Who are you when the thing that defined you is taken away?

What happens when the life you planned no longer exists?

How do you grieve a future that never happened?

Can uncertainty become a place of growth instead of fear?

 

In this deeply moving episode of A Really Good Cry, Radhi sits down with cognitive scientist and author Dr. Maya Shankar for an honest conversation about identity, loss, and navigating life’s most unexpected transitions. Dr. Maya is the author of The Other Side of Change: Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans, a book rooted in both science and lived experience.

 

Maya shares the story of her childhood as a violin prodigy — accepted into Juilliard at nine and studying under Itzhak Perlman — until a career-ending injury at fifteen forced her to grieve not just the violin, but the version of herself she thought she would be. She opens up about how losing the violin meant losing her confidence, her identity, and the future she had built her entire life around.

 

She also speaks candidly about her fertility journey, including miscarriage, surrogacy, and the realization that some desires are shaped by cultural expectations of womanhood. Maya reflects on how choosing to pause her path to motherhood brought unexpected peace and clarity.

 

Radhi shares her own experiences of identity loss — from moving to New York and no longer being able to practice as a clinical dietitian, to navigating grief after the peaceful passing of her grandmother. Together, they explore how identity can unravel when the “what” of our lives changes, and why anchoring ourselves in why we do things allows us to evolve without losing ourselves.

 

In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why identity rooted in roles and achievements is fragile
How grief shows up when we lose a future we imagined
The difference between what you do and why you do it
Why humans crave certainty — and how to live without it
How to find safety in community instead of clear answers
What the “end of history illusion” reveals about personal growth
How mental time travel can help ease anxiety and fear
Why witnessing human goodness can restore hope and meaning

 

This episode is a gentle reminder that change doesn’t mean something went wrong — sometimes it means life is asking you to become more than you planned.





Follow Maya Shankar: 

https://mayashankar.com/

https://changewithmaya.substack.com/p/introducing-change-with-maya-shankar

https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmayashankar

https://www.instagram.com/drmayashankar





Follow Radhi:

https://www.instagram.com/radhidevlukia/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxWe9A4kMf9V_AHOXkGhCzQ

https://www.facebook.com/radhidevlukia1/

https://www.tiktok.com/@radhidevlukia

Who are you when the thing that defined you is taken away?
What happens when the life you planned no longer exists?
How do you grieve a future that never happened?
Can uncertainty become a place of growth instead of fear?
&nbsp;
In this deeply moving episode of A Really Good Cry, Radhi sits down with cognitive scientist and author Dr. Maya Shankar for an honest conversation about identity, loss, and navigating life&rsquo;s most unexpected transitions. Dr. Maya is the author of The Other Side of Change: Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans, a book rooted in both science and lived experience.
&nbsp;
Maya shares the story of her childhood as a violin prodigy &mdash; accepted into Juilliard at nine and studying under Itzhak Perlman &mdash; until a career-ending injury at fifteen forced her to grieve not just the violin, but the version of herself she thought she would be. She opens up about how losing the violin meant losing her confidence, her identity, and the future she had built her entire life around.
&nbsp;
She also speaks candidly about her fertility journey, including miscarriage, surrogacy, and the realization that some desires are shaped by cultural expectations of womanhood. Maya reflects on how choosing to pause her path to motherhood brought unexpected peace and clarity.
&nbsp;
Radhi shares her own experiences of identity loss &mdash; from moving to New York and no longer being able to practice as a clinical dietitian, to navigating grief after the peaceful passing of her grandmother. Together, they explore how identity can unravel when the &ldquo;what&rdquo; of our lives changes, and why anchoring ourselves in why we do things allows us to evolve without losing ourselves.
&nbsp;
In this episode, you&rsquo;ll learn:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why identity rooted in roles and achievements is fragile</li>
<li aria-level="1">How grief shows up when we lose a future we imagined</li>
<li aria-level="1">The difference between what you do and why you do it</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why humans crave certainty &mdash; and how to live without it</li>
<li aria-level="1">How to find safety in community instead of clear answers</li>
<li aria-level="1">What the &ldquo;end of history illusion&rdquo; reveals about personal growth</li>
<li aria-level="1">How mental time travel can help ease anxiety and fear</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why witnessing human goodness can restore hope and meaning</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
This episode is a gentle reminder that change doesn&rsquo;t mean something went wrong &mdash; sometimes it means life is asking you to become more than you planned.
 
Follow Maya Shankar:&nbsp;
<a href="https://mayashankar.com/">https://mayashankar.com/</a>
<a href="https://changewithmaya.substack.com/p/introducing-change-with-maya-shankar">https://changewithmaya.substack.com/p/introducing-change-with-maya-shankar</a>
<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmayashankar">https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmayashankar</a>
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/drmayashankar">https://www.instagram.com/drmayashankar</a>
 
Follow Radhi:
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/radhidevlukia/">https://www.instagram.com/radhidevlukia/</a>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxWe9A4kMf9V_AHOXkGhCzQ">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxWe9A4kMf9V_AHOXkGhCzQ</a>
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/radhidevlukia1/">https://www.facebook.com/radhidevlukia1/</a>
<a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@radhidevlukia">https://www.tiktok.com/@radhidevlukia</a>

This podcast won’t solve all your problems, but it WILL go through them with you. Radhi Devlukia brings you a new weekly show called A Really Good Cry, a space where we can embrace the real, the messy and the beautiful parts of life that can be difficult to digest alone, together. Tune in for a good ole’ laugh, maybe shed a tear or two, and join a community where you can have a really good cry!

There's no small talk here, we are diving straight in and it’s gonna get real. Whether it’s raw, unfiltered conversations, debate and discussions of different perspectives and life experiences or going on an emotional rollercoaster. A Really Good Cry is there for you to learn, connect, and find comfort together - that allows us to see the world and ourselves with a new perspective. 

Some episodes will also feature surprise guests, including celebrities, scientists, experts and more. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Tag @areallygoodcry on Instagram with your best crying face for a chance to be featured on our social media channels. Like, comment and follow @areallygoodcry on Instagram if you want the chance to be featured on episodes. You can also subscribe to get exclusive and bonus content. Radhi will give listeners the opportunity to be part of the show by responding to dms, comments, questions and more. 

This podcast won’t solve all your problems, but it WILL go through them with you. Radhi Devlukia brings you a new weekly show called A Really Good Cry, a space where we can embrace the real, the messy and the beautiful parts of life that can be difficult to digest alone, together. Tune in for a good ole’ laugh, maybe shed a tear or two, and join a community where you can have a really good cry!
There's no small talk here, we are diving straight in and it’s gonna get real. Whether it’s raw, unfiltered conversations, debate and discussions of different perspectives and life experiences or going on an emotional rollercoaster. A Really Good Cry is there for you to learn, connect, and find comfort together - that allows us to see the world and ourselves with a new perspective. 
Some episodes will also feature surprise guests, including celebrities, scientists, experts and more. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Tag @areallygoodcry on Instagram with your best crying face for a chance to be featured on our social media channels. Like, comment and follow @areallygoodcry on Instagram if you want the chance to be featured on episodes. You can also subscribe to get exclusive and bonus content. Radhi will give listeners the opportunity to be part of the show by responding to dms, comments, questions and more.

A Really Good Cry

This podcast won’t solve all your problems, but it WILL go through them with you. Radhi Devlukia brings you a new weekly show called A Really Good Cry, a space where we can embrace the real, the messy and the beautiful parts of life that can be difficult to digest alone, together. Tune in for a good ole’ laugh, maybe shed a tear or two, and join a community where you can have a really good cry!
There's no small talk here, we are diving straight in and it’s gonna get real. Whether it’s raw, unfiltered conversations, debate and discussions of different perspectives and life experiences or going on an emotional rollercoaster. A Really Good Cry is there for you to learn, connect, and find comfort together - that allows us to see the world and ourselves with a new perspective. 
Some episodes will also feature surprise guests, including celebrities, scientists, experts and more. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Tag @areallygoodcry on Instagram with your best crying face for a chance to be featured on our social media channels. Like, comment and follow @areallygoodcry on Instagram if you want the chance to be featured on episodes. You can also subscribe to get exclusive and bonus content. Radhi will give listeners the opportunity to be part of the show by responding to dms, comments, questions and more.

Grieving the Future You Imagined with Dr. Maya Shankar

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/20217522-a414-4876-979a-b3d1007ab780/transcript