Clean

10 Takes with Kyle Brandt: Still undefeated

Published Oct 16, 2023, 3:38 PM

The Eagles and 49ers both lost.  Will this be the week the 10 minute clock beats US?

  • Are the Lions the best team in the NFL?
  • I don't want to hear about injuries,  you see what the Browns are doing?
  • Shelf the creamsicle jerseys in Tampa. I love them but they're done.
  • The Texans are pretty okay, check 'em out.
  • I saw Taylor Swift's beach house.

Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership with iHeartRadio. You did it, you clicked on ten Takes with Kyle Branch. You're here. I have ten takes for you. I'll have ten minutes to give them to you. Just ten minutes. It's all we do here every single time. Ten takes and ten minutes as advertised. As I've said before, very popular in bathrooms. This is a podcast. This is a show you can listen to on your bathroom break, your cigarette break. You are our people. We love you. Question. Niners lose, Eagles lose? Does ten Takes lose this week? Meaning? Do I get interrupted and I'm in the middle of takes seven and the clock goes off and the bomb goes off, and it's all a disaster. It could be the end of our unbeaten streak as well. Only one way to find out. We don't like to waste time. Ten Takes in ten minutes, starting now, Who is the best team in the NFL? Right now? Who is the best team? After six weeks? The Eagles lost, the Niners lost, the Chiefs have a loss, the Dolphins have a loss. Who do you think is the best team? I never thought I would say this in my adult life, or my senior citizen life, or my next life. I think it's the Detroit Lions. The Detroit Lions anchor the best team in the NFL. They won again casually. They thump what we thought was a pretty good Tampa team on the road. They've beaten three first place teams. They're undefeated on the road. Their only loss at home was to a pretty good Seattle team. They had a chance on the last minute, their defense hits, they rushed the passer, they run the ball. Jared Goff is just human, hummus, just humming along, doesn't care, a little, bland but effective, surprisingly kind of delicious, just like Hummus. That's who he is. But he wins. It's incredible. You know, I got so many notices that Craig Reynolds should win angry runs this weekend, Good Morning Football. Craig Reynolds had the block of the year on the Aman Bras Saint Brown touchdown. He came out of nowhere. Craig Reynolds, an undrafted backup running back who played college book cuts down ku Tz Town. He can't win angry runs. It's only ball carriers. I have to stand for something. I have to have a code. But I love that block. I love the Lions. I love that. I'm saying it, Detroit, say it with me right now. The Lions are the best team in the NFL. Take number two. I don't care that the Eagles lost. I mean I do. I think it really matters. There was a big win for the Jets. I'm happy for the Jets. They're playing some really cool football right now. But I am not still not going to say that the sky is falling on the Eagles. I don't care. They're four and one. Is that the record? Five and one? Whatever? It is? Something and one. It is weird that Jalen Hurst through three touchdowns and look kind of listless at the end of the game, especially on the last drive. I don't know what that was about. He was a really, really bad game for Hurts, and the passes were bad. I'm sitting next to Jason mccordy and Good Morning Football today and we watched one of the interceptions. He's like, what was he doing there? That was a bad pass. And yet I still don't think a storm is coming. I don't think you're going to see them lose three out of the next four. I know what the schedule says. There's good teams out there. Their roster's too good, they're too experienced, they're too talented. I think they will fix this. I think they needed to be slapped around a little bit. I think they were sleepwalking. They have been through the first month of the season, and I think the fact that Zach Wilson out played Jalen Hurts is gonna wake them up. I think the Eagles are gonna be okay. Take number three. So the Niners lose, and all the attention is, yeah, well, but they lost McCaffrey and they lost Debo. They were really dealing with a lot of injuries there. Can you imagine the Browns fans shut up? You don't know the meaning of the word injury injuries. We paid a quarter of a trillion dollars for our quarterback who hasn't even had a full practice in over three weeks, who was watching PJ. Walker or a rookie started for us because of injuries. Our best player on our offense by far, is Nick Chubb. He's gone for the season. We don't know if he's ever gonna play football again, let alone for us. But Tonio's out don't even start whining about injuries. We beat you because you're dumb kicker missed the kick at the end of the game, and we expose your quarterback a little bit. But I don't want to hear about injuries. We have plenty of injuries. The Browns are good, the Browns are nasty, and Jim Schwartz owns Kyle Shanahan and take number four. I got mentioned a lot on social media back to that Browns Niners game. See Brandt, You've been telling us that Brock Purdy is actually bot Purty, and he's a terminator, and he's a cyborg, and he's artificial intelligence. He's not flesh and bud. He's not a real human being, but he is. Finally you have your comeup and you see that he made mistakes and actually, through a real interception, actually lost the game that he started. He's human and I see that and I laugh, but it's a sad laugh. It makes me a little sad that people are still so naive and so don't understand what the machines are doing. The machines who manufactured Brock party and they started it in a cornfield in Iowa and college and then the Silicon Valley Laboratory in college and made him bot Party. Their algorithm is so sophisticated that it does not want to project too much confidence. When he's getting too high, you have to let the humans know, Oh, he's not a machine, he's one of you. You have to show mortality so that they believe the illusion. Next Monday night, they're playing a national television. You can't have bought party. Come in and have another perfect game against Cleveland. Then a national television. Then the government becomes involved, Then the military becomes involved. Then the machine secret is up. Yes he is not a human being. Yes he is a machine. Yes he had to show mortality to keep the ruse going. Brock Party is not a human being. He's bought Party, not question Question five. Questions is another podcast we're gonna do. It's ten takes. Here's take number five. I've had enough with the Buccaneers cream school uniforms. I like them, you like them. Their university celebrated. They're really cool looking. They pop right off the screen when Scotty Hansen throws us to the Tampa on red zone. You know what doesn't pop off the screen anytime they wear them? The football, the Buccaneers are so terrible in those uniforms. Did you see Baker's quote after the game? Baker said, we sucked. I sucked, We sucked. That's an actual quote. The Bucks always suck when they wear those Let's remember they started as a franchise wearing those cream school uniforms, and we're terrible, had a winless season. Then they ditch them for Pewter and red and they win two Super Bowls. Works pretty well since they started going back to the creamskicles. Ironically, in nine they've lost four in a row. They give up about thirty points a game. They average double digit loss every time they wear them. Look good, feel good, feel good, play good. No, look good, feel good, play like crap. I like those uniforms, then you do too. Don't get me wrong. I don't like the football they play in them. And if I'm ownership, I'm like, we'll see the creamstickles maybe. And I don't know, twenty thirty five enough of those take number six. You know what the craziest thing I saw this weekend was it wasn't even the Jets beating the Eagles. It was the fact that Aaron Rodgers was throwing the ball around in pregames standing on his two feet doing it. He's not on a scooter, he's not on crutches, he's not on some sort of hospital bed. He's not limping around. He's on the field on his two feet, throwing the ball. He told Solid he wanted to be at the game, and salads like, do you want to be up at the booth? He's like, no, I want to be down on the sideline. He has sustained a massive destructive injury twenty minutes ago. He's throwing the ball on the field. Does this peg? The question is seeming to be back this season now? And I don't mean like if the Jets make some miracle runs to the title game. I'm like, is he going to be back like week fifteen? He's having a crazy aggressive rehab. His recovery is amazing, but we've heard that about every athlete. Every athlete has incredible genetics. Every athlete has access to the best recovery and the best care. I could not believe my eyes. I am very loath to compare myself to Rogers because people get so triggered anytime I even do it passively. I ruptured my achilles. I was about to say mage as he has, I have inferior genes. I'm not a pro athlete. I get it, but dude, I know what it does to flesh and bone. It's terrible. I am so impressed that he's out there, and I feel like he wants to prove to everyone. I'm going to be back. I'm going to be back this season. And if the Jets can just keep treading water and be around five hundred like they are now, it might matter. Take number seven. I told you, guys, you should have killed the Bengals when you could kill them when they're down, when they can't win, when Burrow looks terrible when he's limping around. Now he's back, he's got that twinkle in his eye. He's doing things like throwing touchdowns to rookie receivers named Yoshavas and then doing the Borrow magic, like going to give him the ball and he's so cool, and make sure to have your first touchdown ball. It wins a very tough game against a good Seattle team at home. They're now three and three into the by. You should have killed them when you had a chance. I warned you. Take number eight. I don't have a lot of Houston Texans take so they don't have a lot of sizzle typically, but they do now. They won again. They're going into the by You probably haven't watched a lot of Mother than Red Zone. Try to check him out. The next game that the Texans play, they're playing against the Panthers. Who sounds terrible, right, It's kind of cool. It's c J. Stroud versus Bryce Young, the guy who's picked in front of him, the guy he's been way better than. I'm not going to sit here and do backflips for the Texans. They're the Texans, and they're hovering on five hundred and our work in progress. But they play some pretty damn good football. I like what Demico does on the sideline. I like what Stroud does behind center. That's the team we may be looking at in January. Be like, oh my god, the Texans are playing their standard Saturday playoff game as a wildcard. It wouldn't surprise me. Take number nine. My wife and I had a weekend away this weekend, just the two of us. My mom stay with the kids. We're here in New York. We went to Rhode Island. I've never been there before. We stayed at this hotel. This pretty cool place. It's on the beach. What's most famous about this hotel now is that you know, down the beach from the hotel is Taylor Swift's beachfront mansion. It's known as her Watch Hill, Rhode Island Place. And we show up to the hotel. It's a nice place. It's like, it seems like about two hundred years old. All anyone's talking about Taylor's house, Taylor's house, just people taking pictures of Taylor's house, taking selfiees of Taylor's house. So of course, naturally, Brooke and I are above that. My wife, we walked right down the beach so we could get a better look at Taylor's house. Just suckers and SAPs. It's incredible how seductive fame is just to stare at and rubber necked tails. Swift wasn't name out there from what I hear, he's just haven't been there in two years. But the fact that she owns that house, you can't help but look at it. And I got to tell you the vision I got of it. There's a fence that you can't get on the property. Then there's a fence down the cliff that you can't even get on the cliff to get on the property. So if someone wanted to climb up the cliff and wrist breaking their neck to get to it, they couldn't even do that. There's fifty cameras around. It was foreboding as hell. But the worst thing that happened to us on this trip Saturday morning, we cheered ourselves with some room service. They bring in the little cart. I tried to be smart. This is take number ten. I ordered an omelet. I didn't do the pancakes of the waffles. You take off that Captain America's silver shield and there's your omelet. And what's lying next to the omelet three spears of asparagus. Asparagus sucks. It's worse than cauliflower. It's disgusting. Who in their right mind would want it for breakfasts? You roll out of bed, you want some orange juice? You want some coffee? Do you want a little Danish? Do you want greasy, disgusting spears of semi cooked asparagus that, all, by the way, are gonna make your urinestinct The first time you go to the bathroom and you're sharing a hotel with your wife, it's terrible. I hate asparagus. Oh we want again. We are not the Eagles, We are not the Niners. Those old guys from the Dolphins cannot raise a glass of champagne. I got ten semi intelligible takes in in ten minutes, Philly, San Francisco. That's how you do it. Now, help me out, share, like, tweet, retweet, review, subscribe, whatever the new more updated buzzwords are you tell people to do a shows these days. I don't have a list in front of me. Just do it. I do it for you. I do it because I love you, and I do it because it's really fun. When that explosion goes off, I get scared at the end. I kind of hope you do too. Thanks for listening, guys, We're out of here. Ten Takes. See you next week. Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership with iHeartRadio. For more iHeartRadio pods, go to the iHeartRadio app, go to Apple go anywhere you like, it'll be there.