Adulting with Michelle Buteau and Jordan CarlosI Don’t Like My BFF’s Bae, Is It Possible to Get Along? feat. Dylan Marron
Live from Brooklyn’s Bell House, Michelle and Jordan welcome Ted Lasso writer, actor, and podcast host of Conversations with People Who Hate Me, Dylan Marron. Jordan reflects on his adulting journey from BC (before Costco) to his present 40s form (doomsday pantry as the new stunting and flossing), Michelle shows her earliest receipts for preparedness when she details her intense, age 5 morning routine, and Dylan, married for 8 years now(!!!), explains why productive fights are essential to maintaining a healthy relationship.
Hey, everybody, welcome to adulting. You know what the fuck it is.
I'm just I'm just kidding, and I'm so sorry, am I. I was just kind of living my best top titty, freckled face, bloated Tommy DMX life if you will. I'm Michel Vytee and I'm with my friend Jordan Carlos and this is our podcast and.
I'm doing fine. Jordan, are you there?
Jordan?
Can you hear me?
I don't know how are you good? To see you friend? Thank you so much. I know you're in California right now.
Yeah, I'm in California right now. I'm working here. I can't wait to leave.
Hiaw. I've never seen so many avocados.
Oh, and botox and fly booties and white jeans. I feel like DMX because everyone's just like, why are you yelling?
I'm like, I'm not. This is just this is how I sound.
Yeah.
I come out to LA and I do feel like NSNL sketch because everyone's like, uh huh, They're just like amused and like everyone's very long winded. I'm like, can you get to the point because there's a subway coming.
Oh, there's no subway Harvey.
Ah, does everyone have vocal there or what?
Everyone is very nice here, but they all like speak in email terms. They're like, I'll circle back, let's get it together, you know what I mean? And I'm like, you know me, I want to make a shepherd's pie and fucking like Walt's work.
Yeah, please make a shepherd's pie. You know. Yeah?
I love Yeah, I love corporate talk.
It makes me so happy.
Corporate tart is so much better.
My brain shuts down when I get excited. I love to have to drain blood from one part of my brain.
That what in the Nurse Jackie is going on? Stop it?
I was on Nurse Jackie? Is that what you're talking about?
No, oh my god, you were on Nurse I.
Was in the r I was run over by like a I don't know.
I was hit by a truck and so when the show aired, I could not watch myself. By the way, you can ask my wife all about this.
Who Ever was booking Showtime shows definitely put Jordan on because you were also in the affair.
I was in the affair. I was that was me.
Did you get punched out by Dominic West?
I did get punched out for real? For real by Dominic West. Actually I think I told you this. He was like, all right, Mike, just la get ready for it. And I was like, okay, you're watching on your left hand, so I can expect a right handed punch. And he's like, he didn't like that. I knew that he'd probably throw a haymaker from the right side. Yeah, and so he tagged me with his left hand. Let the record that he hit me with his left And I was happy with myself because I was like, I took a punch straight up to the chin, and I was like, I'm fine.
You know. It was like wait a minute.
But they just took the one take or was it multiple takes?
Oh, it was one take. The director was like, we got it.
It was thank.
God, that's so fucked up. Yeah, Dominic was more like Dominic you went south.
Dominic is wild.
I mean, the man was on the wire, you know, he's seen it all and then and then suddenly he's king Charles, what's going on?
All right?
So he's throwing a lot of punches, you know what I'm saying, Like, oh wow, So he yeah, he hit me. But I was like I'm okay, I'm fine. I'm fine, he didn't hurt me, Oh my god.
And not me.
That was it, dude.
I'm so impressed because I've seen motherfuckers like do way more over like a paper cut, and I'm like, what like when I see men freak out over a paper cut, and I'm like, I thought I was gonna drop my uterus today, but please tell me about your paper cut. So thank you so much for taking that like a champ. But also fuck him. Can we get him on the show anyways? You know what, we have another beautiful person with the d name, but he's not a dick. I'm so excited that he's on the show. He's just got beautiful energy. He's so cool. Yes, he's written for ted Lasso.
He's got his own book in which he like explored talking to people that do not like him.
Don't give too much away, yeah, won't do it.
Don't tell the kids what you got for Christmas.
You're right, you're right.
Give him a present holding the cards to vest but please get ready for Dylan Maren.
I did I want to make everybody feel comfortable. That was crazy. Oh my god, what a night y'all.
Oh my, look at these little doll faces make some noise. If you have an office job, make some noise. If you like your office job, wow, make some noise. If you work for yourself, yes, I mean everyone sounds tired.
Everyone sounds tired. The people they've been standing, it's insane. Your knees must be killing you. Thank you so much.
I mean, are these two seats taken?
There's a seat over here.
If somebody's knees is really buckling, don't be a hero.
This is this is We're just this is a wellness check for people's knees.
You don't have to prove anything.
When you're in your upper thirties, it's hard and you're just like, oh, what is that pain in the back?
You went to a club, waited in line? I know if you're going to get in?
Uh No, that was that was Bloomberg was Mayor. That was the last time I went to a club.
I mean, these we're smoking inside now to the last club.
But the last club I went to was Costco. Okay, that's that's basically it.
Very exclusive club, very exclusive, very exclusive club.
Got great panties, high waist thongs by.
Kirkland Kirkland brand.
Baby, I don't even know. I love Costco Costco is my ship I got.
I was. I used to live here in Gouanas And.
Could you stop saying everything like you just met it?
I can't. I used to live in Guanas, I did. I was cool. And then I had another baby. I was.
There was a point I wore five use and uh but there was a point. See y'all don't know about that ship. And there was a point when when I had two kids where I had to get Costco. And now instead of like stump Town, small batch, fair trade, you know, like horse Hurrah, I get.
I literally get Kirkland three pounds. I get a three pound jar of fucking I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do this. What's what's the matter with that?
You know?
I just I don't know who you are? I thought I did. I'm just I think you're lost.
I am. It's true, it's true.
But now now when I stunt and now when I flyss, it's about having the most food.
It used to be about having fly kicks and nice clothes.
Now it's like, but now your pantry looks like the bunker, Yes, yeah, the doomsday room.
Yeah.
Oh I love it.
I love it.
It makes me so happy when you're over forty. This is what it waits you. That's literally it wait.
I will say, there's no better feeling than being prepared.
But I was always like that.
Like my mom told me when I was five, I would set my alarm and set my clothes out the night before Jesus and make my own breakfast. And I didn't like her cereals milk ratio.
So I did you have a little briefcase that you took to school as well?
I actually did have a briefcase that my dad didn't use.
It was like a lot.
Those were so fucking cool. I used to wear my dad's ties to school. I was the only child. Did I mention that too? Okay, nobody was telling me not to do that, so I just did it.
Did you look like a worried little ceo like on Yeah, I.
Look like Raven Simone?
Oh no, like you wrote that paper. You used to write a paper for your block too, write Oh my god, how fucking dare you? I wrote a paper.
It was called Head over Heels, a little magazine for the cul de sac I lived in, And I drew a fucking picture of a severed head in a shoe and then all the neighbors asked my parents to ask me to stop put a ship there, a mere box, and it was just like a recap of what happened on the block.
I'm like, so and So's dog pooped. There was no owl like it was.
I was.
I was community organizing from one. It's what, okay, I mean, the most embarrassing ship.
You did when you were little, the most embarrassing thing I did when I was little. Yeah, oh my, I he my pants in a soccer game and there's a there's a picture of it because we won the championship. And then my mom was like, you're just sweating out the front, baby, don't worry about it.
And I was like, it's sweat. It's sweat.
It's like a sweat stain right down there.
You asked, didn't she ask me? She asked a question, Well, I know what down there was.
You didn't have to.
Touch it in case you were lost?
Yeah I was.
I wasn't like Australia down. Oh my god, let's bring our next guest. I can't hear about your pists anymore.
And I hate.
Schatological humor, all right, So you guys, uh, this individual so amazing, not only a writer for ted Lasso season three, saying yes, an accomplished writer as well, also a podcast host, podcast host, please give.
It up for Dylan mayor get over here, perfect.
Role of the jeans. Thank you, I did it over there. I know skinny jeans are out, guys.
That's right, it's over.
Yeah, Oh god. There was a sad like yeah, god.
Wait, can I just break down?
The first time we met through Francesca Ramsay, who's fucking hilarious and beautiful.
Follow her talk about organizing.
She loves to put together fucking things to do and I'm like, I just want to sit and drink and eat and she's like, no, A group of us are going to soul cycle. And that's where I met you on a bike. It was almost like the bike was a key of furniture. You're like, what the fuck is that.
You're down playing it? Michelle saved my life, Like I I thought I could do it because I like ran three miles on the tree a mill, like that's all I did. I can't express to you like I truly think I was like seconds away from a heart attack because I didn't know how to change the resistance now and have we been to soul Cycle or like Soul Cycle adjacent peloton? Yeah, they're I mean, they're yelling at you and all I had the only thing tethering me to this earthly plane was Michelle Mutteaux. So it was amazing.
It felt like I was.
In church again, and I had to let somebody know what like song we were on?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, we already did that him go to the dexor.
Yeah.
I was like a church you'd never been to before?
You what we was a church?
It was a church, and I was terrified and I had I have to say, there's a coda to this story, which is now I'm a real cycler. So I I just spin classes left and right.
Thanks to you. So I'll type that shit. That's so cool. I'll take it. Do you have a you have a pelotone?
I do, and I apologize in advance for that, but I too.
Okay you do.
Can we talk about can we talk about your podcast, your tech talk, what you do, why you do it?
Yeah, let's talk about it.
Okay.
Yeah, do you want me to just go? Yeah? I want you to go.
Okay, tell everybody going are on what you do because it's fascinating.
My name is Dylan Maren and so the podcast I think you're referring to is a podcast I started like seven years ago called Conversations with People Who Hate Me Yes and yeah Yeah. So it started because I was like in twenty fifteen twenty sixteen, I was making a lot of videos online, videos from my political perspective, which is to say, perive. I was also a queer person on the internet, and my videos were like blowing up, and so too was the hate in my inbox. And I don't get me wrong, I did all the normal things. I screenshotted them. I made fun of the typos there there, you know, like wrong there, and that felt good temporarily. But then I was like, oh, this might kind of like be an opportunity. So I had like truly hundreds of pieces of hate screenshotted in something on my desktop that I called the Hate Folder, and I started having in depth conversations with some of the people in the hate folder, and that took me in a whole new direction in life, and I ended up working on that project for five years.
What was your like easiest conversation?
There's so many takes, Like, there's probably so many takeaways, but the highlights.
Yeah, the highlights. I mean, the first person I ever talked to that made me feel that I could do it was a teenager who chose to go by the name Josh. He was a senior in high school when he wrote me what we can call a homophobic message, and he was like shockingly open and vulnerable and sweet and willing to kind of like reconsider what he had written to me. And it was the success of that conversation that allowed me to like launch on this journey. But that I mean I got hung up on and uh yeah, and a lot of like uh no one really yelled at me because we didn't really get to that point. There's like a heavy filtration process, you know, like you have to like want to go on a recorded podcast, you have to be you consenting adult or you're if you're not an adult, your parent has to sign off on it, which is like has happened? I mean, God, Like the real stories come from like the people who I reached out to who like didn't want to do it, Like I got blocked by so many people. Uh, someone recorded, I believe she recorded my preliminary conversation that I had with her. As I was like explaining to her what this project was, and uh, I think she put it online if I'm remembering correctly, so it's like, also all you really was poken. Yeah, And I think what I realized is like for five years, I was like so immersed in this and I was like, whoa, this is all I.
Know how much. It's a lot.
It's a lot, but it's not a lot for the reasons you might think, Like for me, it didn't feel a lot because I was like speaking to people who I disagreed with, because that's only a portion of the episodes. You know. I'm also like super interested in people who are like down the ticket identical politically, but then like scorch each other online. And yeah, I think I just like I felt like I was like living my entire life online to produce this show. Yeah, and it felt I kind of looked up and realized I was like so isolated. It felt so like lonely to make this show. And yeah, so then I wrote a book about it and that was kind of a capstone on it.
I love that. And then you got married after.
I got married before I've been married for eight years, are you Yeah, I know it's sick, it's disgusting. Yeah, illegalize gay marriage. That's what I'm here to say.
Yeah, okay, what's your secret? How do you keep it going? Tell us everything?
Yeah, it's like it's a secret.
They're here for the they're here for the knowledge. This is knowledge college.
The secret is like, so yeah, this is knowledge college. Uh, the secret is so boring. It's that like he's the best thing that ever happened to me and I Yeah, Todd.
I'm just kidding.
Yeah, oh okay, I was like what Yeah, I was like he could be here. Yeah, he didn't tell me he was coming. Our first fight and that's healthy. Never fight, that's good.
No.
Actually, like truly, the moment I knew that we could be together for the long term is that when I learned that we could fight productively. You know, like we like early on, we would kind of like establish these patterns and we all know like if you're in any relationship with another human being, friendship, whatever, it's like you know that like specific brand of you get into with someone.
Yeah you know, yes, oh my god.
He he wants to fix it right away, like find a solution, and I'm like, it's not about fixing it.
It's just about hearing me.
Out, okay, that that is between us and our therapists. And you don't have to say that in front of Dylan, if you just say, yeah, I know what that's about, but yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Situations, it's really it's really awkward to fight with your friends or to get into and you don't want to the older you get too, because you realize you just like less motherfuckers, like yes, I remember, you know what I mean, Like I don't really and and that's the thing. It's like, yeah, I'm busy, but also.
I'll fuck with you.
You don't like, Yes, it don't feel nice, It don't feel good. You're always sad, you don't. It's the same conversation for six years. It's like, no, thank you.
I try to approach every conflict with the thought that like, it's my fault and and that way we can remedy the situation because I'm the problem. And uh that's usually I mean.
That's way, that's how you feel. But it comes across.
Again.
I told you to wait till we've.
Learned how to have a conversation, a difficult conversation, which is nice and don and I he came on my tour with me, and I think it was fifteen cities. It was a lot of cities, And at the and the beginning of it, I was just like, don I hope we're still friends at the end of this, because you never fucking know. And thank god it's still it's still strong, strong, yeah, because we're you know, we're Yeah. It's like thinking outside of yourself for two seconds, but also not being a pushover.
It's just like it's just a balance.
When people talk about balance like work life, that's not really the balance. It's just like, you know, you have to work, you but like the balance really is like how much you're gonna give yourself to somebody else, whether it be a partner of friends.
How do you fight productively? How does one are you guys taking notes?
I think like, well, there's always like the initial like feeling of anger and then the stewing in it. But I think that like what is most helpful is like if you can like quickly step outside of yourselves in the situation to be like, what happened here, Let's pretend we're not the people who got in this fight, and let's pretend we're onlookers to this fight, like what just happened?
And I was the.
Most That's the most mature ship I've ever heard.
Oh I.
We fought Dylan, You'd just be like time out, Time the fuck out.
What if we weren't the people we are right now?
Yeah, I know you love Star Wars, and I think that's the most Jedi mind ship I have I've ever heard in my fucking life. To say these aren't the droids you're looking for is the pimpest shit I've ever heard.
And I love that. He's a You're a big Star Wars fanatics.
So I'm I know why you're saying this. Yes, but I don't like Star Wars. Yeah, no, I I like Star Wars in the way that like we legally have to like Star Wars.
Do you know what I mean?
Like we are like assaulted with Star Wars every day of our lives. And You're like, I am a I want to be aware of pop culture. So I've like seen every movie twice, got but I have Star Wars stands in my life, and so I'm like, it's like if you ask me like my in the Beehive, it's like I own every album and I worship her, but I'm comparing myself to Beyonce's stands and I'm like, I'm honored to be in the mix, you know what I mean? Like I cannot compare myself to these icons.
I understand, Okay, getting away from my joke, I just want to ask, Like, so at the end of this, in this very mature thing that you do this move where you're like, let's step outside ourselves. Let's see ourselves for who the fuck we could be. But we're not these people, So like, how does that play out? Does it go well? Like, I mean it's working. You've been here with your person eight years.
To be clear, we never saved those words for Beato, which it would be amazing if we did. Like, it gets messy and we get it.
We go into our respective people like don't got a bit angry.
I'm like I need my sleep, Yeah I'm not.
Yeah, Like we're married forever forever, yeah, like longer than tonight.
So let you you can go to bed angry, Yeah.
Angry, I'll go about angry, I'll fuck angry, I'll cook angry.
Yeah, you can do it all.
Yeah, we do a lot of things.
Act I'm very like proactive yeah, how.
Do you angry? Proactive angry?
I think I think waiting the other person out, like starving them out for the apologies kind of.
Wow, Raymond, season finale, are your warfare?
Weight you out? You have no idea? We will? I'm in all respect, I feel like I can.
And it's a war of attrition. Sometimes sometimes it's a war of attrition. And Dylan, you probably don't feel that way because look at the hope.
In your eyes. No, but it's totally fine. It's totally fine. It's only fine. I want to ask you this.
So you made a pivot then from like working in a kind of a negative, lonely space goddamn stop it, to then working on ted Lasso, which is very uplifting and positive. Like, what was that like? Working like getting along with people? Like you went from talking to people that definitely do not like you to getting along with people.
Yeah, that was It was lovely to like work around people and not alone on the internet. That opportunity actually came from conversation people who hate me. Wow, Jasons, uh you can hear yeah, I'll use two names. He DMed me in the summer of twenty eighteen, and I was like, Okay, wow, okay, I want to say, but yes, so he DMed all of us. Really, when you think about it, maybe maybe it's in my requests. Maybe it's it's going to lay in your requests. So I he DMed me in the summer of twenty eighteen, and he had very nice things to say about Conversations with People Who Hate Me. But I also, you get a d M with the name Jason Sudeikis in it, You're like, that's a catfish, Like, this is not the real person. No, this is Facebook.
Facebook.
It is Facebook. What do we call the non public Facebook? Was it your the Vintage? No, it wasn't my birthday One's book gen one Facebook, Facebook, the Facebook Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook, and he DM me and I was like, I had like seventy percent chance this is a catfish. And I was like, at the same time, I'm producing a show called Conversations with People who Hate Me, which is about Internet culture, and I was like, I will continue this conversation. Maybe this is an amazing episode, right, it'll be called Jason sudeikas in quotes, And I was like, I'll engage him. But he was also saying some really nice things really complimentary things. I'm an only child, I need that and so yes, and so I was like okay, and then it got to the point where he was like, well, listen, I'd love to take you out to lunch. He was like, here's my number. And I was like, my kidneys are about to be harvested, do.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm about someone's gonna take my social Security And so he gave me his number. My agent was a producer on Saturday Night Live. And I was like, I'm not asking you to give me Jason Sudekus's number, but I'm going to give you this number and you tell me if it matches up. And it matched up, and uh.
And then you guys matched up, and then we matched.
Up and we're dating my husband Jason. Come on, Jason, he's.
Too.
It's like when people, like when people, especially creatives, when we have a job, or like we're at a job and we don't like like it or know what it is, or we're like it's important, but how lung should I stay?
You never know where that ship might lead. Yeah, I've had some shitty ass.
Jobs, like whether it's like retail for like you know, hope clothes in the wall. It was Cherry Hill, it was pike a bridge. It was a lot of things happening. But also I worked at this place where the kids bouncing the balls and ship oh yeah, and then the kids like the parents would leave them and the kids would peel all over the balls.
Oh.
And what I learned was I don't want to work there.
Yeah, and to be nice to people you know that work in those places.
Yeah. We answer questions from the audience. I love questions about adulting. Are you ready for it? Honey, I'm ready all right?
Bo Yeah, how often do I really need to change my sheets?
If you're asking, do it tonight? Do it tonight? Do it tonight? Do that ship every week? Every week? You grin Emi the fucker.
Yeah, sometimes twice a week.
If you're twice a week week.
What you're doing in the bed, it depends on what happens in the what happened in the bed.
It's a hotel, Yeah, I'm a hotel. Twice a week is great.
It's giving outside clothes on the bed, that's what it's giving.
Yeah.
Don is a Don is a very like you know, together together human being. So so I would see a twice a week kind of thing for him.
You know you.
I'm sorry, I'm hung up on this. You you wash them twice a week.
I'm a once a week person. I said, sometimes twice a week, depending on what happened. What did we understand? We don't know what you do. We do some sex mathematics, Yeah, like sex math yea yeah, yeah, okay, that makes more sense.
But once once a.
Week is absolutely That's the next question. I have so many questions because I'm trying to find a good one.
All right, So how do I decide if I should try to get pregnant slash have a child? Oh shit, okay, I'm forty three years years old. I'm forty three queer, it says, and now or never. Don't want to invite a being into the world that will suffer.
Yeah, this is this is a lot for me because I did IVY, so I have a benign brain tumor that makes my body think it's pregnant. So I couldn't get pregnant on my own. I'm a science fucking project. And you know what, that shit is not covered by insurance. Being a woman is not covered by insurance, And so I am really lucky that it happened to me at a time where I had to pay out of pocket, but it was legal. Now the shit happening in Alabama and the Pope talk on his shit. Meanwhile, they got all the money to support fucking pedophiles and keep them under cover and shit. But women that want to have families or like any type of alternative family planning, queer families, cancer survivors, you know, we're trying to get our families, and they want to like say it embryo as a child and all is bullshit to stop us because we are not allowed to, like you were saying last night, have agency over our body because they want to fucking control us. You want to have a baby, you don't know if you want to have a baby, fucking free your eggs and do it now, because I don't know what's gonna happen in this country. None of us do. And that's fucked up and that's the real real. So if you see your eyes on somebody else's face, fucking lock it down, bitch.
What's the next question.
I'm not fucking around now.
Okay, I'm not trying to pivot. I'm not trying to pivot. But who styled you for Survival of the Thickets. Oh oh, oh my god, what a good question.
She is this amazing black silence name Kia Bounds. She also does Black Mafia Family. She does a ton of shit. She was a designer for everything that I'm writing my character to be.
She did.
I really wanted to hire women of color, particularly black women, because anytime I'm going through something or I'm trying to express something, it's like it really is like fucking family on set, and we all get it. And so you know, when you want to be your best, like, be sure that you are around people that also want to not only help you be your best, but also they come wanting to win too. So Kia Bounds and I call her Kiya nos No Bounds because that she's amazing. Okay, she's gonna be on for season two. And I said, more biscuits, more biscuits, yes, more like plus size lingerie.
To wait, because why are you looking at me? Why saying it?
Because my character is gonna be having a lot of sex this season, lights on, lights on, lights on. She does not gonna be fucking, uh huh, just fucking and sucking.
Huh, got it? Get off of me, all right? All right, this is for everybody.
I feel like, yeah, we're all here together.
Okay, this next question, any advice for getting along with the boyfriend of my BFF who I don't get along with?
Or life two is love blind? Blind? Three?
No, you got pick one too much? How is it you know you're ready to move in with someone? They asked a triple headed Well you need a therapist. That's a lie that I think who's in a network? It was really at a cross roads. That's too much small card. Yeah that's the lie. This is a little bucket we got. Okay, I getting along with the BFF, Well, yeah.
That's the one that like hits home for me.
A boyfriend of my bff.
Yeah, boyfriend of BFF. I like we can all be adults and like we're not gonna like everyone you know.
You knows this is being recorded, right. Good?
At last, the mask comes off and I tear in first name, last name, social blood type. I don't know my blood type. We'll get to that later. That is, does everyone know their blood type?
Yeah?
Yeah, you need Oh god, I was sure there were gonna be a lot of people like no, it's okay, but wow, okay, shame that works I will go draw blood right after this. I so yeah, I think this is like the reality of like friendship that you're not gonna like who everyone chooses, and you also don't you're not dating them, do you know what I mean? Like you can put up the wall and you don't have to engage with them, and I don't think you have to be their best friend.
It's it's kind of like a game of like you know that, what's that game on?
Let's make a deal? Is it Plinko? Where it's like you never know because people are are you guys? Have you ever watched TV? But like you just never know where it's going to end up. You don't know who your best friend is going to like pair with, you know, like I try to.
Bring everybody together, but then I end up talking shit about them.
Right And it's like, which is also very fun.
You can't ever say you can't ever say I don't like this person, They're not right for you.
I feel like just in the wouldn't say it to your face, but you remember those moments, yeah, you remember them.
I also like the line I draw is like if I feel that there's like something not good is about to happen. And I even mean like they're emotionally unsafe, do you know what I mean? Like that's when I would be okay, being like let me talk to you for a second, you know, But otherwise I'm like, you are two consenting adults, go with God.
You know.
Also the whole moving in and shit, it's like when Jalsa you know what I mean, Like.
You, it's crazy too true, and you know what the good thing to remember is like, don't worry about people you know, like or you liking everybody, because not everybody likes you.
And you know, it's just it's wild.
I'm like, what's wrong with you? It's like what? So just remember that not everybody's gonna like you. I that that lady doesn't like me, and I want her to leave the room, all right. Stop. Okay, here's a good question.
I live in a one bedroom apartment, okay, flex and he's six windows, two doors, and apparently he's developed insomnia.
How do we share our bedroom? Okay? We get it.
When he can't sleep and I'm a light sleeper. Insomnia, Well, I don't know.
I know people with insomnia and they just look miserable.
Yeah, sometimes I.
Feel like because melatonin doesn't work. They try to get a prescription, Like, what is it? I don't know enough about it? What is it you go to confess to something or what what is it You need to drink a little bit more? What is it a little bit less? You need greens in your diet.
I don't think that's what it's. Somnia is actually.
Ghanda is.
Everything feels like it's actual Ganza over forty four.
It fixes fucking everything. What is it?
It's windex in my big fat green wedding. I feel I feel like with insomnia, you know you know it. No, not not personally, I know if it's reputation.
But like the older you get, this seems like a younger person. The older you get, people will just get up after a while.
Like people will just be like I was. They'll they'll get up at three in the morning, I don't do it and walk around and be like I'm mum about you know, They'll just be like, they'll be up, write a poem?
What gotcha?
The prices right? If you're gonna look there you get in a glass of milk?
Godchamn it.
Literally like lying in bed just staring at the ceiling because they can't you know they're not in touch with their circadian rhythms.
What I can l O L bitch.
You saying that ship Cashure's sweater?
Is this too much? It's just too fucking much. I feel like you should stay with this person. I'm sure that you're in with views views of the park, but.
I do think that panoramic.
I don't know, I don't know, but insomnia is not a life sentence, so.
So that should be the advertising for yours, and advertising it never goes away.
Try to love them through it, Try to love them another gem and if you can't. And I know that sounds crazy. I know this sounds crazy. I'm gonna see something crazy. Are you ready for crazy? Wellness? Wellness and crazy or the same thing?
I think?
I think your person might be on a bit too much coffee. Needs to cut back, needs to cut back. What do you think I just wanted to deal in as a substitute teacher?
Go I wheel in the TV.
You know I'm shying homeward bound. That's every single time it was homeward bound. I have seen homeward Bound twenty times.
Do you know what it was for me?
Because I'm older?
Okay, brag, Yeah, Willow. Oh yeah, yeah, will.
Guy google what Willow is?
Bitches?
I know we have to we listen. We asked every guest what shows.
What's the most adult think you want to do that you haven't had to do?
A goal?
Yeah, could be anything.
I would like to finally fully understand what a deductible is, Like, let's abductive. I I no.
Problem here, he's gonna say it.
I won't get it.
So I just want to say before before you even say it. It has been explained to me thirty two times, like I I have been on the phone with Blue Cross Blue Shield.
All the time.
It's my anthem.
Yeah I have. I have been on the phone with them. They explain it to me every time I'm on the phone with them, and I always preface it to be like I'm so dumb, I'm so sorry.
I know.
I mean, like I'm a five year I know, and I always know their name Janet. It's like Janet, I'm a little dummy, But what is a deductible? And what the fuck are you talking about? Like that's honestly what I feel. And twenty twenty four is going to be the year that I finally understand what a deductible is yeah.
Yeah.
The deductible is the threshold at which threshold the insurance company starts paying. Do you understand, So, if you have a thousand dollars deductible, it.
Once again went right in and it's said threshold you need, you need to do at least one thousand dollars of damage to your body.
Do you understand?
So if you like, let's say you if you had a five thousand dollars deductible and you just broke a finger, you're better off homeboy in America breaking the whole arm, do you understand, like shattering that shit and your spine so that blue Cross Blue Shield takes over and says, we got it.
Do you understand? The worse the better? But not too much.
Better because they set caps. Now, Dylan Mare and everybody.
What a cutie pie. More people like Dylan please in the world.
Sweet soul, great hair, good hair.
That's why you gotta love your kids. That's why you gotta love your kids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true.
That's all.
You know.
Some people just like kind of change the molecules around in the room. You you know what I'm saying, and they make it a kinder warmer place, and Dylan is definitely that very incandescent.
Yes, yeah, I mean, I don't know if that's a word or a person. I don't know how to spell it, but I'm just gonna say.
Yes, it's a bulb, like a light bulb, life bul Sure it glows.
He's more of a forty or a sixty or a fifty.
What Jersey Public school, Catholic fucking education, you guys. I don't know if you have like someone's birthday coming up. I know that Mother's Day is upon us pretty soon. Get his book, give it as a gift. Conversations with People who Hate Me Twelve Things I learned from talking to Internet strangers. I think it's really important and unique the way that he's done this, because the Internet is going and nowhere, and so we do have to learn how to deal with it and also to be kind.
That's my biggest thing.
Like, don't live in the comment section, live i RL lol, and don't forget to check out his podcast as well. Conversations with People who Hate Me. It's like it's mind blowing and also entertaining, which is my favorite place to live with elastic straps around my waist.
And don't forget his show Ted Lasso. Perhaps you've heard of it? Oh? Pretty bad? Got yeah?
All right? Everyone, take care. Buy our merch.
At the exactly Right Store dot com.
Oh my god.
This has been an exactly right production.
Our senior producer is g Howley.
Our associate producer is Christina Chamberlain.
This episode was mixed by John Bradley.
Our guest booker is Patrick Cotner.
Production support from Hannah Kyle Crichton.
Theme song and live show DJing is by DJ Don Will.
Our live producer is Makala Konazovich.
Artwork by Jamie Bechtel.
Photography by Reis vander Most.
Executive produced by Karen Kilgera, Georgia Hartstark and Daniel Kramer.
Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting the Pod.
Email your questions to Adulting Questions at gmail dot com.
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