Group Therapy ThursdayIt's Group Therapy Thursday time!
Dear Ted & Amy-
My husband and his brother are very best friends. They talk almost every day and sometimes multiple times a day. About 15 years ago my brother in law and his wife moved away from CNY. We try and visit when we can, but as we all know travel is expensive and it can't always be done and they rarely make an effort to come north. So we don't see them as often as we'd like and sadly do not have a "real" relationship with my niece (age 7) or nephew (age 10). That said, every year I have always gone out of my way to make a solid effort when it comes to the holidays- all of them- Valentines Day, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. Whether it be a card in the mail or a surprise package with all sorts of goodies. This year for Halloween, I sent both kids each a goody bag with all sorts of treats....candy, toys, trinkets, stickers, pens ... all fun stuff! My sister in law sent me a video of the kids opening their treats and in the video my sister in law made a comment about how I have spoiled them. Without missing a beat, the 7 year old says "no they didn't" with a sassy little attitude and a disgusted look on her face. Now, this is not the first time my niece has behaved this way and NOT been corrected. Now, typically I would chalk this up to a 7 year old sassy girl, however this happens almost every time we send them something. My nephew is completely overjoyed and appreciative. My niece is quite the opposite. I actually stopped exchanging Christmas gifts with them 2 years ago because I was making such an effort and it wasn't being returned. It was thoughtless "stuff" that ended up getting thrown away. And while I understand its the thought that counts, there was zero thought being put into anything being given to my son and he was starting to notice, so I squashed the gift giving at Christmas. So my question is- since my niece continues to be a brat, should I stop sending things to them? What about my nephew- he IS so appreciative and always makes an effort to call/text to thank us, so I don't want him to be punished for her rude behavior. I could say something to my in laws but I think it will fall on deaf ears just like it did with Christmas gift giving. Not quite sure how to handle this one. Looking forward to getting some advice.
Signed,
Frustrated in Fairmount
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