It's Thanksgiving Week and time is limited, so let's do this in 10 minutes...
Have a great Thanksgiving and send all your cranberries this way!
Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership with iHeartRadio. Ten Takes Thanksgiving weeks my favorite holiday. That's not even a take, that's a free one. It's eleven takes. Today, guys changed the title of the show. No, it's ten takes. I do love Thanksgiving, so I want to get to it, and so do you. I'm gonna do this quickly. I'm gonna do it in ten minutes, like I always do. If I don't, the bomb goes off and we all just perish in flames. I hope it doesn't happen. There's only one way to find out. I who willdow Is to do it? Start the clock? Take number one. I want Saquon Barkley to win MVP. I've wanted it for weeks. I've talked about it for weeks. You're gonna see a lot of people talking about it now because he just had this massive game of national television. I want him to win MVP. Before the season, I predicted that Josh Allen would win MVP. That was my prediction. But I want Saquon too. I don't know why it's become personal to me. I want a running back to win it or what receiver or a pass rusher. I just want someone other than insert quarterback here to win the MVP. It makes it much more interesting, It makes it a little bit more unexpected. So right now, Josh Allen's one of the front runners, and he if he wanted, that would be cool. He's never won it before. Lamar, I'm already bored. He's running a few times. It's fine, We've done that, Jared Goff. Fine, I guess I don't know if the voters are gonna give it to a guy through five interceptions on a game. Saquon, I want to win MVP, just to shake up the damn thing. Last time we saw it was Adris and Peters. Adrian Peterson, you know the story, and that was it. He had a crazy story two thousand yards after a torn ACL. Saquon has an amazing story. He was on a reality show about his team choosing Daniel Jones over him. Can you imagine that that happened? And now he wins MVP. His numbers have got to keep being crazy. Though this RAMS game was not enough. He needs to do it against Baltimore. He needs to do it against Dallas. It's one of the last games that they play, and even if Dallas is irrelevant, I feel like Siriana has the potential there to say, screw let's get Saquon six touchdowns this game. It's like when David Robinson scored seventy plus points on the last day of the NBA regular season win the scoring title. They just wanted him to get the title. I want Saquon to win MVP. It's gonna He's gonna need a perfect campaign. It can't be any off weeks, even when they play the Panthers. He needs to put up big numbers. People like him. He's all classed, the media likes him. He just needs to keep torching it. I want him to win MVP. Take number two. Commander's Cowboys was not drunk. I saw that era. People like to tweet that this game is drunk. Oh, I'll have what this game is having. No, no, no, no, no, That game was not drunk. That game was you're at a bar with your friends and one of your friends disappears for like an hour. You're like, where the hell did geth go? We were like, where the hell the Commanders Cowboys go? And then you go in the bathroom and Commander's Cowboys is faced down in the stall on its chest like in puke, wearing a shirt that says, take me drunk, I'm home. You're like, what the hell happened to Commander's Cowboys? They go back to the hotel, like, let's do shots. Let's not go to the elevator. Shots on me. The Cowboys made the worst play of the NFL season. No plays have been worse than the Terry McLaurin long touchdown play where they just had to tackle him even if he caught it. Just tackle him and you're gonna win the game. They couldn't tackle him, and they still won that game in which they played the worst play of the season. What's the best play of the season, the Josh Allen fourth and two against the Chiefs. Maybe the worst was McLaurin running through the Cowboys secondary and it didn't even matter. Mclurin didn't even win that game because they couldn't make an extra point. And that brings me to take number three. I think we're in the middle of the best kicker season ever, and by best, I mean most fun, most entertaining. Remember in September and October, people are like, we need to narrow the uprights. These kickers have gotten too good. I remember in my day you'd see a fifty yard field goal once a month. Now you see him once a quarter. And it was like the kickers were having a moment. They were the best kickers ever. Now they're all a disaster. It feels like they're all a mess. They're all in their own heads. The end of the Texans game, how was your Kayimi fairbaron day? The Commanders, the Cowboys, the Bears again. Now I get so excited when I see the kickers come out at the end of the game. It used to be boring. You knew they were going to make it, gonna be an eighty three yard field goal and they split the upbrads. Now they always do something stupid and it's so fun. The only person who made the clutch field goal was the Chiefs kicker, and he's actually the backup kicker. We're in the middle of the most fun kicker season ever. Take number four. The Lions are the best team in the NFL. I have it right now. I'll just do it off the top of my head. Top four teams right now, Lions, Bills, Eagles, Packers, that's my top four. But I actually think there's a big gap between the Lions and number two. You know what, because they have this ninety nine rams offense and they're all winning New Year Fantasy leagues and running back to here and wide receivers here. The defense is playing lights out. They are so good right now on defense. I remember the morning after the Aiden hutches an injury. I'm thinking, I think the Lions just blew the Super Bowl. I don't think they can win a super Bowl with that Hutchinson. He's too important. He's probably the second most important player on their team behind Golf. Do you know in the last three games the Lions, they've given up zero second half points, three games in a row with no scoring in the second half by the other team. You thought Anthony Richardson was going to be a resurgent yesterday. Maybe they're at home, they're the Colts. Maybe the Lions are looking ahead to Thanksgiving. No, the Colts didn't even score a touchdown. The Lions are the best team in the NFL, and it's because their defense is playing as well as their offense. Take number five. I'm trying to find the come running team. I talked about this last week. It's my favorite type of team into November and December, the team that started off awful and started like one and six and then just find something in the middle of the season and comes tearing down the stretch. And you don't think they're gonna get in because their record's bad. But you can make a case like, I think this is a top six or seven team in the whole league, but they're not gonna make the playoffs because the record is not good. Miami has potential, Seattle has potential, and Miami. I am so excited for Thursday night. You know how big it is Miami at Green Bay. If Miami wins, it's going to be four wins in a row. And they have this crazy roster and two is healthy and he's dealing. But they can never win any kind of weather, and everyone's just gonna beat the hell out of them if they lose again to the Packers in like twenty three degrees, and they'll just be a complete, complete dead horse, beating up the Dolphins for never being able to win like that. But if they do win, watch the hell out for the Dolphins. It'd be so fun if they were in the playoffs. Take number six. Don't ever ever ever hire an interim head coach. Look at what's going on with the Raiders right now. Remember how cool Antonio Pierce. They beat the Chiefs and they smoke cigars. Hire him, hire them. It's awful. The team is awful. He's awful. He doesn't even seem like he's involved in the game. On the sideline, he seems totally checked out. Don't ever hire an interim coach. And we have it going on right now. Sure enough, just like clockwork, the Saints fire their coach. Coach Rizzy comes in, wins two in a row, and if they win one more games, I think we should keep them next year. Don't do it. They always get a bump, they always get excited. It is just like you get out of this miserable, miserable, hateful marriage and you go on and you find some young girl, young guy, whatever it is. You're like, this is great. There's a new life. And I were doing crazy things and I love this rebound relationship. You know what we should do. We should get married. I'm gonna put a ring on my rebound relationship disaster. Don't do it. I don't care if the Saints went out. Do not hire that coach. Look at the Raiders. Remember the Raiders beat the hell out of the Chiefs on Christmas Day. They made a great case. They hire Antonio Pierce terrible, should have never done it. Take number seven. I want Sean Payton in the playoffs. If I'm picking my AFC playoff party, I want all the badass coaches. I want the coaches that don't give a damn. And there is no one in all of football who gives less of a damn or is less impressed about you than Sean Payton. Sean Payton is not afraid to go head to head with Andy, with Tomlin, with the Hardbob Boys. Certainly not Sean McDermott, Mike McDaniel, whoever the hell makes it in. I want Sean Payton and there he's the guy who's gonna give you the big quote. If they lose, there's going to be controversy. He'll do something a little bit nuts. He's got a rookie quarterback. You want the good characters in there. So with due respect to some of the other people who might have a shot, you know, I like the Texans and everything. Dimiko is a cool guy, but I want like the old Guard. If we just lined up all those guys, and Sean Payton in year two gets the Broncos with the rookie into the playoffs a season after they were a losing record, after they got rid of us, and this season they started zero to two. Now you're in with Nicks, who no one was even that impressed with. That would be really cool. I want Payton in the playoff. Take number eight. The most watchable player in the league right now is Will Levis. That's I said it. The Titans quarterbacks not the best. He is so watchable. It was amazing what he did yesterday. I don't know how much of Texans Titans you watch, probably not a lot. This time year. You see that Titans logo and it just slowly or quickly puts you to sleep. Levis was sacked eight times, would get up every time with those crazy bulging biceps. He has a quarterback. He threw a classic, terrible pick six bounce back from it. He's always a meme. He's always on Instagram. There's always something he does. If you haven't seen it yet, look at the run that he'd us after the pick six. He puts his head to the ground and runs like he's Ramman. From he met It's hilarious. Take number nine wildly self indulgent. Take here. If you have kids and over the next week or so, certainly the next couple months, they're gonna have a lot of time off school, and like, what the hell do I do with them? Watch Human Versus Hamster. It's streams on Max. It's on Max Hbo streaming service. It's a show I was one of the hosts of. It's a ridiculous, silly, fun kids show. It's literally called Human Versus Hamster. You can not come up with a more ridiculous name. It's completely G rated PG rated maybe entertainment. It's literally it's people who run race against little hamsters. Your kids will love it, and you don't have to worry at all about what they're watching. I mean, I wasn't even allowed to go on that show and say like, oh my god. I would have to say, oh my goodness. It was pure wholesome entertainment. You would love it. End of infomercial. Human Versus Handster stream on Max. Tweet me about it. Take number ten. I like cranberries. I don't care that you don't. I like them. You hate them, You're probably triggered right now. I like cranberry's They're not that good. They're bitter, they're tart, whatever you want to say. But it's once a year you eat them. I don't eat cranberries in May. I don't eat cranberries in December or September, October, ether once a year. It's not that they taste good. It's that they taste like Thanksgiving. And honestly, if you put enough sugar in them, some people put like blueberries and stuff in them, they taste absolutely great. For each of the holidays in the fall and winter, there is one highly polarizing food or beverage. Okay, in October you have the candy corn. In November you have the cranberries. In December you have eggnog. I'm free for three guys. I like all of them, and I like cranberries. You hate them, Good for you, more for me. We did it. We did ten takes, We did ten minutes, talk saquon, We talked being drunk and passing out in the bathroom. We talk cranberries, and we talk hamsters. That's this kind of show that's already over. Don't listen to us, some other pod whatever you got next in your queue. Is probably an hour and forty minutes on the Cowboys. Secondary. Enjoy that this one. We talk quickly, No fat, A'll lean ten takes, ten minutes. Happy Thanksgiving to you next week. Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership with iHeartRadio. For more iHeartRadio pods, go to the iHeartRadio app, go to Apple, go anywhere you like, it'll be there.