If you’ve ever been told your child is ‘defiant’, ‘rude’, or ‘lazy’—this episode is for you.

Tania Waring is back to unpack how stress behaviours are misread as misbehaviour in classrooms. Drawing on her PhD research into co-regulation and inclusive education, Tania explains what’s really going on for ADHD and autistic students—and why the classroom itself can fuel or relieve their distress.

We talk about why behaviour systems like marbles-in-the-jar and Dojo points don’t work for neurodivergent kids, and how regulation starts with the adult in the room. We cover practical ways teachers (and parents) can co-regulate, build trust, and support children in distress without punishing them for brain-based struggles.

This episode is honest, emotional, and full of tools for both home and school. If you’ve ever felt alone advocating for your child—or if you’re a teacher desperate for something that actually works—this conversation will validate what you already know and help you name it out loud.

📚 Mentioned in this episode:
Berry Street Education Model
Social Stencil neurodiversity-affirming SEL
Mental Health Menu (Victoria DET)
Books:
The Neurodiverse Classroom – Victoria Honeybourne
Creating Trauma-Informed, Strengths-Based Classrooms – Tom Brunzell
Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools – Emily Kircher-Morris
The Whole-Brain Child – Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
Universal Design for Learning (UDL) Guidelines

Resources Mentioned:

🔗 To find out more about Millie Carr or purchase her books please click on her website or check out her IG

🔗 Sign our Change Petition here

🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here

🎧 Listener Questions please send here

🔗 Free Guides and Resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/

Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD)

👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission:humanrights.gov.au

📚 References & Further Reading
Disability Standards for Education 2005
Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government

Disability Discrimination Act 1992
View the full legislation on the Federal Register

JOIN THE COMMUNITY:

Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!

FOLLOW FOR MORE:

Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me onInstagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube

LEAVE A REVIEW:

Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.

COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at assistant@adhdmums.com.au.

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

ADHD classroom behaviour, neurodivergent students school, ADHD school meltdown, trauma-informed teaching ADHD, co-regulation in education, stress behaviour vs misbehaviour, neurodiversity affirming strategies, inclusive education ADHD, autism shutdown at school, ADHD advocacy, classroom behaviour systems, Dojo points criticism, emotional regulation in school, ADHD support for teachers, Berry Street model, Universal Design for Learning ADHD, strength-based education, emotional safety in classrooms, behaviour as communication, ADHD discipline alternatives, neurodivergent parenting, supporting ADHD kids in school, autistic school experience, ADHD overwhelm school, masking and meltdown cycle, ADHD parenting, ADHD and school trauma.

If you&rsquo;ve ever been told your child is &lsquo;defiant&rsquo;, &lsquo;rude&rsquo;, or &lsquo;lazy&rsquo;&mdash;this episode is for you.
Tania Waring is back to unpack how stress behaviours are misread as misbehaviour in classrooms. Drawing on her PhD research into co-regulation and inclusive education, Tania explains what&rsquo;s really going on for ADHD and autistic students&mdash;and why the classroom itself can fuel or relieve their distress.
We talk about why behaviour systems like marbles-in-the-jar and Dojo points don&rsquo;t work for neurodivergent kids, and how regulation starts with the adult in the room. We cover practical ways teachers (and parents) can co-regulate, build trust, and support children in distress without punishing them for brain-based struggles.
This episode is honest, emotional, and full of tools for both home and school. If you&rsquo;ve ever felt alone advocating for your child&mdash;or if you&rsquo;re a teacher desperate for something that actually works&mdash;this conversation will validate what you already know and help you name it out loud.
📚 Mentioned in this episode:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.berrystreet.org.au/learning-and-resources/berry-street-education-model">Berry Street Education Model</a></li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.socialstencil.com/curriculum">Social Stencil neurodiversity-affirming SEL</a></li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www2.education.vic.gov.au/pal/mental-health-fund-menu/policy">Mental Health Menu (Victoria DET)</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Books:</li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="2"><a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/Neurodiverse-Classroom-Victoria-Honeybourne/dp/1785923625">The Neurodiverse Classroom &ndash; Victoria Honeybourne</a></li>
<li aria-level="2"><a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/Creating-Trauma-Informed-Strengths-Based-Classrooms-Brunzell/dp/1787753743">Creating Trauma-Informed, Strengths-Based Classrooms &ndash; Tom Brunzel</a>l</li>
<li aria-level="2"><a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/Neurodiversity-Affirming-Schools-Transforming-Practices-Professional%C2%AE/dp/B0D81QWSX8">Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools &ndash; Emily Kircher-Morris</a></li>
<li aria-level="2"><a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing/dp/0553386697/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=147949673892&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.jcU71OgNDiKVbYlbg1sJXYv-HMfFo7TBDpinKymKsUy_Oz0pAFj3yuOn2ADC6WBfOGWrFHp6aOSTbIvj1GUqFLqhPe4MsIVJPV8sjHb6BLYS7FcgehBbfdQEXchceeWcqO-ek_oxMnl8kcUsMWtXYnmx8bwv95OWR53U_Y2LDg5QZKd11ddcB8_2JqfZXTmlS5K9n4jKI0eSTsbnFHTMrA7Zk4cKR7S_Y1VZ511AstI.ZnYAQvu8J853uKu_o4QZfbEw5n_KWWTaY5esDPxMWgI&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;hvadid=630178931716&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvlocphy=20827&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvqmt=e&amp;hvrand=17834547439709504511&amp;hvtargid=kwd-339717520714&amp;hydadcr=7773_13586725&amp;keywords=whole+brain+child+book&amp;mcid=e4ca27adf82f372989975880beb1f7c8&amp;qid=1749552117&amp;sr=8-1">The Whole-Brain Child &ndash; Daniel J. Siegel &amp; Tina Payne Bryson</a></li>
</ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://udlguidelines.cast.org/">Universal Design for Learning (UDL) Guidelines</a></li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
🔗 To find out more about Millie Carr or purchase her books please click on her <a href="https://milliecarrbooks.com/">website</a> or check out her<a href="http://instagram.com/unmasking.education/"> IG</a>
🔗 Sign our Change Petition<a href="https://www.change.org/p/our-schools-are-in-crisis-why-are-we-still-ignoring-inclusive-education"> here</a>
🔗 Submit your experience with schooling <a href="https://form.jotform.com/251417656959875">here</a>
🎧 Listener Questions please send <a href="https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864">here</a>
🔗 Free Guides and Resources: <a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/">https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/</a>
<a href="https://www.education.gov.au/disability-standards-education-2005">Disability &amp; Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD)</a>
👩&zwj;⚖️ Human Rights Commission:<a href="https://humanrights.gov.au"> </a><a href="http://humanrights.gov.au">humanrights.gov.au</a>
📚 References &amp; Further Reading
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Disability Standards for Education 2005 <a href="https://www.education.gov.au/disability-standards-education-2005">Read via the Department of Education &ndash; Australian Government</a></li>
</ul>
Disability Discrimination Act 1992 <a href="https://www.legislation.gov.au/Details/C2022C00356">View the full legislation on the Federal Register</a>
JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast">here</a>&nbsp;and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!
FOLLOW FOR MORE:
Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/adhd_mums">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://facebook.com/100091850469503/">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdmumsaus">TikTok</a> or <a href="https://youtube.com/channel/UCB0uYIHpFKFo6AdhQQaBr1w">YouTube</a>
LEAVE A REVIEW:
Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let&rsquo;s spread the word and make a difference together.
COLLABS:
For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at assistant@adhdmums.com.au.
MORE RESOURCES:
Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests&nbsp;<a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/self-tests/">here</a>.
TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
ADHD classroom behaviour, neurodivergent students school, ADHD school meltdown, trauma-informed teaching ADHD, co-regulation in education, stress behaviour vs misbehaviour, neurodiversity affirming strategies, inclusive education ADHD, autism shutdown at school, ADHD advocacy, classroom behaviour systems, Dojo points criticism, emotional regulation in school, ADHD support for teachers, Berry Street model, Universal Design for Learning ADHD, strength-based education, emotional safety in classrooms, behaviour as communication, ADHD discipline alternatives, neurodivergent parenting, supporting ADHD kids in school, autistic school experience, ADHD overwhelm school, masking and meltdown cycle, ADHD parenting, ADHD and school trauma.

Welcome to The ADHD MUMS Podcast, a lifeline for Australian mums navigating ADHD and motherhood. Perfect for struggling, burnt out mums who want to drop perfectionism.

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