Well, come back to another episode of All give me this. I'm your host. Kevin Pop Yes, not Kevin No. Actually, I don't think the film tooks he holds up at all. No, I don't buy the premise, and the great Dustin Hoffman never stops being a man in drag. The fact that anyone buys him as a woman is just too much displieved for me to suspend. Fund yourself. I'm sorry. I know I'm in the minority and everyone else is in love with this film. It's superb fine, I get it, truly good for you, but the premise is performance garbage. But I digress. Craig, you're not in your head. You agree it all a little bit oh weird hill to die on? Yeah, right, Only forty years after the release, I rewatched it and I was like, this is horrible. Yes, thank you for that. It is a bizarre hill to die on. And enough of digression. Let's meet Kama Shower in a particular order. Let's check in with Christop Armovers two European Honeymoon review. Big a funny you say that because I'm scrolling through pictures right now, not on my honeymoon. The honeymoon was great, it was perfect love Italy. But more importantly, I keep forgetting to say this, and I want to tell you, guys, And I'm sure you've all I'm sure Craig and Mark have done this once already. But I got a wordle in one the other day. What I was thinking about one, you just guessed what the word was going to be. That's what I'm trying to pull here. This here, this, here, it is what you can pull once from the past. No, because I knew I wanted, I knew I wanted to show you, guys. Is that something Kevin again? Italy? Beautiful? But how about this? Is that? Mark? Do you are? Is that impressive? I'm impressed. I don't know if that's really impressive. That was a good guess, But that's not the skill of the game. I've never I've never got in one. Carla got in one on that same day. No, can I circle all of you back to that's technically more important than your trip to your eye like a big pizza pie. Technically it's more recent. But dear Lord, you have a life experience that looked like one of the greatest trips of a lifetime. And this is a life experience. This it was, it was wonderful. I you know what, Listen, we've all been on vacations, we've all done things before. Italy is the only place where I thought, I want to go back there as soon as possible. Yeah, maybe Marco is the same way. It's like, this place is fucking incredible. Yeah, it's it's crazy incredible. Um and lastly, uh, thoughts on tutsie have you seen it? Oh my, there's Jack Gonzalez Ruth a little d favorite Italian dishtion one. Wow, yep, this it's difficult hard Okay, No, this is ordering. Yeah, this is what I'm ordering every time an Italian restaurant. I'm going to get the linguini. That's linguini with clams um. And it's like in like an olive oil garlic situation, not a creamy situation, not a tomato situation, otherwise known as sauce. Those have been falling along the word situation could also be swamped out for sauce, could be subbed, could be subed. Oh I don't like that. You don't like the Italian like that Grandma's Sunday gravy learned what that was the other day. This woman's like I'm making Sunday gravy, and I was like, what is that? My world was not full of gravy growing up. Dr Gagliardi away in when it well. Then she described it to me and I was like, oh goddamn, because I thought it was like I remember moving to Chicago and people ordering biscuits and gravy, and I love biscuits, but good God, don't throw all of this stuff, like what, don't make them? What? Um, give me just the buttermilk. I don't know what it's like in Miami whatever. I had never heard of it. It was something new, something a little disturbing. So when I heard Sunday gravy, that's what I was thinking. And then she described it to me, and I was like, oh, ship, give me that. Yeah, there's a lot less flower involved in the creation of these Grandma's Sunday grades. And there's like a whole pork chop is disintegrated in in hers in hers, whole pork chops as degraded in there, the chop part, but incredible disintegrated situation. You should be a food writer or you should get a food writer either. It is really funny. Sorry, I don't take the time but just really funny that when when Craig said that Carla got the same one I did a word your actually was that's fun up. That means something, And I don't know if it's good or bad, but it means I don't worried for your marriage, for both of your marriages. I don't know why. I'm a word girl something. It means something. Wow, it means something. I love wordle I love spaghetti with clams in a garlic situation. Just disintegrate into the situation. And if you want to put some meat, disintegrate it in there. It sounds delicious. Oh I'm I'm oh, whoa wait? Backed by popular demand? What is this with his boat House on a Lake review? Here's Craig Kaikowski Kakaw Boathouse on a Lake. I'll tell you what, if you want to build a boat house, the best place to do it is on a lake, because yeah, I've I've seen boat houses like a couple of miles inshore and they do not work as well. You can definitely store the boat in there, but getting the boat into the water is the crucial part. And uh so I think the boat house needs to be on the lake or or the ocean or somebody of water in order to work. Otherwise it's gonna be a real fucked up sauce. Hey use them interchangeably. Yes, you did, you prove the point. There's Mark Gagliardi, Hi strange mark on your pants. What is the origin of the term Jerry rigged? Uh? The uh? There was? Wasn't it Germany? Like it was Germans could like figure out how to duct tape something together. I don't know, Like I assume that the term comes from Germans. Um. Very industrious terms come from Germans. Um. Calling it gravy comes from Germans Um. No, we can actually just to go back to that before. We absolutely call red sauce in my family gravy. Always have. We make the Sunday gravy, and yes, my dad will fill it with meat at the beginning of the day and it will all have disintegrated into a delicious meat sauce by the Yeah. Yeah, I'm team gravy um. But Jerry rigging um was was invented by a German named Jerry I believe, if I'm remembering this correctly, he was the first person to ever take duct tape and use it on something besides a duct. That's correct. I knew you'd have it. And last, but you can completely kiss my grids. If you think of leaves, it's James Heeny jingle, Johnny James. What was the most memorable aspects of being on the set of that recent indie film you did? I mean, there's a lot, but the big thing was one day we had a snake wrangler on set because they need to make sure as we ran through grass that was almost to our waist, that there was no rattlesnakes there. And they went through found yours and they did it with a black light at night and they were shining it to see everything. They didn't find any snakes, but they found scorpions and they kept the scorpion. And here's was even crazier on set because there was an animal. There's somebody that represents the safety of animals, so they couldn't just kill the scorpion like it should be killed. I had to keep it and then set it free afterwards. But then after they caught that one scorpion, they said it was all clear and we could run through the area. In short, what what state was this area in that you have scorpion? Scorpions and snakes, and I don't want to scare anybody. But it was in Malibu, so there are scorpions not only in California, but in Los Angeles County. Swanky Malibu. Yeah. Yeah, this India I'm doing also had a rattlesnake wrangler. We were at the Disney ranch up in your Santa Clarita Lancaster area and and we did find or he I certainly found none, probably from a lack of looking ahead. Craig, did you do You worked at the Disney ranch with many times, so any times I remember. I remember that one morning, I know I'm taking it too much time we have a whole show. No no. I pulled up to I was doing a commercial, um, and I get It's like six am and there's Craig. I was like, oh ship, Craig and Ireland's commercial together. I'm like, dude, what are you doing here? Is like drunk history. I was like, it was a real it was a real letdown. And then I said, snake safe. I couldn't kill him, right. Yeah. It was very strange. Um. And underneath the house where everyone had just been walking around and sitting on the deck of this you know, built house, on the Disney ranches where they shoot a lot of TV and movie and commercials of course. Um, and yeah, that's it was cool under there. And this sizeable like a almost five footer, the aforementioned Carla Kakowski everyone five, that's almost my height exactly, just poked its head out from underneath this house just like that. I had five fingers for a face. Oh my god, being this is so much fun. It come right to my eyeballs. Yes, well, yeah they really stand. But if you were lying down, I think we have a better point. Um, can someone put the snake next to Jackie most he's lying down, it'll be funny. Let's do a mini show. Um. All of our scene suggestions have been gathered from a listener emails or from our patron v I p s. And we thank each and every damn one of you for all of you wanting to be involved in the show, as well as supporting us through patron In fact, that after some three episodes under our belts, the time has come for us to step away from this glorious fun. Yes, we must bid you a grateful so long, not farewell forever, but just so long for now. New episodes were all out through the end of the month. Your Patreon will not be charged. In the coming months, James will be sending you all a note in case of some of you didn't realize you had a note from James waiting for you by the time you're hearing this. And again, we thank you all so very very much for telling everyone you've ever known to listen to the podcast, and you may continue to do so. Um will will you know the library of so many episodes will be there for you anyway. Thank you again, sincerely, if not lovingly, and now on with the show. Scene one is from patron VP pat C, who wrote, Hey, howdy, hi, y'all. Scene suggestion what happens when scientists finally learn everything there is to know about the universe? Stay classy, pat, Sorry, Jim, Um, we're gonna need you to clean out your desk and well I'm just about finished with this. Hold on, I've got my microscope and I'm looking at little tiny Jim. Jim, we're gonna need that. Yeah, thanks, Larry. Uh oh, well, what are you doing. You're taking all my These are my tools for the research that I'm doing, and they there's no more research. We've got it all you're done what. We appreciate everything you've done for the institute. In fact, you're my personal favorite. Don't tell the others, But as Larry said, we're going to give you about nine months minutes to box it all up with these apple boxes. I've got years of research that I don't think they'll fit in all these we got it all this. We're turning this space into a spirit Halloween rental. Oh what that can't be right? That the upset we've we've got. We've got all the information, we figured out, all the all the all the questions we've ever had about the universe have been answered thanks to you. We went out really far and we discovered everything that was in a distance. But I wanted to start looking. Have you seen the end of the First Men in Black movie? Three times? Uh? It does host But let me ask you this, what are you gonna do with all your free time? Do you think? Just a quick question. I always wondered what you would do if you wanted here nineteen hours a day. Oh, I don't know. Maybe I've always considered. When I was in high school, it was either science or football. Maybe it's not too late to get into football. It's never. Alright, kid, what'd you say your name was? Again? My name's Edric? Alrighted oh yeah, right there on the back of your jersey. Alright, it's my last name. I think that's what goes for you know, non me the whole story. I just need you to run out there. See those guys out there standing in the circle. Go join that s tell him you're on the team now and uh and tell him to get the ball to you. Introduce yourself to those guys. I realize it's the middle of a game, in the middle of a huddle. I don't care. This is how we do things around here. Probably I out there three we're gonna do I'm three point quick break. Hey, Hey, who are you pal? Hi? I'm three point one four. Is my jersey number. I'm Edric, and I got put onto the team. So he's like, we're going on here. Let me help you up there. Newby name is Johnson. Welcome. What's your name? Hill? You can just call me three point one four. I got to pick my own number. Yeah, you sure did. What's your position to be? Well? New new position? I guess maybe uh, liner, back, linebacker, linebacker. Well, you've come to the right place. Canadian football. Will you'll fit right in? Uh? What what brought you to us? If I may? Sorry, we got sports. I didn't a greatly understand any of that. Just line up like the rest of us and hit the guy in front of you. Okay, guys, big one, Okay, scientists, thank you for gathering here for the World Scientists Summit, the w s S, as you all know, the World Scientists Summit. Thank you, Thank you well. Um, really interesting news coming out of California. It's all on this folder here. Moron, how's that? Do you just said? Interesting news California? And I just thought that sort of flies in the face of reality as we know it. Science scientists can actually be really funny too. Yeah, we can be pretty goofy. We can be pretty silly. Watch this, Hey, who's on first? All right now, listen, listen, there's a there's an official WSS open mic after the conference. Sometimes I get really crazy and goofy and I order just like a sandwich at whatever the easiest sandwich to make at a restaurant is. But then I asked them to put you know, bacon or avoca. I asked him to add just one thing on top. I get so crazy, So goofy. So we can save that for the talent show and open mic after the conference. What's the news, Well, it's all done. We can wrap it up. We've learned everything there is to know about the universe. Yeah, save it for open mind this one. Thank you. This is I'm not joking. Ask me any question. I have the answer right here. Anybody, what have you been working on? What's your research? Well, I'm sorry question, um? How long until the universe collapses upon itself in what they call the coladicalismic events? Well, an, what is the word I'm looking for? Thank you? It should eventually contract and explode. What is that going to happen? It's gonna happen in two hundred thousand years. That's faster than I thought. I not a question. Who's God? Yes? Oh yes, yes, yes, good one. See here's here? Oh interesting, Ellen de generous Jesus Christ. Not what we're thinking it would be. Wow, he thought that. I was that you thought that God? Oh God? I was just thinking, He's going to say, Ellen, de generous? Well, because it is all knowing? What up? Okay? Okay? Science, sciences, science, science is real in the universe, is what I was why was God hanging out with George W. Bush at that football game? Then? Yeah? Yeah, what you got there? Let's see, Um does this say photo up? It says a photo opportunity. I assume an opportunity for photographic And why didn't God compensate her her writers? Accordingly? Yeah? Can I is that the that hard copy of all the information right there? Yeah? Is that the only? Is that the only one? Well? And I have it all in this thumb drive that I keep with me at all times. At all times. Theoretically we could destroy it to keep ourselves employed. Right there? Now, God didn't pair her rider's I want to go on this train and thought like, theoretically if we all surrounded you right now, tackled you to the ground and uh, and still that drive from you send it from and Mike Jim, Yeah, there's still forty five more minutes left of the conference. You can bring your material. I was told there would be a Halloween costumes here. I'm just seeing a lot of lab coats. Yah, it's a big hit this year. Did you not want to go as a scientist. I've been a scientist before. It's always fun, you know, to get you to get a lab coat, you know, maybe a stethoscope. Yeah about these tesla coils that that might be, you know, heavier than I want to carry around, But I'm looking for something scarier. Yeah, what do you got mine? What are you thinking? Politician? Yeah? Do you have a politician? Alf, we do? We have a democrat, republican, libertarian? What are you looking for? Let me go as a libertarian? What what is that outfit? It feels like it feels like whatever you want, whatever you want, that's exactly right, truly up to you. In fact, you're you're kind of in costume right now. Oh so people will get right away. I've gone as a happy Halloween everybody, as you know. Again I did the costume contest. Yeah yeah, I'm handing out awards right now. All right, Chuck, Chuck, you get third place for Frank Stone than they're pas. That's a nice change of pace from going as the monster. Yeah, yeahs a doctor. That was genius. It really was that lab coat. Alright, Barb, you get second place for ursula. Oh taking voices, thank you so much? Okay, and um and number one goes to goes to Bill for the cargo cargo shorts and uh tink top thank you. Maybe you can answer the question now, Bill, what you were dressed as since everyone's kind of been wondering and you got first place. Well, I think since I won, it speaks for itself. Right. Let's guess you dressed as a winner cargo shark and a tank top. Yeah? Did you go as I don't know, riff raff? Good? No, just general lowercase riff raff. I thought you meant riff raff from Rocky horror picture show different describe people that you're undesirable raff? Are you going as massively unemployable Chicago frat boy in the summer? Good guess? God give me the fuller. Listen listening animals, animals, answers in there that you might not want to think about that, think about that. All the information is in this boulder and in this gun drive. You might not like what you see. That's why. Yeah, way to not make your arguments scientists. Yeah, you know what, I hadn't consider that join us save all of our jobs. But is it just for the job saving? Because I can get into the job. I'm thinking about playing professional basketball. So in Canada I did one session, Yeah, Canada, I did one session of football in Canada. It didn't hurt bad. I'm just saying covered. I mean, if I'm not looking into a microscope and saying I don't know what the hell I could do? What you could do that in other fields, like Mike, I don't know this. Microsoft doesn't use that. If that's what you were gonna say? All right, everybody, so we we we want to get rid of all the answers, everything we learned just to keep our jobs. Is that? Is that right? Not just to keep our jobs. The world's gonna lose all mystery if there are no more and if there, if we have all the answers, there'll be no more questions. Oh of course that too? Who I mean? That was? That was the second reason? Shot up Padrick. You're being selfish? No, come on, look good guys. Come on, does the world really want to know everything? Is it better to not know some things? Do you really want to know what's in a hot dog? Or that God is Ellen degenerous? Huh I guess I guess not. Well how about this? Why don't we pass this folder around, this file and you look up one answer to one question you might have, and then we'll throw it all away. Anybody wants, every wants the opportunity to maybe learned something about the universe before I'll go first, give me that folder. Oh Jesus Christ, whoa Okay, okay, who's next? My turn? My turn? Well, this can't be right. It's all right, this can't be right. Okay, let me let me see. Let me see that. Okay, all right, so it is an infinite amount of turtles? Interesting? Okay? Anybody else? Yeah, yeah, let me see that. All right? Ah was okay? So you two wanted you had the same Bernie question. Yeah, that's right. Science, Science, prove that is a solid movie. Houston. H We have a problem, Houston, We have a problem. Could you be more general? Well, you know, you know we have some issues up here. Our ship it will not be able to make the descent back into Earth at its current state, and you were going to send us the tools that we needed to fix it. Now now you're saying space program Science is getting shut down, and and where does that leave us, because because we need to re enter Earth, you know, we have an infinite amount, not an infinite we have a do you though, do you though need to re enter atmosphere? Yeah? We have. Are you not happy? Up there, Lieutenant listen up. I don't. It's not about about me being personal. It's not about my personal life. I've made mistakes. I've made mistakes opening up to you before Houston, and you made me feel like this is an intimate conversation when I know that I'm on an intercom to the entire control floor, just the two of us. What do you want to say? Well, it's getting hard to be up here. All theory is she said it, She's complained and sorry the fuck rogers. I'm sorry someone had a bad sandwich order. Some people are listening. Thank god I didn't give any real details. List that has seen one scene two comes from listener Laban Chapel or Chapelle, who wrote, Hello Alchemist, longtime listeners, second time email or I'll admit I pretty much have to listen to the pod solo since I never know how the scenes will go and what crazy as ship y'all will come up with or say mm hmm. For that, I thank you. Don't worry, though, I do share with some of my longtime friends that share my demented sense of humor in very judging anyway. Being born and raised in the low country of South Carolina and having my home in Charleston for seventeen years, and Charleston being such a hotbed for COVID relocators. I thought a great scene suggesting would be your take on how the South is handling all of the cultures moving in on it with nothing but love and respect. Laban Chap, just stop staring at that other table over there. They're gonna look over, they're gonna see you staring at him. Well, I've just never seen anything like it. It's all right there people too. They're just people right right, but they're not from here, and I just lets all get out. Well, then go ask them. You'll look, we were to get a person just like that, Mom and dad, I'm gonna get a bunch of Piersons on my face. You are not. You will not get a piercing. I'm you're not getting a fedora and you're not getting a piercing. It looks good now, darlings. Yeah, y'all need to spend a little more time eating your grids, unless time staring at a new night. Well. I hate to say it, honey, but you were setting a pretty terrible example just staring that table down like that. I'm gonna go excuse me, ma'am. I ordered. I ordered the biscuits and gravy, and uh I expected to get more of a more of an Italian American sauce thing going on with these with these biscuits. Well, well, honey, I don't know what to tell you. Around here, gravy is thick, beige and chunky. Okay, okay, so gravy is not synonymous with sauce. Gravy is synonymous with gravy around here, sugar, Well, I'm from I'm from Queen's Queens that in England. No, no Queens New York story. Come on, oh whoa, well, well whoa yeah, yeah, I came down here to get rid of that. You get away from the COVID yeah, and enjoy some cobblestone streets and then shrimp. That's us. That's not not to not to reduce your beautiful historic city to no. No, no, I mean, look at our flags. The flags are made up of the cobblestone streets and shrimps. That's us. Well, there you go. Anyway, this is this is delicious. It's just not what I was expecting. Mm hmmm, well maybe you were expecting something like um oh why don't I offer you this, get the funk out of our town before we throw you out of this fucking town? What something like that? Or maybe it's a sweet teaper darling. Can I seat you in the back? Yeah, of course I appreciate that coming back. Okay, Hi, sure, hi, Darline. You know we love having you working here, work in the front. You're so good in from I'm a people person. It's wild to me that I would hear such disgusting language come out of your mouth, especially to one of our lovely, lovely patrons. Oh did you hear that? I heard that? I sure did, I sure did so hard. Yeah, shouldn't you have such a good hearing? I gotta say, you know, it's my job to keep everyone doing well at theirs, and we could use a little more niceness from you. Now you understand that he's well, he's not from here, right, Yeah, I do understand. See the thing about being in the South, which is now making me figure that maybe you've been a liar all the time, because if you were truly from the South, you know that whether we are auditioned out a compliment or this, it's going to sound exactly the same. And we're gonna say it with a smile. Baby. We sure you're oh yeah, and a liar who's from somewhere else, which you know could be true and I appreciate. Or you're a true Southerner who's going against going against your roots and messing up my your restaurant. Well, it certainly is one of those two. And I got some tables to get back to. And excuse me, miss miss you's got Hamburg's, It's got Hamburg's, Darling, this is my table. He's asking you a question. I moved to downtown uh, Charleston, you know, to get away from the uh, the COVID. You know you's never been to Pittsburgh. Now, thank you all for meeting me here in my home for some tea and conversation, just friends and family. I wanted to bring up a couple of issues that I've noticed, maybe you've noticed. It feels like there are some people who are mm hmmm staying here for too long. I'll put it that way. Anybody else here those same thoughts because I'm feeling I'm feeling I'm feeling I'm feeling evil. And maybe if I'm the only one feeling these thoughts, then then then I gotta work on myself. I mean I noticed it at the tire shop. I'm not gonna lie. I noticed that the tire shop. I was Uh, this family came in with with a car that, uh that was not that the license plate was not a South Carolina plate and uh this car. M I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this car was foreign, Like, where are we gonna get foreign tires for a car here? Anybody else? Okay, we're the only two are you talking about? Oh no, no, no, but it's no no. Minnesota is is is part of the part of this country. Uh well, we we do have ten thousand lakes, but uh blah, but no, no, I think that I think the tires of you God will work just fine. But but if I if I'm stepping in your way, then uh then uh oh you know, hey, feel free to send me on my way. Wow, you're real nice. Oh oh, I don't know about that. Oh you know, I'll tell you it's nice here in uh in Charleston. You know heard that it uh that you can't get COVID down here, so you know, just move the whole family down from St. Paul. You're messing with me. Because I heard Sugar over at the restaurant once. She once told me. She told me, she said, you know, and we all know down here in the South, if someone's being real nutsty, they could either really lock you or really hate you. You hate me? Is that what this is? That was just all about you come in here asking for some weird tires. Come here, you bet you bet you? No, no, I batman, No, no, no, no, we don't allow gambling down here. I want you out of my tire shot. No, no, this isn't this isn't passive aggressive no. Uh, we just love those tires. And then uh, I'll get on my way. Sugar. Can I ask you a question? Sure thing, Darlene. On my way home last night, did I did I see you and interrupt? What would you mind doing your roll ups while you asked me this question? Of course, happy to thank you so much, appreciate that. Did I see you walking out of the movie theater with a gentleman last night? I mean you might have if you were if you were if you were a sneaky if you were a sneaky snake, or just going off from my evening walk as I do. Is good for the hunt because I h yeah, sometimes Maverick. I saw Top Gun Maverick in imax. Oh yeah, I'll tell you. And Banga Main and we're lucky to get maybe two movies or summer and uh oh to see this, to see those planes up there on the screen was was impressive. It really was. It was it was. It was a highlight of it. I wish it was all plane action. I didn't need anything out of the plane. I just wanted it to be zoom zoom, zooming around wound up in there at that air Oh yeah, yeah, I'll tell you why. He just seemed like trouble, is all I'm saying. Well, Frankly, Frankly, Darlene, it's not a lot of your business, to be quite. Frank's who I'm meeting, who I decided to say yes to when they asked me to go see a movie in imax? Did he absolutely kill my neck? Wasn't necessary to see that movie? Imax? No, it wasn't. Did I have a good time with that gentleman? I kind of did. I kind of did it. At least you didn't kiss him or anything. Wow, if you're on a plat wide right here on on these two laps, I wasn't say no, Okay, well, yeah, I like that. I like you going. I like you going for a bit of a I have to give you consent. I have to make the move. I like that. I like that. Um well, I'll just lean I'll just lean right in and I'll give you, give you a big old peck. Did I tell you all the children in my time? Now, let me get this straight. You proposing that we add to our flag that is cobblestone and shrimp. You're saying that we add a New York Yankees emblem, a crab and and and all the types of things. Is that? Is that what I'm on standing? Mayn Well? I reckon. I think that it would be a pretty good idea to to be more inclusive and put more things on our flag make people feel at home, because homes where the heart is. Yeah, you should put a put a Promonti Brother sandwich on the flag because it's, uh, you know, you get fries and slaw in the sandwich. It's uh, it's real good. You know when I want you Distiller's game downtown. Uh, you know it's you know, what are those sandwiches? Breaking news? There's a new COVID hot spot in the country, Charleston, Charleston. Everybody, if you are in near or around Charleston, leave immediately on it. What they say on what they just say on the news there saying that we're a hot spot. Now, oh, a hot spot like a like a like a like a nice knight club that everybody wants to go to. I think the yuppies are coming. I think that might have been what the heads up was about. They're gonna gentrify. Oh, Lord of mercy, I've been waiting for. I hope it's not too startling. But I got hair dot pink, and I got some pearsons. Look at why'd you would you put all those staples in your face? Get over here, son, you're called Piersons. Oh oh my wood, good well, I don't know about this. I don't know if I can't do any son of mine having pink hair and ear rings and and lord knows after they I'm telling you, honey, I'm telling you it's because of the flag. It's what they did to the flag. Let him by, Yes, yes, oh my god, don't get mad at me. It's it's a newsboy cap. That's it. We are moving. We're gonna go I don't know. I hear Minnesota people are nice. Robert, come into my office. Listen. We hired you here at Channel four News because of your compelling delivery and you're impeccable addiction and non regional dialect. What we didn't hire you for is to deliver in such a lacks of daisical way. I think half of the town fell asleep. Robert. Now, if this is a personal issue, because I have to say this is not normal for you, this is a personal issue, need to take some time off, then please speak up. I would like some clarification as to the issue is your most recent Your delivery at this five o'clock news hour was so boring. I fell asleep. That was the issue. So I know our viewers are absolutely snoozing on this news and we had some hot sections in for today. You're are you okay? So hey, you do foosh ball tournament five minutes five, So you're saying I didn't deliver it with enough uh energy, enough enough enough. I need to say you were not the Robert Newcastle that we hired. You were not the Robert Newcastle because that Robert Newcastle is dead. Okay, hey, hey, you're Robert Newcastle. Right, you read the local news here in Charleston. I was, oh, forget about it. What happened? Someone broke my heart? Oh that's awful. Yeah, oh yeah yeah yeah. Me me and my friend here were you know, we're both recent transplants here to Charleston. We watch you every night at six o'clock. Oh yeah, it's uh. You's watched the news too. Yeah. These guys the best here. It's those at sometimes the weather. I gotta say it is a pleasure to me, all of you. This is this is what this old news ancher needed today, is just to mix it up and and you know, be out here with the people, all different types of people. Huh yeah, bro, it's uh certainly beats spin in California at the height of this COVID Right you said it. He certainly did. And that is scene too. Seen three is from patron and comaniac Nicholas mark Our, who made one of the last shows who wrote Seen Criminal uses cameo to send out blackmail messages, but only B and C tier celebrities as he has to save money, let the budget impress and flow playball. Nick Baby, I'll tell you I got a cameo. I actually requested a cameo and paid for it and it should be coming in today or tomorrow. I'm very, very excited. I don't really want to tell you who it's from, but it's a surprise for Tommy's birthday. Oh my gosh, that's so sweet. He's going to be so excited if it's a celebrity that he knows and loves. Oh my gosh, that's so that's such a great gift. And thank you this year for for thinking of one. I know he was really disappointed when you didn't get him anything last year. So well, you know, he's technically not my son, but I want to raise him. I want to help raise him. You know, I completely understand that you didn't. You know, genetically did nothing to bring this child into the earth, but you have been rearing him for the past seven years. And you know to me when when you express it to me like it's hurtful, but I can take it. It's it's the frequency which you express not being his father to him that I think you don't think that's something he needs to know and know. Well, I think it's crushing his spirit, Huh, I don't. I don't think we should. Yeah, Hey, buddy, what Uh yeah, so thanks for uh for joining us. We just had something real quick to run by you. This this business of me not being your biological father, uh and him actually being incarcerated. I was curious, Uh I mentioning that too often? Am I mentioning it? Not often enough? What is your takeaway on this information? Well, I guess I haven't really thought about it. But in the morning, you go breakfast, breakfast, not my real son. Your dad's in jail, so like that's how we start the day typically, and then jip school, you go, hey, have a good day. I'm not your father because your father made some poor choices and now you ain't got time to start school. Yeah, you ain't gonna see him. And then the last thing you say to me before I go to bed is usually like, I love you, but not as much as your real father. But how much love can he show you if he's away? So I don't know, it feels like a like about the right amount? Mom? What are you balanced? Right, morning, noon and night feeling good? I find it to be absolutely dampening of the of the spirit. It's I find it to be unnecessary. You know, you know that he's not your biological father and pointing out you know what would fix things. I think it would be like a really cool birthday present. Since my birthday is tomorrow. It's funny you should say that I wasn't connecting the two, but if we need to, maybe this is a way for me to begin the process of this transition for me from being Captain Information to your loving thought. Sounds good at me? Mom? What do you think? I I loved every word that just came out of your mouth. Finally, all right, let's say goodbye to Captain Information. He's dead. He's not incarcerated, he's just dead. Yep, he's in life jail. He is incarcerated in hell. Wow. Yeah, like so many. Uh, this new version of me is going to be loving and supportive, and I've got an incredible gift for you tomorrow. I can't wait for you to see it. I'm so sorry. I can wait for you to see it either. Tommy, why don't you go ahead and go back to hanging out with Tommy your friend? Hey, you want to hang out with kids? His own name? Is that what you're gonna have? No? I was going to say, I don't really want to harp on the whole hell thing. That's not really something that we've ever really taught him in this family. I don't want to now. I feel like it's all over the entertainment world. Things he watches, stuff he studies in school, possibly even without being religious in anyway. You know for sure he knows what it is and you know absolutely, But to say that so many people are lost in the jail of hell is I just think sets someone up in a really uh Mr McGrath, Mr Mark Mark, Yeah, yeah, hey here, I just want to let you know a couple of things to do today. Yeah, what's on the list? Bro, let's do it. Let's go. You're playing tennis at noon, love tennis, rock and roll, rock and roll. Um, You're having a tattoo removes at two foot Yeah yeah, that one was a mistake, big mistake. Big mistake. Can roll by end of the day. You have you have a cameo you need to go. Oh, I forgot you know what, Let's just knock the cameo out now. You want to do that first? Yeah? Yeah, okay, all right, So here's the information here. It's for a birthday boy named Tommy. All right, Tommy the birthday boy. Yeahah, Warden, Warden, let me use your phone. I gotta get a I gotta get a cameo for my kid. You know, come on, Warden. You know I've been on good behavior. Alright, alright, all right, Ah, you should have enough in jail house funds to uh to pay for them. Some of them are pretty expensive, you know. I I got Tanya Harding from my uh from my niece's UH bought mitzvah and uh and that was price here that I expected. It was about for a personalized green eating from Tanya Harding. Oh, non personalized. But who are you thinking? Who are you thinking? I'm thinking, Tim McGrath, Tim McGrath, I think that's but I guess I'll have to change it because that's not gonna work. Tim McGrath, Is there something similar that maybe you see in my price range? It's been so long i've been in here. Tim McGrath is out of your price range. Absolutely. Tim McGraw's out of your price range. Mark McGrath also out of your price range. But Tim McGrath, it says, um, hey um, Mr McGrath, Um. Sorry, sorry to interrupt you during lunch. It's just it makes me. Dave, your assistant, Um, you, I can't believe I'm saving this you you got a request for a cameo? Stoping. No, I'm serious, Tim, you gotta request I'm sorry, Mr McGrath, you gotta request for a cameo right right. I'm trying to even remember how this works because it's been a while since we started, and we signed up because you thought that was a good idea. Yeah, look, you're your fame adjacent. It's what works, like everybody's gonna everybody's It's like when when somebody goes to the store and buys a copy of trans Morphers instead of Transformers. You know what I mean. But I knew this day would come. I knew this day would come. You were right, congratulations. I told you you need assistant. I told you needed an assistant. That's the other thing. An intern as an assistant made a lot of sense initially because I wasn't paying you six months. I am paying you, granted it's a hundred dollars a week, but I still feel like it's something. So look, Dave, it's me, Um Dustin timber wake, Um. I don't think I need an assistant anymore, dude. I'm just I'm a mechanic, and I feel like it's not paying off the way you But where am I gonna go? I just you were so enthusiastic about the idea of being famous adjacent, and I bought in. But nobody wants to hear from Dustin timber Wake unless you know on drum up. Some Susan Saran Rap said the same thing, and she kicked me out. I don't want to let you go. I just can't afford you. And Dave Growl said the same thing, and he kicked me out. Elvis Priestly said the same thing, and he kicked me out. Where am I gonna go? Fuck? Um, Look, you can crash my place. I just don't need an assistant anymore, or ever, I never did. I've worked. I'm a mechanic with a weird name with a weird name. Hey, thanks for coming by. How did you hear about the I was looking for a new assistant. Did you see it when I posted it online? Or I I just looked out. I was looking through the phone book for for names that seemed fame adjacent, right, and came across Kevin Pollock. Yeah, I came across Kevin Pollock, and I thought Kevin Pollock is fame adjacent. He slipped his way to the middle. That's exactly right. Thank you, Thank you for remembering a real fan. Um so, what on the terms you're looking for and I'll tell you if it works from me, Well, I the last job. I would like a little race from when I got last time. Um, I was making a hundred dollars a week working for Tim McGrath. But but I would like about a hundred and twenty dollars a week and the and the option to just at any point in time ask you what people are like. Okay, when you when you say Tim McGrath, do you mean Mark McGrath McGrath nope. Wow, it's my birthday. Um okay, whoa I got? I got to two digital presents, once from you, dad and the others from my dad. Mom. Yeah, because I caught you these two polo shirts. Okay, well, the shirts are great. I'll open my my first digital one from you from you dad, from you my house Dad. Let's see what's going on here? Oh my gosh, yes I play. Okay, Hey Tommy, it's me Mark McGrath. Yeah, sugar Ray, but not the boxer. What. Yeah? Hey, your stepdad just wanted you to know that you're not his real son. I have a birthday. Oh my gosh, that was the best. That is the best, all right before before, thank you the way before we've wrapped this up, and I want to I guess I gotta open the one from my for my jail dad, right yeah, sure, yeah right, honey. Let's see not that we're comparing and he sent you something, so yeahould enjoy that. Let's see he's acknowledging he's your biological father. I think that's great too. I'm gonna press play on this guy. Hey there, kiddoh, it's me Elvis Priestly. H that's right. I can identify with having difficulties with your dad because my father is not a two who was Jason Priestley. However, I am and Elvis impersonator. Thank you very much. Wow. Wow, So your dad got one that didn't actually say happy birthday. That's interesting, But tell you one that had a lot of heart it did, Yeah, yes, I did, yes, yeah yeah, mom. And I got you these two polo shirts. Mom, I actually got you a cameo. Oh oh my gosh. That's so exciting, just because I hope it's from my favorite actor, John Travolta, HU close first play mom, Okay, okay Kevin's recording. UM, Hey, Hi, it's me Kevin Pollock, and I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. And if it's not your birthday, I hope you're celebrating today because it's the first day of the rest of your life and I was thrilled to be a part of it. How was that? Was that? Okay? I mean, what do you think this is? Thank you? I can't even believe I deserved this from the dad from uh planner? That's incredible? Is that? No? Is that who he is? Woman's dad dad. He's riding the horse, he simpkins. It's the warden. I know you've been in solitary for the week. Worth it? Thank you? Can't get out? No, no, we're gonna keep you in solitary for Come on, I did, I did my time in solitary. I just want to let you know that we did get your kid. That that greeting from Elvis Priestly huh yeah, he was only twenty five bucks for for ten hours. Yeah, and uh he said he's he's out front. He says, when you get out he's here to pick you up. Oh my gosh. He doesn't realize that I'm just getting out of solitary back into regular You got you got ten year is left in your sentence. Yeah, I guess I might have misled him when I said as getting now, yeah, can you break it to Mr Priestley? Can I? I mean, I can't case. I'm still going to do some more time here in in salitaire. But I guess the word is that your your kid, like the things like the cameo that was really nice mom, because it's okay. He's also the dad in the movie where the Girl because she was like, yeah, okay, okay, that's a classic and everybody loves it. Yeah, but you're saying he was the dad in in the Wedding Planner. He's friends dad and the wedding planner Wedding Planner, Yeah, which is oddly you know, obviously a huge fan. But there's no connection between him and John Trabold. I don't think. Well, he wasn't a documentary surprised easingly a documentary that included John Trivolta. No, it was. It was I was really shocked to see him because it was a clip of something he had done that was in another documentary. What was the documentary about? What was? Hold on? Mom? This is important. This is worth just sitting through everything because it was it was a documentary about a subject. Oh, I know, the price is right, The price is right, Mom, there's a documentary about a guy who quote unquote cheated on the prices. Right. Wow, Well listen, Tommy. This is the great thing about cameos and about celebrities. Everyone has their own personal connection to them, and they have no personal connections to those people. You know, it's like everyone had it with them. It's very one side, but they you know, we hold whatever we hold due to our hearts about them, Um, like you must have felt about um. Rock McGrath. You know you loved, you loved. This is a great birthday and I think you made a the right choice falling in love with my stepdad. Ma'am. Are you sure he's not gonna notice me crossing out this extra l to make it a polo shirt? Because these are shirts that is our shot boom made of chicken. Oh, thank you also damn much. Um. A special thanks to to Mark Gagliardi and Jackie Gonzals Ruthy for joining us as guests alchemists on so many many episodes over the last few years. I've been a pleasure. Talent and and willingness have met the world to us, and I think I speak for the other founding members and and thank you for being as great as you are. And it's uh, you know, full of the sort of joy that I was hoping the show would bring to other people, and you're both perfect examples of that. Thank you, thank you. It has been a treat, what a blast, what a what a great time, and wonderfully to be a part of Yeah. And again, so long for now I'll never see Yeah, because I'm coming to never see anyone here again. Jackie, I'm gonna be at your place for dinner tonight. I don't know if it's please, let yes, yes? And for breakfast right yep, great, We're gonna biscuits your gravy uh uh. And Chris Alvarado, thank you so damn much. Hey, thank you, and Jackie and Mark. It's been so fun to be like so or by your both your talents, but also just personally like how lucky we uh We've all been to become become closer as friends and not just not just performers, Like I'm so stoked that, like now I really consider both of you like two of my good friends. Uh So I just want to say that, and I love you guys hey man, brother, love you back. James. You want to add to that, you know, multi uh times times ten times. It's been a hell of a blast. It's uh being able to get together the new guests when we started bringing guests in brought a lot of life into the show. It was really fun and I don't know what the hell I would have done through COVID and through the lockdown if it wasn't for the times to be able to get together and laugh on soon with you guys. So thank you Greg. Yeah, Mark and Jackie are great. But I do want to talk about the uh the term Jerry rigged, which he's been boiling this whole time for it. I think we might have actually covered it on the show before, because yeah, because Jerry rigged is a conflation of two previous terms, jury rigged and Jerry built. Jury rigged referring to an improvised sale, so that means something you've kind of thrown together on the fly. Jerry built is something that's built shodily and they all pre date referring to the Germans as as Jerry's. Oh now I feel like a racist, and I apologize all of Germany. You can always be racist to Germans. Uh. But yeah, it's I'm only doing this because it's so tough to say goodbye to Mark and Jackie, who I will never see again. I know it's weird, will never ever see you again. Uh. Thanks also to our engineering producer or to the stars, Mr doug Bane. Fine folks that I hurt media who have given us a home. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock, thanking each and every one of you so very very much. I hope to see you again and soon, if not sooner, check your mail and until next time,