Amy & T.J.You asked. Amy and T.J. answered.
As promised, nothing is off limits.
Welcome everyone.
Hi there, this is Amy and TJ here, and welcome back to the podcast. Amy and TJ, and we have some thank yous to you all. First and foremost, we are beyond grateful by the response we've gotten from you all from our first couple of episodes.
That's right, and we're excited because we got some news over the weekend. We're going to be releasing two podcasts this week and next week up until the end of the year. We'll see how it goes from there, but we're really excited about it. We told iHeart we like to work.
They believed us, No, well we have. We're two people who are used to going, going, going, and long days, lots of travels, so we're not used to something like once a week. We're like, ah, that's no problem. But we wouldn't be doing two a week now if there wasn't some interest. And we got the response and from you all, and it's been a good one and we're excited to be able to share more. So yes, for the next couple weeks, you'll get two from us. This is one of them. But this week's episodes are going to be special because they're centered on you.
That's right, So we're excited, but I'm going to continue my but I'm nervous theme. Hopefully I can get past that in the new year. But we are putting ourselves on the hot seat literally. We asked you all to write in some questions, leave them in the comments section, and you know, we don't look at the comments, but I did say see that it was over eight hundred, So there were a lot of questions that.
You all had, and so we're going to answer as many of them as we can. But the kicker here is that we haven't seen them ahead of time. We specifically asked our producers do not let us know the questions ahead of time. So they went through them. They picked out as many as they as many as they could, and we're going to try to get to as many as we can in the next couple of episodes, starting with this one.
Yes, so it's fun not to see the questions. It can be a little uncomfortab well not to see the questions, but let's see what happens. Andy, what's our first one.
We have a whole bunch of questions. I'll dive right into it. This first one comes from Cameron and he asks if you're willing to share more. I'd love to hear about how you two fell in love after being friends for so long. What changed, When did you know your feelings were changing, and how long before you told each other this? Romantic would love to know.
Okay, fine, I having a problem with that. Look, when we knew it was probably summer of last year where we're like, oh that things were something else was evolving. Obviously we were about we were very close to entering divorce proceedings, but at that point we knew something was different. We didn't share that because we didn't share that season talking about publicly. We didn't share that with each other. Yes, because I am sitting over here going Lord, this has been a great best friend friendship. I don't need to screw this up by saying to her that there's something I'm feeling for her beyond the friendship. So we kind of tiptoed around it, and I didn't want to say anything. You didn't want to say anything. But then as we proceeded through last summer, things definitely changed and we started having conversations.
I suppose yes, I gosh, we've actually talked about this with each other. Trying to remember the moment, I think we started looking at each other differently. Is that fair?
Wait? How'd you start looking at me? This is? This is new to me too? Who was that romantic? The Cameron camera? Okay, Cameron, we are about to learn this together because I didn't know she was looking at me differently, So go go ahead.
I think I saw you looking at me different What the hell?
That sounds creepy as hell.
No, it was just we were spending so much time together at work, and then we didn't want it to end. I remember us both saying, oh, Fridays are a bummer because normally people are excited about Fridays, right, because.
You get to go home for the weekend. But that means we couldn't see each other again until.
Monday, right, and then Mondays were always like ugh for most people, and we were excited about Monday's. Yeah. And I think for me, that's when it started to feel different and we didn't necessarily want to be honest, I think with how we were feeling about each other because it didn't feel right, and I think that's when we kind of had to start asking ourselves without talking to each other first, about what was different. And so I think that's when it started in the summer where I didn't want it to be Friday and I was excited about Monday.
So all right, well we learned that together, Cameron. Did she really answer that? And I think so? How you looked at you? Said you noticed I started looking at you did? That's what it was.
I feel like there was a little extra twinkle in your eyes.
Oh my, it's absurd, a twinkle. I keep a twinkle in my eyes.
You do have a twinkle in thank you? Yeah?
And he said the same thing. Look at me right now, Andy, you see a twinkle, don't you? You have twinkling?
But what does Andy need to start questioning his friendship with you?
You were questioning your friendship with me? Okay, Cameron, this is a rough start. No, I didn't know that part about you thought I was looking at you differently.
I felt it.
We did run together a lot.
We did run.
You didn't see how I was looking at you when I was sorry?
He did run behind me?
All right, all right, Andy, what else you got? What does you get?
This next one comes from Charles. He asks who made the first move? How is your first kiss? And who said I love you first?
Definitely I was I said I love you first? That is for sure. Who made the first move? I don't think there was. But if I had to argue, if I go back, it was you. Wow, I would argue with you.
Yep, I saw the twa Did I lean in first?
It's not about a leaning in. It's about a move somebody who initiated something physical that was beyond what the friendship had been. I think that was you.
You think it was me?
I am. I am sure it was you, because look, so many people have stories of the people they've been with. We met here, we had a date here, Our first kiss was here. We don't I don't know when the first time it was I met you because we started out as strength somewhere to the studio. Did we have an official first date? No, I can't. We stream together the number of lunches and dinners and drinks we've had for the past nine years that nothing felt like a first anything. So when did we make it we had an official first? Maybe trip as a couple made an official first something like that, I remember, But no, we just don't have that because of how our relationship was. Man, you are this year, I'm the worst. You're the worst. At this game, I have to look.
Back at pictures from last week to remember, like what did we do? What was our lunch? And then I have to go back. And that's why I like to take pictures, because it reminds me of what we did.
We'll go back and figure out when you made that move on me, Andy? What else you get?
The next question is from Amelia and she writes, excuse me, y'all, I'm drunk at the Mariah concert in Philly, and I have two questions. One did Robin Roberts and others abandon y'all and cut contact? And two? One song that hypes y'all up on a run love y'all.
I love that she said, y'all.
Oh, yeah, where is she from? Where was Mariah before me in Philly?
Yeah she's not from Philly?
If she said, y'all, yeah, I don't think so.
Right. No, first question, we initially, I will say this, received nothing but support. I think we have texts to back that up. And when we first went back to work those first two days, my dressing room was filled with love and support. So I will say that that's where I can say things without any question. There was immediate and initial support okay.
Well, well the next part of that, the question was did did did Robin and who abandon us? Everybody else? It okay, you're done.
Not everyone. Not everyone abandoned us, And I would say that we got a lot of follow up texts, and I don't you know, I don't know how people feel about being aligned with us now, and I don't want to cause anybody any trouble. We all joked about Sarah Haynes and then it became like this headline. So I actually feel like I want to be careful about who I say continues to support us. But we have a lot of support from our former co worker.
I think that's a damn shame. We've had these conversations behind the scenes, and I think it's absolutely ridiculous that we are sitting here and we we we shouldn't even look at ourselves that way, like we are worried that, oh, if somebody is affiliated with us, that it's going to hurt them. That's I hate that we are even in that position. I don't think we should and that's something we're putting on ourselves. And we can talk about this. Just this week, this just happened, a headline about me and Charles Barkley going out for drinks. And you know this because he sent me the message the next day, and my heart sank and my first reaction was, man, I'm sorry that you had your name is even affiliated with me. This is a mother that I have been friends with for seventeen eighteen years, okay, and to feel that way is not how we should feel. And every single person we have said, well, we don't want to say your name, they said, I don't give a damn. I love you. I know it's okay, So maybe we should start getting out of that and away from that. But I understand for folks who have been in this industry, who have worked all these years to get their reputation to a certain place, that they don't want to at all be affiliated with anything that seems untowards it seems salacious. I get that. But to the question from the folks he are asking, look we talked to I said before. They have plenty of folks we saw every single day we ain't heard from since. And then there are plenty of people that we don't talk to that often or didn't who have been checking on us every day. So there's plenty of support. I don't know how quiet it is, but there are plenty of people at that network where we worked and at that show who have reached out, who have checked on, who are wonderful friends to us. And that continues.
And you can look at the comments because anyone who I follow can comment on our instagrams. So there are people who have decided to comment publicly, and I think those are the people who are okay with us talking about their support publicly.
And the other part of that was about the song, the hype song You're Run Too Ah.
I love levitating dua lipa. I think one of the ones that comes to my mind right away.
Mine, of course is Meek Mill Dreams of Nightmares.
Oh yes, hold.
Up, wait a minute, y'all thought I was finished. Oh my god, I love a song.
You play that for me the other day.
That's like the only lyric I can give that's clean enough for refeat. I think I love that song all right.
The next question is from Lisa, and she asks do you miss being an a and if you've got the opportunity, would you guys go back?
Absolutely yes, I do miss my job as an anchor. I spent nearly three decades getting to that place, and so had I felt like I checked all the boxes in everything I set out to do. Yes, and I was excited about more so, I one hundred percent missed my job. And would I go back on TV? Would I go back to being an anchor if it was the right fit. Yes.
I think we're at that point now. To answer our question, Lisa's question is that we are a little more discerning about what types of things we would do. There were plenty of opportunities that came our way in the past year. At least say ah, that wasn't the right thing, it didn't feel like the right thing, it wasn't the right time. So miss I miss people. I miss certain people I work with, But I also missed certain types of stories I did there. But there was a certain type of grind that I don't miss. There was a certain type of just energy zapping reality sometimes Network TV News that I don't necessarily miss, but has everything to do with what the opportunity is, where it is, what the responsibilities would be, what the commitment would be, and who I get to work with. Because my last co anchor, I would never go through that again. I will never have that kind of experience Andy that I had the last time I had a TV game, because that shit went sideways.
You don't say, Brittany, she asks, agree or disagree with the why. The fact is that you two stood up against unbelievable odds, unprecedented scrutiny, and the judgment of the world to rewrite your stories and live your truth. What advice would you give someone afraid to reset life mid cycle to live authentically?
I would say, well, I would say the bank. All of those things are practical. I'm going to talk about it from a personal, spiritual level. You have one shot at this life, and time is not guaranteed, and today is all you have. And so I thought about all of those things when I thoughtfully chose to be with this man. I think even when my daughters found out about this because of the tabloids, and they were shocked and thrown a punch that I think a lot of people felt when they found out about us. I remember my oldest daughter said to me, you know, that was just so such a like a like. She thought it was such a quick decision, that it was just an abrupt thing. I just leapt into and I said, no, I thought about this. I sat with this. I knew how I felt, I knew how he felt about me, I knew how I felt about him, And I really carefully considered what I wanted to do before I did it. And part of what I considered was my answer journey, the people who I love, who I am friends with, who are living it still, and I am so acutely aware of how rare it is to find something like this, and how we have one shot at life and one shot at love. And I wasn't living my truth. And if living your truth means making a change, it's hard, it can be messy, it's difficult oftentimes, and you will be met with a lot of people telling you otherwise. But you know, like when you feel your chest and your heart like you know what's right. And if you follow that and you try to do write by everybody along the way, I say, go for it.
And we don't that you're that point there we I don't necessarily find what we went through extraordinary. I only find it extraordinary in the way it got covered and things like that. But there are so many folks in in this country right now who have lived some type of journey that was that one didn't work out, so I ended up here or just life, love, marriage, relationships can be messy, and everybody actually knows that if you've lived a certain amount of life. But it just happens that ours was thrown out and we didn't have control of a certain story. And think, okay, fine, but I don't think. I don't want to hold us up as anything any more extraordinary necessarily than so much of what other people are going through. I do find it extraordinary that people follow through on it. Sometimes we ended up in this point. I never wanted to be divorced. I never wanted a little Sabine's family to not be together. But here is where we are, and I am happier and healthier and actually a better daddy to now to being the place that I am now. So I agree with everything that Robot just said. But yeah, life is life is really really short. And you go through something like she went through with her cancer journey, and all of our families we've had issues and cancer and death we've seen around us, you just like, wow, you stop. I heard this word. We were out not too long ago. Somebody use this word. I was used the phony like I was a phony. And I don't want to live that you live when we live public lives, and you want to live truly personally and behind the scenes, but also publicly as well. So here we are. So what was her name again? The person asked a question that was Brittany. Okay, Brittany, Thank you.
Brittany, go for it, Live your truth.
This next one comes from Abigail. She asks what kind of stories and guests do you guys hope to have on the podcast and do you have any dream guests for the podcast?
Mmmm. I think both of us are storytellers and we love to tell other people's stories, so we cannot wait to start talking about other people. But you know what, I hope to These are always the things I want to do, and I hope we can do this in this podcast. We want to entertain, we want to inform, we want to inspire, and we want to give something to people to aspire to maybe even to learn from. And I'm always learning and oftentimes you learn through difficult times. So we're hoping this is a safe space for anybody who has something to share with our audience. Like if we can bring people on, I don't care if they're famous or they're not who when you're listening to them, you learn something from them, and yes, we hope you're entertained along the way as well. But I really hope there's a takeaway each time we have a guest. So there's not a guest or a specific person, I think it's the story and the idea behind whatever their message is. That's we're looking for something that's going to give you inspiration, give you purpose, give you something to learn from, even if it's don't do what I did. You know, that's the kind of guest and those are the kinds of stories we're hoping to tell.
I was trying to say I agree with everything she said. I just was trying to find a like a name, who I would love to in this format, because there's people I would have loved to interview you on television that in this format I wouldn't necessarily want them, right, this is just the more comfortable. It's an intimate way of chatting with somebody. So a name, because I want to give to Abigail something like an actual name. But soon as I give a name, it's going to end up being.
A call out, Hey, yeah, and did they get them or not?
Maybe you should do that. We should just list a whole bunch of people now and put them on the spot.
We'll just start booking people right now.
All right, what do you got next? I all right.
The next one comes from Susie and she asks, are you guys spending the holidays together?
Susie, that's a good question, you know. I think a lot of people are in this situation. Everyone would love a nuclear, traditional family, and one divorce is hard enough, trying to figure that out two divorces is even more complicated. So I think we're trying to do what our kids would like us to do. I think we've let them lead the way up until now. And I don't think there's a playbook or a handbook for this, and a different therapist will tell you something different. But we will spend time together. Yeah, I've gone through a few in my life. I'm yeah, I think, yeah, that's embarrassing, but true. Well, I'm always looking for help and guidance, and I know I don't know best always, but we will be together, and we're we don't have the exact plan in place. We're trying to figure it out, but we're both going to be here in New York and our daughters are going to be here in New York, and so we will piece it together.
Yes, is the answer.
Mine was a little bit more complicated and probably too honest. Go ahead, next question.
Lease, all right. This next one comes from jam and it's a great question. She asks, what do you wish everyone knew about your story that they don't know right now?
Oh? That's that is great. I you know, I wish folks got to uh, had a better understanding of the past eight years, eight years before we started dating, and understanding of the foundation that we had built right it's and where we were. People saw chemistry on the air, people saw and people behind the scenes saw our friendship. We were ridiculous together to the point of annoyance, Like those two just get me away from these things.
We were the kids in the class. You had to be separated by the teacher always.
So I just that friendship is something I wish people had a better understanding of, because again, we didn't have control over when people found out that we were actually in a relationship. So it was I think that disgusted us most is that something that was we were so careful about and so deliberate and took so much great care in was being thrown out as just something salacious and.
Tawdryus an affair, some sexy like just affair, which it was the last thing that this was. TJ told me he loved me before he ever held my hand. I don't think I've ever had that experience before in my life, where it was an emotional connection that we acknowledged before anything physical ever happened. And that was pretty amazing. I'd like people to know that that was.
Yeah, that's that sucks. I mean, everybody seemed to know how great we were, even where we worked, knew how great we were because they were the ones that kept putting us together.
Y'all are greed together. You should go to London together. Y'all should go to yeah, New Orleans together. Y'all should just be on the road and and and so there was something to it, I don't It just took us a little bit longer to realize it.
Interesting, and this next question comes from Elvin. It's an interesting one. They ask, do you think you were set up because of the Epstein case?
No, I don't think that this had anything to do with that. There are a lot of conspiracy theories that surround that. And you know that well, I think we'll probably get into that in another episode, another podcast, because there was a lot to be told about that, and I understand why people are interested. I was frustrated, I think, if anyone doesn't know, long story short, I was caught on a hot mic at ABC when I was in between promos, when I didn't think I was being recorded, when I didn't think I was being listened to. But that shame on me, because I should know better. When you have a microphone on, someone's always listening and someone could always potentially be recording, and that's what happened. But yes, I had done a very significant interview which clearly pointed the finger at Epstein. I believe it was several years before he was actually found out, and so I was extremely frustrated at work that I wasn't able to get that story on the air. And so in a moment where I was frustrated, it got caught on camera. And yeah, so there are a lot of people who believe that there was some sort of backlash or some sort of you know, agenda against me, and you know, I did deal with some repercussions because of that, But I don't think that what was put out about TJ and I had anything to do with my Epstein reporting or my lack thereof.
We know it didn't, gotcha.
Next one, on the topic of therapy, Susie asked, do you actually see a couple therapists?
We're looking right now.
Yeah, we don't have God, we don't think God. We don't need a couple therapists yet. And I say yet yet, I'm kidding. I feel like, oh, this experience has been therapy in and of itself. But I have been in therapy for quite some time. I actually don't see one regularly now, but I like through this all, I think nine months every week I was in therapy starting last the summer before this all came to light. And you know my daughters, one of them is now actually still seeing a therapist, the other one's not. But I'm always open to it.
And you think we should know, all right? Why not?
We talk a lot, We talk it out, and I think we actually have really great communication, which is pretty unique.
Great Kevin, he asks, who was the first person that both of you told about your relationship?
Okay, I know mine, Oh, Nikki, my best friend, Niki Espina, She's the first person I told. I told her I told her speaking of a therapist. She she guessed, and I confirmed when right before it came out.
You didn't tell me this.
I know. I'm telling you now.
You gotta be getting me right now, Bro, you told her?
I confirmed right before.
I mean you confirmed. No, that's told not.
No, she asked me directly. I said, yes, or more than friends.
Are you aware that you didn't tell me that? I am? Okay, Now, why didn't you tell me that?
Because a lot happened, like it was literally days?
No, no, no, no. Why didn't you tell me that? Because you knew my reaction might be how it is right now and I'd be pissed. Yeah, because that's what's happened.
Probably, Sorry, Okay, maybe we need a therapist.
Oh so this relationship is all jokes to you now, huh, it's just funny.
I know, Yeah, that happened. Wow, who's the first person you told?
I didn't tell anybody? Yeah, because I didn't have to because everybody knew by the time I was getting around to it, so I didn't. There was nobody ever told. Yeah, not a soul. I didn't think I should because I thought that might be a betrayal to the person I was dating Andy.
Thank you so much, Kevin, great question. Yeah all right, Katrina asks, are you guys going to tie the knot?
You want to answer this to? Have you already told somebody that we are? Should I call Nikki and see how our relationship is going?
No?
No, no, no, oh.
You he's still reeling from the last ques.
Like all I see in your face right now is Denise Richards and undercover brothers.
Oh my god, yes, oh my god, it's it's under consideration.
What was the question again?
Are you guys going to tie the knot?
Oh? Please? Yeah, I'm learning so much about it.
So here's what I would say. We did not enter this relationship for fun or for let's see what happens. We entered this relationship because we intended on spending our lives together. So whether or not we have some sort of legal uh you know, I don't know button on it, that's like I don't know. We we both have two marriages under our belts, and so it's not something we're racing to or rushing towards. But there is something I get it. It's this this thing that I don't I can't even explain why there's this desire but I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I can say that, but you don't want to marry me.
It's on the table. It's on the table.
We do need a marriage counselor excuse me, a couple of counselors, a couple.
You jumped to the next step, but wait, how about you only I answered that. Yeah, that's funny.
You've seen the gifts under the tree. You notice that little bit box. Did you notice the tiny box?
Yeah? I did. I know what's in it, though, Savine keeps.
Talking about the tiny box. Yeah, she wants to know the time. Surprise in that tiny box.
Yeah it's not from Jared.
Okay, I want to marry you in part right, I'm saying that out loud. Yeah, I want to marry you because you are fifty and I'm forty.
Six, and you had to point the very.
Sick of introducing you, a fifty year old woman, this is my girlfriend. That just sounds stupid.
But thank you for noting the age difference everybody.
I appreciate that everybody. But you're gonna be fifty one soon. I'll be forty six. So this means when you're in high school, I was in elementary school.
He does this a lot. He loves to point this.
Out in college. I was in junior high school. Wow, how cool.
If you could only have known that.
This is awesome.
Yeah right, I'm impressed for you.
S So yes, we're going to again, friend of you know, we brought up Chuck already, So friend Charles Charles Barkley. He's been saying this for years. If you get it past a certain age thirty plus, you cannot be calling somebody your girlfriend and your boyfriend. You've outgrown that.
You did. Note though, Lucky for us, when we actually meet people, we don't have to say this is my boyfriendj. They already know we're past that. We don't really have to introduce each other, so we don't really have to use that language.
Oscar asks, what is one word to sum up your twenty twenty three.
Educational peace.
You want to elaborate on yours.
I've just learned more than I've ever learned about, not just myself, about people who I thought I knew about, what I thought journalism was, what I thought it could feel you like to be on the other side of public opinion, just things that I thought I knew I was wrong about and I have learned so much. I am wiser and I am more prepared for what comes next.
And I think my answer peace actually ties into all that. In learning all of those things as well, I have gotten to like really one of the best places I've ever been in my life with friends, some people and friends in or whatever it may, whoever it may be. Some things have gotten out of my life that serve their purpose. But it's time for those things to go. And when you start to find you get back to who you actually are when you strip away some of these things, like wow, I was doing this for that person or I was being this way for that thing or for that job, because I thought this was you finally get to a point of peace. And so I'll keep saying I'm happier and healthy and I've ever been in my life. And it took twenty twenty three and a year of peace, and it was more stuff in there, but it's there was some peace outs. Thank God. Though really you look at some of that stuff, but yeah, piece is mine. Well as you got.
Andy, Tony asks what's your favorite thing to cook together?
He's laughing because, oh that Tony, So I used to cook, but he's so much better than me, So I like to watch him cook. And what is our favorite? So my favorite thing that you cook, I can say that is the chimmy chery sauce and the steak and the salad. It's really good.
Savine loves that too, that's a favorite. But yes, I we don't. We don't cook together.
Well, I'm in the room with you, I'm in the kitchen.
We're together while I'm cooking. How about that? Yes, so, but we don't. We do not cook together. And I love cooking. I love being I love that environment. I love being in the kitchen and people around and the wine is flowing and people are chatting. But I love, love love that. So I'll well, yesterday was I can I believe you said? This is one of the favorite things I've ever made.
Oh, I'm so good.
It was just lunch. She wanted lunch and we were gonna have lunch. And we had an option. You could just heat something up, we could just throw something in. But I made a shaved Brussels sprout, chicken.
Rilled chicken, hard boiled egg. It was so good. But by the way, I would help, he just won't let me. You know, when I say, hey, is there anything I can do? Do you know what he says to me, just don't make me nervous, and said, so.
That's our cooking experience, don'ty. We don't cook together, even we have parties that we've hosted. Yeah, and I have to feed twenty people and I cook every single bite of food that is consumed that night.
And I'm so happy to take the chef hat off after like, yes I am. I'm just And by the way, I know when someone's better than.
Me, So just a certain things.
Yeah, no, you're better at preparing meals than me.
Wow. You made sure you corrected that, didn't you.
Oh yeah, all right, Haley, she asks, it's corny. But I want to know. I want to know if y'all have a song after episode two. I'd be willing to bet it's not anything in the yacht rock genre. I love having you guys back on the air in this new, awesome capacity.
Oh thank you, Hailey for that.
We do have a song.
There's a bunch of songs. Do you want to give it out? Because we were considering you want to give it out?
Okay, fine, okay, Ed Sharon leave your life.
I sent that song to her it was probably last summer at some point I heard that song and just if people are familiar with it, if you're not, go listen to it now. But at Sharon, leave your life, I'm never going to leave your life.
That's when I knew you love me.
And that's what it was. We have a bunch of other songs that we crack up about.
Yeah, but that's our song.
That would be the one that's it. That's so cute. Oh.
Jessica asks, what's your advice for someone who has a crush on or is falling for their best friend whoa It's.
Tough right getting out of the friend zone because we valued our friendship so much. That was the scariest thing. Do we actually do this and risk losing our best friend?
We had that conversation. We actually it was more important that we stayed friends than it was to risk and trying a relationship.
There really was the advice I would say, ugh, is make sure the other one feels the same way about you before you.
Say see no, no, no, no, no, okay, okay, Well was it Haley? That is a typical her answer. This is where we are different because I would give different advice. She would and I absolutely you would hold on to and make sure you didn't put yourself out there without knowing it's going to absolute be reciprocated because you couldn't stand the rejection of the humiliation. Is that fair to say?
Yes? But I also didn't want to make it weird too. Yes. Correct. I fully admit that. Okay, fully admit that.
So I and I'm on the other side of that in that I ain't got I'm a grown ass man. Why am I handing a note like I'm in third grade? Do you like me? Check yes or no? No, I'm a grown man. If you don't feel the same way, why am I sitting? I can't hold it to myself? Life is short. You talked about this, so life, Haley, you go for it. If this is what you feel that person, you could lose them tomorrow and you will never They will never know how you felt about them if they reciprocate. Fine, but how are you ever going to know unless you speak?
You go for it. You were really good. I remember the conversation now, and you were just like, look, I'm feeling this way. If you don't feel the same way, that's fine. But here's what I'm feeling and it took someone to make a bold move and it wasn't me.
Yeah, like in the kitchen, I'm chadding and I'm chadding. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, But that was So what would you tell Hayley? No, make sure the other person feels the same? How are you gonna find out? You're almost embarrassed by the advice? But I don't know.
It's scary, it's a I'm just acknowledging. I'm validating how she's feeling because it's scary. It's very scary, and you don't want to lose the friendship, Okay, but you.
Don't also want to lose the opportunity. And life is fricking short. Go for it now. If you're not hurting yourself or hurting somebody else, then I am fully endorsing whatever it is you may want to do. That's what's the worst that can happen? They say, I don't feel the same, So what's the best that can happen? And that Michael Singer we always talk about all the time. He always tells people, all right, we always sit up all day long and think about what could go wrong, worst case scenario. We don't ever think about the best case scenario. Haley's going to write in next week and say, hey, Jerks, so I took your advice. He moved all right.
This next question comes from Kyle. He asks, if you guys were asked to be on Dancing with the Stars, would you accept them?
No?
Okay, no, next question, do we.
Want to talk about rhythm? No, we can do that later.
Okay, new way, all right, so no Dancing with the Stars. Jenny asks what got you through this last year and if anything, what would you have maybe done a little bit differently.
The past year. I think each other. I don't think there's any question about that. We Yeah, we we had each other and it was it meant everything, and there was I guess easily we could have broken down in a whole bunch of moments, but we got better and stronger. And I think we've said it before. I shout her to think if we didn't have each other through this all, and so I think.
That was There's no question. Some people might call it trauma bonding, but I would actually say we did lean on each other in such a beautiful way, and I actually feel like it was d that we were both really low. If you were low, I was up. If I was low, you were up. And we really did just lift each other back up. We just happened to not be in sync when it came to those low moments, which was a good thing. And I cannot imagine going through something like this alone. And yeah, we got stronger, better, deeper.
And you said that was the last part of that question.
What was the what would you have done differently?
Definitely differently this past year? Again, it's the past year is one thing. I think it's just initial. It was just an initial letting our families, our kids know what was going on. I think we that's the thing we go back to. I can't. It's still difficult to what I would have done differently. It's so easy to go back right in hindsight and do it. But every time, like I'm sitting here in this room with Emma and Andy in the Ourheart studio with a woman I love talking openly about wanting to marry her that I feel great about doing that, if anything had been done differently, maybe who knows how it would have ended up. So it's hard to go back and have regret. I just I think that's all just being more open to the kids about it and being more open, I guess publicly, but still it's hard to put myself in the mindset that I need to tell the world that I'm getting a divorce. It's just it's tough to do that. But I guess those were the things to do differently.
Yeah, and I agree with everything you're saying. Transparency would have been better for us getting through the year, But once we were in the thick of it, I don't know what else we could have done. And I'm actually proud that we didn't speak. I'm actually happy and really okay with the fact that we laid low and took our time to process what was going on and to try and help heal our families. I definitely believe that was the right thing to do. We wanted to speak, we wanted to clap back, we wanted to say that's not right, that's not true, and it was frustrating not to be able to do so. But I still stand by our decision to be quiet and to let things settle. But it was tough.
