only on birthdays for you. You know, I told you I was just say I can't. That's hilarious to the point. It makes a good point. It makes a good point.
Yes, it's I'm sure. Conversation is always good if necessary.
You want to end on that one, you want to end on something one more.
One more, I'm pretty much done with them. You let you say the best for last.
But it does ask.
Questions like men, what's something that you would want women to know about you? So teach it what you want amy to know.
Let's end on that.
I like that. On that, Yeah, I think this would be very, very This is simple. We are simple, And I say that and that you all. Often I find in some experience and maybe this has happened with you and your experience, that you hold us to your emotional standard when things happen. So why isn't he more upset? Why isn't he being like this? Why doesn't he want to talk? Why doesn't that all these things? When sometimes it's just nah, he says somethingiss off, we got a fight. I don't need to talk to you about how that makes me feel. Okay, he pissed me off, we got into it, had some words. It's over. But there's there's sometimes in the way we react and how we behave that I think sometimes is I'm trying to think of like a good example with you, but that was the first thing came to my mind.
So you so you're saying you don't actually you truly don't need to talk it out. You truly don't need to think about how you're feeling, or you just choose not to because it's better and easier.
Oh no, it's just kind of how we are. It's I don't want to say it's right or wrong, but I think it's okay, that we don't handle sometimes conflict and the way you all do right, you come home right. He was talking about it earlier with the talking right, how long ninety minutes for you to explain the story? It takes me thirty seconds? Right, that's okay. If I only tell you about my day and it took me sixty seconds, it's not because I'm holding back. That's that's all I got. This is what happened. He came in, pissed me off, a da dad, I went to lunch, came back, done up at six in the morning, got a meeting.
And we think, what's he not telling me?
That's that's it. Yeah, there might be more detailed. We just don't need this that thing. It's like you you know what I'm saying, you'll feel it. What's wrong? Baby? But what happened? Why did that make you feel? What did not?
No?
It's over, yeah, time sinner, okay, all.
Right, so we're both simple.
Then he the only other woman in the room cackle to hear you say that. So that's just lets you know how everybody feels about that. Andy. We appreciate you with the list as always, and we want to end today by giving everybody a movie recommendation we have been watching. We watched movies constantly, usually horror movies. We ended up talking to Andy about this one. I forgot but if you have not seen it yet, this is when you turned me on to you said we need to watch it, and we did, and I recommend it to everybody. Late Night with the Devil. What is that acting name? I can't remember his name, but you've seen him in plenty of stuff. But if you need a good horror flick, watch Late Night with the Devil. We'll start passing along our are our recommendations for movies because we have a lot of horror.
Yeah, that one was under the radar for us, and it was just kind of like, let's just see what this is, and it was. I just appreciated the creativity, the uniqueness of it, and then just the ending was pretty spectacular.
It was great. So we'll leave you with that note in that nugget, you got anything else for us? Andy over there making sure we're good. Nope, all right, folks, We appreciate you as always. You can find us the official instagram. All of the show is at Amy and TJ Podcast. You can find us on Instagram as well, needs to get more active. We apologize speak.
We'll try to be more social, yes, But
Until then, folks, we'll see you