Only a few teams left at 3-0, but we still only have 10 minutes:
Wedding vows take longer than this week's podcast! BOOM!
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Ten takes that we will give to you in ten minutes, not less, but also not more. The bomb explodes if I hit ten minutes, this may be the week I do it. In the middle of the fifth take, I just say, screw it. Have a little chaos around here.
I like it. I'm ready to go. Ten takes in ten minutes. Here we go. Take number one. The Chiefs are not that good and they don't care. They're three and zero.
Even Mahomes, after winning a primetime game in which they were losing it, comes back and wins it at the end dramatically. Mahomes's first comments are like, yeah, I'm just I'm not really playing very well right now. I'm not that good right now. And he's right, and he knows it's it's sloppy. It's like the Chiefs are still in ath leisure mode. They don't really feel like getting dressed. I kind of just want to wear sweatpants. I wore them all weekend Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday, all day in the couch, and I kind of feel like going to work Monday in sweatpants. And I'm so good at my job that I won't get in trouble and I won't get fired. I can wear sweatpants to work. Mahomes hasn't done much. Kelsey is this bizarre enigma who never shows up where shee. Rice is incredibly productive, but they just keep winning, and they won based on the strength of just destroying Bijon every single time he touched the ball for the Falcons. I know he was getting some heat. Is the number one fantasy pick, and I guess he would be a better pick than McCaffrey at this point, but he ran all over Philadelphia and Kansas City said not today. Bolton was their MVP. The Chiefs aren't even that good, but they're three and oh and they'll get better.
Take number two.
The Steelers are really good. The Steelers are awesome. I picked them and to go to the playoffs, and I'm not doing that to pat myself on the back. I'm mostly doing it to point the finger out people who didn't. How about you guys figured out that every year the Steelers matter. They're never incredible, but they're never bad, and they're usually not even average. You're sitting there all my coya and all people who don't even work in the industry, who just do it conversationally. They didn't have the Steelers in the playoffs just yet. No, they don't have a quarterback. Russell Socks Field Socks. They're three and oh, they're three and oh. They've given up ten points, six points and ten points over the first three weeks. Maybe you haven't seen them much because they're not on red zone very much because the team that they're playing against is never in the red zone. Scott Hansen does not talk much Steelers. I love how the Steelers are playing. They will be in the playoffs. They're always in the playoffs. They'll probably lose in the first round of the playoffs, but that's not what this is about. They'll probably be there, and I love the Steelers.
Take number three.
If I was one of the power ranking folk, and I know some of these people who they make their living doing power rankings men and women. Every single week. They churn them out and somebody pays them to do it. The team that would have me the most flummixed. They have me staying up late at night. Is the Minnesota Vikings because if you've watched all the games for three weeks, unquestionably they are the number one team if you do it based on having nothing to do with before this year, having nothing to do with reputations or anything outside of the pure games. For four quarters every week, the Vikings have been the most complete, the most dominant, the most impressive.
That win, they crushed the Texans.
I don't know if you saw that game, if you just saw the final score, it was never a game from start to finish. And the Texans are someone we look at as like a top five team who really matter, I think, and they probably still do.
They just destroyed them. And that was the week after crushing the Niners. The darnold thing is if everyone's prejudice to it, myself included, like it's hard.
To come around. But they have been so good it is not a joke. Remember week one as a liar. Week two starts to tell the truth. And now we've seen twelve quarters of football and nobody has played anything close to as good as the Vikings. If they're at like three or four or five in the Power rankings. I officially don't understand power rankings. Take number four. We have to get to this back to the Chiefs. Did you get a load of the story about Carson Steel they're running back. It's been talked about a lot that he's a rookie with long hair, and he's a tailback from UCLA, a white guy, and he's got an alligator at home and all that. We've covered that a lot, but last night it took such a dramatic turn. And props to a friend of mine who have worked with a bunch of Melissa Stark on Sunday night football. They go to the shot and it's this bunch of people watching the game, the Chiefs game on a large screen. So you figure it's a viewing party in Kansas City, or it's at the stadium or something.
No, it's at Carson Steele, the rookie running back. It's at his.
Sister's wedding, which was going on simultaneously to the game. And everyone's takeaway was, what are you doing? Why would you schedule a Sunday night wedding when your brother is the starting running back for the Kansas City Chiefs. A you know he's not gonna be able to be there.
B don't you want to kind of watch the game if not go to the game. That's a big deal. And the best part was the second layer of the report, which was so relatable in that Melissa Stark and then subsequently Mike Tarico says they've had the venue locked for a long time.
It was the only night they could do it, so they stuck with it. You know my takeaway from this report, that must have been a great venue.
They must have loved that venue.
Because all of us have either been to a wedding, many of us have had our own. The venue is a beast. It is very difficult to either first of all, find one that you like and that your wife or husband like, or then to lock it down and you're doing this thing fifteen sixteen months out. They must have been so happy with that venue. It must have been beautiful, plenty of parking, good location, great spot for photos, all your power needs and catering needs. Carson Steel could have been playing in the Super Bowl and his sister would have been like, sorry, my night, my venue.
I can do a lot of things.
We can change the flowers, we can change the chicken, we can change the kind of chairs we use. We are not changing this venue from my cold dead hands. Are you taking this venue from me? I don't care what Carson is doing. Shout out to Kessler Steel and her new husband Jack. I wonder what Jack's role was in this. Is he tight with the running back? Is he tight with the family? And then the fact is they had the whole wedding. I'm burning so much time on this take. They have the whole wedding watching the brother's football game at the wedding, so it's still a huge role in it. And it's not about the bride and groom anymore. It's about the famous brother of the bride, and like people are having crabcakes and you know, lemon shots whatever lemon drops while they're watching the Chiefs game. What a weird deal. We've seen it so many times where there's a dynamic kind of cross section or there's a conflict with the football game and the wedding. I've never heard of that. My wife and I loved our wedding venue. I'd like to think that if like my brother or her brother was playing behind Patrick Mahomes, we might have loosened our grip on the venue and said let's change it. It's already a Sunday night wedding. It's a little bit weird. I got so many more thoughts and I want more layers on the Kessler and Jack wedding. I'm only on five and I have three and a half minutes left to go. This one will be easy.
Number five.
The Cowboys are just a bad superhero. I don't even know what their powers are. Micah Parsons afterwards, after they lose to the Ravens said, we got people trying to be Superman out here. I think I wish that is the worst Superman impression ever. Even in Superman three when Superman was drunk in the Richard Pryor Superman, they're not even that you know there. I'll go to Superman four. They're Nuclear Man. Nuclear Man was supposed to be an opponent for Superman. They found a guy who's powered by nuclear warheads or something, and he could actually really beat up Superman. This is before our superhero movies were like Captain America versus Thor and Tanis and all that. We grew up with Nuclear Man versus Superman and the guy they got to play Nuclear Man and Superman four.
The Quest for piece.
There's a former Chippendale's dancer, so he looked great, muscular as hell, sort of a blonde Dolph Lungern and Masters of the Universe mullet and he did this evil facial expression the whole thing. But I'm not sure kind of thespian he was opposite Christopher Reeve. That's the Cowboys. They're nuclear, man, and if they lose again, things are going to be nuclear. From Mike McCarthy, Take number six, did you really buy the Saints? Did you think the Saints were going to be the greatest show on turf for seventeen weeks?
Are you at all.
Surprise that they didn't score forty points or twenty points in this game against the Eagles. We've seen a lot of Derek Carr over the years, guys, and he's always been a good guy and a nice person and an extremely flawed quarterback. He's even said it himself, my whole career has been a roller coaster. You knew that was coming. We were not going to get a fifteen and two Saints team averaging forty points a game. We knew that was coming. Take number seven. Sean mcmay is the best coach in the NFL. I've said it for about two years now. I've set it for the entire preseason. Do you know what that game was Rams Niners. It was him versus Shanahan. All their players were injured on both sides, so they said, let's do this like goldenin End sixty four. Let's do slappers only, no weapons, just walking up to each other and slapping each other in the face with backups and see who can win. McVeagh was the better coach something. Shanahan's the best coaching league.
It's not. It's McVeigh and he won slappers only. That's my proof. Take number eight. I don't know if I have the energy to talk about the Bears right now.
Is it possible for me to give a take to saying either A, I don't have a take, or B I don't want to give you my take. It's more the second one, because Monday you're supposed to think positive, especially it's so early in the season. There's not much positive for the Bears. If I were to tell you that Kaylab Williams to throw for three hundred and sixty yards and two touchdowns and Bears fans would be miserable. That's the state of the Bears. Think about that. That's where we're at. Take number nine.
Meanwhile, as Kayla Williams are getting sacked and picked off, Justin Fields was turning into John Elway for the Steelers. That was a rough, rough Sunday for Bears fans. I don't know that will Levis comeback win week one seems like a month ago.
Take number ten. Pibachi restaurants are undefeated. I went to one on Saturday night with my wife and kids and my father. It's always a good time. You never go to a Benny Hannah or a cook in front of you knockoff benne Hana and you're not entertained. You're never titilated by the onion volcano, by the beating heart. I caught shrimp in my mouth. I had sapporo. It was a great time. Did you ever leave those places like that? Was kind of boring? Never you leave in your clothes stink, but your belly is full. You're probably had some drinks and you're like, man, did I really need all of that filet and all of that fried rice and all of that zucchini vegetable medley and that hot cup of mushroom soup and.
The ginger salad. Yes, kabachi undefeated. It's one of the rare things you ever do that is always great. You know what else is undefeated? You guessed it.
Ten takes. You get him in ten minutes. We always keep up. We never go too long. We never filibuster, which is what I'm doing now. So I need to say goodbye. I will see you my friends after week four. Go catch some shrimp, come back with me with stories. See you next time. Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership with iHeartRadio. For more iHeartRadio pods, go to the iHeartRadio app, go to Apple, go anywhere you like, it'll be there.